Day 4 – Dad to the Rescue!!

Hey Dad,

Yesterday, I asked the crowd on Face book, “What stresses you out about the Christmas Season.” I guess I was a little shocked, not by the stresses…but the tone in their responses.

Some mentioned lack of money, others said family responsibilities, and more than one mentioned the over commercialization of the season. As I went down through the comments, I felt a twinge of sadness at the realization that so many miss the joy of the season though all the added stresses and disappointments.

“There’s got to be a  way of de-stressing the month of December,” I said to myself, yet I’m not one for easy, three point solutions (life doesn’t work that way). So I’ve been chewing on it…and chewing some more. I certainly don’t have all the answers but I think DADS are the key to the solution. You had a feeling I’d say that didn’t you?

The truth is, our wives feel the stress more than we do. They have lists, goals, and expectations (inner and outer). They may read this article, or better ones than this, and think to themselves…”Yeah, that’s a great idea…but I can’t do it.” Their spirit is willing, but their flesh is week…even weaker in this area than ours. They need us to lead the Christmas charge…or retreat as the case may be.

So have a little pow-wow with your wife. Ask her these simple questions:

1. What do you find most stressful about the Christmas season?

2. If you could do away with some of our ‘traditions’ what would they be?

Take good notes and then…MAKE IT HAPPEN!! Grab the tinsel by the horns and take the lead. Don’t dictate, but strongly insist. I know that I’ve added to my wife’s stress load. I’ll make comments like, “It would be fun to do this for Christmas…” I throw it out there just as a good idea, but I can hear her groan under the added weight.

Here are some other ideas to reduce the stress:

1. Work with the money you’ve got. Sit down with your wife and face the facts. If, you only have $37 to work with…do Christmas for $37. Nothing adds to the stress of the season like financial troubles or expectations. If your wife wants to spend more…be willing to cut something back, deliver pizzas for a few weeks, sell something on eBay…or whatever it takes. Make what’s important to your wife, important to you.

2. Say NO. Forget the annual Christmas party, the Children’s choir, making cookies for all the neighbors, the insane practice of writing thank you cards (whose idea was that anyway?) Just say thank you and let that stand.

You’re wife WILL say, “We can’t do that…they’re counting on us…everyone does it…”

Hold your ground, take the heat, and explain to her, “You just tell them I said so.”

3. Jump in there and help. Write the Christmas letter, brainstorm on gift ideas, wrap gifts, help decorate, watch kids so your wife can get stuff done, and BE INVOLVED. Nothing adds to the stress your wife shoulders more than an absent husband. She needs you to help out.

4. Reduce the amount of presents. Again, take the lead on this and put your foot down. I know my wife gets overwhelmed at the thought of all the new gifts we’ll be giving and getting from grandparents and cousins. It’s time to say, “How about we do something different…like all go out to dinner, go to a movie…go bowling, INSTEAD of gifts?”

Chances are your relatives would love to opt out as well.

5. Get to bed early. Tiredness increases the feeling of being overwhelmed. Forgo late night…you know, in favor of letting your wife hit the hay.

6. Give your wife both ears. Turn off the TV, computer, and cell phone and give your wife your undivided attention.

OK, Dad, we’ve got our orders. Let’s go stomp out some holiday stress.

You ‘da dad,

Todd