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Phrases from a Man’s Thesaurus

  1. “IT’S A GUY THING”

    Translated: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”
  2. “CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?”

    Translated: “Why isn’t it already on the table?”
  3. “UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” OR “YES, DEAR”

    Translated: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.
  4. “IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”

    Translated: “I have no idea how it works.”
  5. “TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD.”

    Translated: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”
  6. “THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.”

    Translated: “Are you still talking?”
  7. “YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.”

    Translated: “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop,’ the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I’ve ever owned… but I forgot your birthday.”
  8. “OH, DON’T FUSS — I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT’S NO BIG DEAL.”

    Translated: “I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt.”
  9. “HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING.”

    Translated: “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”
  10. “I CAN’T FIND IT.”

    Translated: “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”
  11. “WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”

    Translated: “What did you catch me at?”
  12. “I HEARD YOU.”

    Translated: “I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next three days yelling at me.”
  13. “YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.”

    Translated: “I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse.”
  14. “YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.”

    Translated: “Oh, please don’t try on one more outfit. I’m starving.”
  15. “I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.”

    Translated: “No one will ever see us alive again.”
  16. “WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.”

    Translated: “I make the messes; she cleans them up.”

From “The Good, Clean Funnies List” www.gcfl.net

This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. I cut and pasted these phrases to an email to my husband.
    I put “Must you read?” in the subject line…Ha ha, the next email I sent had “It got you to read, right?” in the subject. Can’t wait til he calls today…He he.

  2. oh my goodness that is too funny! I am the only female (besides the dog) in my male dominated world. I have already learned to speak caveman and now this list will help me understand them even better! Thanks! Can I post these on my blog linking it back to you? I blog at:
    http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/boysrus
    Thanks! Dee

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