What makes a good men’s retreat?

I asked the question: “What makes a good men’s retreat?”

This is what you said…

I want to be able to connect with God, not have a boring speaker. I want long corporate prayer time where the men pour out their hearts to God. I want I want contemporary praise and worship time to connect to God through music. A good Bible time with other men focused on what makes men be men – God, and how to use what’s in scripture in my everyday life. ~ Walter

I simply don’t like men’s retreats. I just don’t fit in. I’m a Children’s Minister who doesn’t hunt or do sports…my wife is great…my kids are respected…I left a corporate job to do ministry…not much left for guys to have in common with me. There’s also simply the barrier of … Ooh, he a minister…i can’t be honest. I find it’s best for me in very small groups where I can be honest and after a few months, they can too. I have one great guy friend who understands me and we encourage each other as men, dads, and husbands…we had wings late last night…much better than a retreat. ~ Alan

Now, any men’s retreat MUST include a round of golf or else it’s just “a retreat that is predominantly comprised of men”. I would like to know when and where the retreat is once planned. I think men getting together to better themselves is a good thing. Not that it matters, but Microsoft Word believes that the previous sentence should have been worded, “I think men getting together to better themselves be a good thing.” Does that make any sense to you? What on Earth would we do without the wizardry of Microsoft editing? ~ John

I run a Christian camp and since we are mostly bunk style we only get youth and men’s retreats. Our most popular men’s activities are lumberjack contests that include: Naigelschlagen (pounding railroad spikes in a stump; least amount of blows wins…we had a guy do it in two effective blows once and you’ll be surprised that the bigger guys don’t always win); Caper Toss (heaving a good sized log the furthest distance). Other popular activities are skeet shooting and hatchet throwing (we get our hawks from www.fortturner.com). One last great activity that even men love is a contained dodgeball game called Gaga (actually it is Jewish dodgeball and very popular at camps across America). This is a simple activity you can build with three pieces of plywood cut in half and then some hinges (http://www.ultimatecampresource.com/site/camp-activity/gaga-pit-or-israeli-dodgeball.html) . OH, and you need a great what to bring list. One list I found after cleaning up from a men’s retreats only had three things on the what to bring list: ben-gay, breathe-right-strips and ear plugs! ~ Matt

The makings of a great Men’s retreat for me requires recreation, rest, and real discussion–along with a speaker that is serious but also fun, engaging, and challenging. Of course the topic is important: it can’t be too light because training men to disciple their families requires good theological discussions. I have to mention that the most life-changing one for me was the one you spoke at in ’09 for GFC in Avon. I’m the guy you inadvertently encouraged to adopt by not being a “dream-killer”. Besides that, I remember the discussion group that some of us had on Saturday night that drew us all together in a personal way. Throw in some football, disc golf, and a nap on Sat. afternoon, and that was a perfect weekend. ~ Tom

For us, a great men’s retreat consists primarily of (not in order of importance):

Great food. We start with a simple meal to prove to ourselves that the retreat is about God, not food. With our hearts affixed on Him, the rest of the retreat is steak, biscuits and gravy, fresh homemade apple pie.. mmm.. the next retreat is in a month!
Chewing on the Word (Did I just use a food analogy? Better check my heart again). Each man brings a prayerfully-created devotional. The Spirit often coordinates these devotionals, and we often end up with a common topic that God challenges us with all weekend.

Sizzling atmosphere (mmm, do I smell the grill?). We have our retreat in a simple cabin at a local lake. Being in God’s creation (OK, it’s a man-made lake; this is Kansas after all) provides a peaceful atmosphere without distraction.
Close friends. For us, an optimal retreat is one in which you can quickly get to the good stuff — and I’m not talking about my famous chocolate-peanut-butter-balls! We drop the facade and dig into the good, bad, and ugly in our lives, and don’t shy away from the hard issues. This check-up can’t come soon enough each year. ~ Ben

Combining scripture and biblical “manly” teaching with doing “manly” things. For instance:

learning what the Bible says on how to be a Godly man and father. Talking to other men who’ve managed to be Godly, and retain real and proper masculinity. Plan a hard activity with a definable finish. Perhaps rock climbing, white-water rafting, or the like. Shared achievement is a good thing.

Serve a beer or two. Albeit not at the AA meeting, but still, give guys the chance to loosen up. Keep it social. Should definitely involve a camp fire or bonfire. May involve firearms. I’m not bringing any, but I’m not ruling them out either. ~ Jeff

I go every year to a men’s retreat here in Oregon: Men’s Roundup. It’s a Conservative Baptist call with about 2,000 men showing up for great talks and songs of praise. Most years I like to pull away and get charged up for my roles, etc… However, to answer your question I think a great men’s retreat would include multi-generational mix. Meaning: I’d love to attend with my sons and fellowship with elders and youngins… that would be awesome! Family Camp would be sweet too but this is more the ‘Male’ thing just with wide open call regarding ages. And tents, cabins, etc.. are great… not much into the hotel thing. ~ Kaleb

I know this will sound anti christian but. I would love a retreat that was nothing like church. No songs or planned “meetings”. We all love camping and sitting around a fire, telling stories that share our heart and make us laugh. I believe men don’t go to retreats is due to it being nothing like a restful group of guys having the time of their lives and learning from each others mistakes. Guys growing in Christ just looks like guys sitting around fishing, swimming, paintball, riding horses. ~ Larry

A chance to talk, have fun, shoot some guns, talk about God’s plans for our families and our role in that plan. I like to do things that are active. Give me a team building activity or adventure and I’m in . Have me sit in a conference all day — not my first choice. ~ Jason

As they say when planning events… males want to know what they will do and females want to know who’s going. The best men’s retreat I ever saw, was Friday night/Saturday at a fancy hunting ranch, called Flint Oaks Ranch near Wichita Kansas. We had a shooting class from an expert, and a competition. Of course we had a speaker, skits, singing. I can’t remember what we called it but it was a catchy name men would like. The craziest thing happened, on the beautiful Saturday morning, when 60 men were standing in a circle getting instructions from the expert, with their shotguns unloaded and open, a beautiful pheasant flew right over the whole group, like it knew it couldn’t be shot. ~ Charles

I like mens retreats that are not so organized that there is no flexibility to them. also it is essential that we get some time to interact before what ever activity we are doing together. my son and i go to a hunters retreat every fall. when we first get to it we set up camp and set around the camp fire talking to other men and cooking hotdogs over the fire. the kids run around excited and get reaquainted with kids they haven’t seen in a year and the dads sit and talk about adventures they have had since the last gathering. i want to feel invited by the other men and accepted i also want to make new comers feel invited. ~ Dallas

For the past number of years the men at our church have been doing retreats in the “off season” at a kid’s camp. usually we do a friday eve. teaching session, then games/sports till we all crash into the bunks. Saturday has a short morning session followed by several hours of whatever work they need around the camp. After lunch there is another session followed by each man taking a turn on one of the “hot seats” and the rest of us gathered around praying for each. Saturday eve. we all head home. It’s amazing what God can do in the hearts of 20 or so guys (and sons over age 15) in 24hrs. of teaching, talking and teamwork. ~ Dan

We have a group of guys from Peninsula Community Chapel here in Hampton Roads that comes and puts on a great Men’s Retreat. They always do a fun “Man Activity”. One time they split into groups of 5 or 6 and each group got this assortment of glider parts and rocket engines and duct tape and such and each team had to make a flying machine. They competed for hang time and distance. The same group plays night games. They have way too much fun. Once they had to build a catapult. I think Boulder toss was another game they did. I also think small group processing of the keynote sessions is critical. Small groups should be established at the beginning of the retreat and a facilitator appointed to lead a discussion after the sessions. Ideally the facilitator is supplied with questions either from the speaker or the coordinator of the retreat. I’m biased on the next one, but venue is pretty important. I think choosing a retreat center over a hotel is good. Hotels have too much in the way of distractions. Find a place with no TV. Don’t bring the laptop if you are tempted to work. UNPLUG. Great food helps. Lots. ~ Bob