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Ok, so here’s a (short) story.

Several years ago, when my older 2 kids were only 3 or 4 or so, they heard the tinkle of a truck playing music as it slowly drove by the park we lived next to. As most curious kids would, they asked what that music was.

My wife and I looked at each other and hesitated. Do we dare? Then she blurted out “Oh, that’s the music truck!”

– When your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.

– When your doctor doesn’t give you x-rays anymore but just holds you up to the light.

– When you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

– When your wife says, “Let’s go upstairs and…you know” and you answer, “Honey, I can’t do both!”

Forsooth Dad,

You know there are times in every man’s life when he stumbles into greatness. That was my lot this past week. I wasn’t looking for any accolades or parades, but my wife had just about had it with some pesky mice who were leaving their tell tale signs underneath the kitchen sink, and I was beginning to tire of her comments.

So, I set out some traps (remember Killer?) and the next morning—BINGO! Then I disposed of the body, cleaned out under the sink, and resumed normal life at the Wilson household. Little did I know what awaited me.

A few hours later, my wife walked over to me, smiled warmly, and said, “Thanks for slaying a dragon for me.”

1. At lunch time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks…Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso! ! ! !