A Big Glob of Poop
Hey Dad,
I just got back from cleaning up a big glob of kid poop off the bathroom floor. (Didn’t your speech teacher tell you to start with an attention grabber?) My wife conveniently left for a meeting, leaving me with our two youngest. One slept; the other played, while I worked in my basement office. That’s when I got the call.
“I went poopy. I went poopy…” Isaac shouted. He was still new at the bathroom thing and occasionally had…uh…problems.
I raced upstairs muttering angrily to myself, “Oh, Isaac!” I didn’t like the tone of my voice, and I knew I had used it a lot lately. It was the tone that said, “Why’d you go and do that? You should know better…I’m disappointed in you.”
It’s during those times, when they’ve accidentally broken something, made a mess, or caused a big inconvenience, that they need my help and encouragement, but instead I offer disgust and disapproval.
Then, their eyes show fear and hurt…fear and hurt that I’ve caused.
Thankfully, I realized all of that as I ran up the stairs, and by the time I got to Ike, I was a changed man.
I stepped into the bathroom and was greeted by a fresh cow chip. Had I not needed to clean it up, I would have been impressed by the sheer size. He must have been storing up for a week.
Ike looked at me as if to say, “You’re mad at me, aren’t you?
“I’m not mad, Ike. It’s OK. I’ll get you all cleaned up. You’ve done great at learning how to go to the bathroom…and sometimes these things happen.”
You should have seen the change that came over his face. It was OK that he had failed. I was not going to yell, and he didn’t have to feel bad.
You know dad, your children need your acceptance, when they succeed AND when they fail. In fact, they need it even more then. They need you to hug them when they get a low grade on a report card, break one of your tools accidentally, announce that they have to go the bathroom right in the middle of something important…or leave a pile of poop on the floor.
So, surprise the socks off your kids the next time they fail (you shouldn’t have to wait too long), smile, and tell them it’s OK and that you love them more than anything.
You ‘da dad!
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Todd…I’m a MOM and read this posting and had to laugh. Also, I could relate with the negative tone. I find myself being upset because I’m the one being interrupted to take care of poop! (or whatever the situation is at hand) And so often, I let my children know my exasperation! One thing the Lord showed me is that verse that says something like “a soft answer turns away wrath”…well, what He showed me is that if I respond “softly” (not screaming) then it turns away MY WRATH. (not my children’s) If I start getting upset and yelling—it makes me filled with wrath, but if I start out in a softer tone, it takes that urge away.
THANKS so much for being real, and for this excellent reminder. I just signed up tonight and can’t wait for my DH to get the weekly newsletter. God bless!!!
Elizabeth Revak
(Ohio)
Todd, I keep thinking about that verse in James that says “the wrath of man does not work the righteousness of God,” and your story, coupled with our daily experiences, only prove that. How quickly we let loose our frustration, anger and exasperation! And how dreadful the look on our kids’ faces when we do so. God help us all, Moms and Dads, to turn away our wrathful responses with soft answers that come from mercy-softened hearts. Thanks, man!
Excellent post -just looking at back posts as I have only now found your site. Keep up the encouraging work -we need it -from a fellow dad.
Ouch!
After 5 children poop doesn’t scare me anymore.
go poop!
Another mom here, who can relate only too well to that negative tone of voice. I’m convicted. Thank you for the reminder that grace and acceptance is always the best way.