Top 10 Ways to Know You’re a Political Junkie
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You can’t stop buying Obama Waffles, Sarah Palin’s Mooseburger Helper, and other election collectibles
You can’t wait for this election cycle to be over so you can start planning the Palin 2012 campaign.
You actually know the names of the top 5 people in line to be President, no matter who is elected! Does this mean you’re getting old?
You check the latest polls before you have your first cup of coffee.
You know who is running for State Representative and who is leading in the polls for every district in your state.
You are continually “Girding your loins”
Your toilet backs up and you call “Joe the Plumber”
You watch an infomercial and order a vegamatic, a pocket fisherman, a presidential candidate and, if you order now, get a free vice presidential candidate.
You plan your vacation for next year based on avoiding red or blue states.
For your Halloween costume – you tape nickles, dimes, and quarters all over your jacket with clear tape and go Trick or Treating as “Real Change We Can All Believe In”
You can name all of the 3rd party candidates on the ballet for president and what those 3 letter party abbreviations are!
When your homeschooling wife mentions a “battleground tour”, you start thinking Maine, Pennsylvania or Florida instead of Gettysburg, Bunker Hill, or Bull Run.
Your 11 year old daughter actually chooses on her own to go to a congressional debate on her birthday instead of McD’s.
You put “Mahmoud Ahmadinejad” on your 2nd graders homeschool spelling test.
When your wife resists a suggestion, you respond with “I’ll bet Sarah Palin could … “. (this has become a great joke at our house (she’s a good sport!))
You finish everything you say with, “. . . and I approve this message.”
You actually have heard of Chuck Baldwin.
You keep practicing in front of your family on what you would say if YOU were on the Neal Boortz Show.
Your can kids can find Scranton, Pennsylvania and Bucks County on a U.S. map.
You have a child named Drudge and another named Newt.
You realize you’ve been droppin’ your “g“s.
When you spill coffee on your freshly ironed shirt jerking your head towards the TV when you hear a FoxNews Alert jingle!
After burping a bit too loud your kids come up with a new jingle: “Obama, my name sounds like a burp, Obama“
When you can’t name one team in the World Series, but you can name every candidate in the primaries and can quote the latest polling results off the top of your head.
Your twelve year old can give a more reasons as to why they support their candidate than your coworkers can.
When you can’t take the time to type your Top 10 input because you feel compelled to see what the latests polls…
You can name more counties in Florida than in your own state.
You think the axis of evil is composed of Paul Begala, Chris Matthews and Keith Oberman.
When your kids overhear another adult discussing the candidates by name, (McCain…Obama, etc.) one of them inevitably retorts ‘Oh, yeah – do you mean Barak HUSSEIN Obama?’ with such an emphasis on HUSSEIN that it seems that he must surely be on the terror watch list.
You take the political junk mail you receive…and frame it.
You know you’re a political junkie when you can recite the stocks answers of both candidates before they do.
You find yourself voting multiple times in a Domino’s pizza order tracking page presidential poll.
when you almost laugh outloud at the list but don’t because your wife is asleep and you are reading blogs and checking the polls on your iPhonein bed at 1 in the morning 🙂
Every time I hear a noise in the front yard, I jump up to make sure no one is stealing the little “political signs” in my yard!
You start thinking about fleeing to the mountains “when ye see the OBAMANATION of desolation standing where he ought not” (“loosely” taken from Mark 13:14)
You catch yourself quoting Ron Paul in your Sunday School Class
You are glad mowing season is over since there are so many yard signs you can’t maneuver between them any more.
I know I’m a junkie when I park my car strategically so that the maximum # of people will have to see my McCain/Palin window sticker.
First thing in the morning you go to the following sites: http://www.foxnews.com, http://www.drudgreport.com, http://www.realclearpolitics.com
Then if that isn’t enough, you check them another 2 to 5 times throughout the day.
Then to close out your day you and your wife watch the evening line up on fox news.
Your teach your two year old their colors by pointing to red states and blue states on a map
You have googled the following phrases:
Can McCain win?
How can McCain win?
Can you trust these polls?
Land for sale in Alaska?
When your jack-o-lantern bears a political message instead of a face.
When 60% of the arrivals in your Inbox are from politically active organizations & 30% are political messages from your friends.
When your OTR truck-driving partner’s 6 year old grandson is caught smiling while listening to Fox News on his iPod.
You Know You’re a Political Junkie when your mood for the day is set by the margin in the polls between McCain and Obama; actually mood is set for the hour because the polls are all over the place.
I just like to vote for my favorite crook. sad to say.
When your 3 year old knows the names of both candidates and can recognize the political signs. And your 8 and 6 year old tell why they’re voting for McCain.