“Cold” is a Relative

“Cold” is a relative term. Use the handy list below to avoid the confusion:

65 – Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night
60 – Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
50 – Miami residents turn on the heat
45 – Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts
40 – You can see your breath
– Californians shiver uncontrollably
– Minnesotans go swimming
35 – Italian cars don’t start
32 – Water freezes
25 – Ohio water freezes
– Californians weep pitiably
– Minnesotans eat ice cream
– Canadians go swimming
20 – Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
– New York City water freezes
– Miami residents plan vacation further South
15 – French cars don’t start
– Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
10 – You need jumper cables to get the car going
5 – American cars don’t start

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0 – Minnesotans put on T-shirts

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-10 – German cars don’t start
– Eyes freeze shut when you blink
-15 – You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
– Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
– Miami residents cease to exist
-20 – Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you
– Politicians actually do something about the homeless
– Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
– Japanese cars don’t start
-25 – Too cold to think
– You need jumper cables to get the driver going
-30 – You plan a two week hot bath
-40 – Californians disappear
– Minnesotans button top button
– Canadians put on sweaters
-50 – Congressional hot air freezes
– Alaskans close the bathroom window
-80 – Hell freezes over
– Polar bears move South
– Viking Fans order hot cocoa at the game