The Holy Grail of What Wives Need to Feel Loved
Hey Dad, I just want you to know that what you’re about to read is considered to be the Holy Grail of Husbanding.
I asked 40,000 women what they would like from their husbands (on Valentine’s Day) that would make them feel loved. This is what they said… PAY ATTENTION!
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For me, I love it when my husband takes care of the house and kids. He will cook a wonderful supper and then have the kids clean up. I can just sit down and do whatever I want!
I love it when my husband gives me time to myself to do whatever I want to do – go to the bookstore, sit at Starbucks and drink a yummy coffee, or just go shopping with friends. It’s always nice to get away and not have to feel guilty about it!
My wonderful hard-workin’ man is the king of not-romantic (really), so my most amazing gift is when he takes the time (verbally or written) to say why he loves me. Appreciation goes a long way…
(My husband is a truck-driver on 3rd shift/different world.) To make time to sit and pray together hand-in-hand, quietly. To surprise me by making dinner (and clean up) or doing some major chores of that day. To express verbally or written his heart felt feelings for me. To take me hiking if the weather was nice that day. Something that is related to nature, or other personal interests I have, even if they are not of his own interest.
I would really love a sincere note telling me he appreciates me. He’s in Haiti working right now and will be through Valentine’s day. I’d like him to tell me to take the kids and I out to dinner even though he can’t be with us. This will probably have to be through e-mail since mail and phone still aren’t working but a sincere, heart-felt e-mail would be beautiful.
My husband is sweet to always ask me what I want for Valentine’s Day, but I would love it if he would just surprise me. I appreciate him asking, but it can take the “specialness” out of it if I am the one choosing and scheduling everything. If he were to pick a restaurant and line up a babysitter on his own, that would make me feel really special. He did this once before and I’ve never forgotten it.
In the morning before he left for work the other day he asked me for some hugs and kisses. Not just going through the habit of a peck before he leaves but an actual snuggle! Mind you he’s heading out the door so I know it wasn’t because he wanted it to lead to something else.. he just wanted to hold me. I felt warm fuzzies all day long over that little request. : )
i love it when my husband plans and entire evening out – including arranging for the babysitter.
I’m not terribly hard to please when it comes to gifts. I don’t want jewelry, flowers(wild flowers) are fine, don’t really want chocolates…A card and dinner is perfect. What I DON’T want to hear? Well, I just didn’t have the time to do anything else. I’m just so busy that it makes it hard to do anything. Really? Tell me about it. If it was important, you would find the time and not complain about it.
Not that I have any experience or hurt feelings in this area or anything! I’m just sayin’…
I don’t really care about the gifts (don’t get me wrong there nice as well as helping around the house) but I would love it if he would just get my son a bath and put my son to bed on a regular basis without me telling him. So that I can sit down in the evening once in a while to watch a movie. Also to carry on a meaningful, interesting or fun conversation instead of stuff like work, bills, kids, repairs. (I guess that’s my love language (book: The 5 languages of love)
Valentine’s Day is not just once a year. Love can be shown in small ways everyday. Just like when you dated.
I would love for him to plan a surprise for me! He does make me feel cherished in many ways, but that is something he has never done in our 26 years of marriage. Regardless, I am blessed to be his wife:)))
Anything along these lines: Offering a foot rub-or even to exchange them, instead of being asked. Just taking the lead and offering to go for an ice cream or coffee tea break. One single flower just to be sweet. Putting on some lovely music after the kids are in bed, and pulling me into a slow cuddle dance… And most importantly, all throughout the year.
Forget the diamonds .. forget the flowers .. there are only two things I would love for my husband to do for me this Valentine’s Day:
1. scrub the bathrooms (I mean really scrub them)
2. Hold my hand in public
That’s it!
You know I am not big on the gift thing. It is a waste of money in my opinion. The feeling it gives lasts only a moment. But, If he would give me the day off and let me to spend a few hours out and about by myself and then come home to a clean house with clean rooms and clean children. Wow, now thats a gift that will last all year! As you all know, being a homeschooled mom, time by myself is rare. That is a special treat! NutBugs.com
My husband has always been great at being thoughtful throughout the year, and I would say that would be what I desired most (especially on those special days). There is nothing in particular (gifts, flowers, etc.) that are best…it’s the time they put into it. I think when the husband takes care of dinner plans (whether cooking or taking us out), and brings a card or verbally tells how much he loves/appreciates you makes any day a romantic and special one! Dessert isn’t a bad idea, either 🙂
My husband writes me a letter and it is always SO much better than a purchased card!
Eating out is great. Cards and flowers are good. But what I would really love is for a few of those “things that never get done” to actually get done. The last couple of pieces of trim on those cabinets he built, clean up the car port, finish that project in the office. That would show me that he is listening and cares enough to push through and get it done just for me!
I have another unromantic man, so there are so many things that would tell me I am valued. I think the best way would be to send me for the weekend, alone or with my girlfriends, to my favorite place and have my husband “be me”. Not just sit around, like usual, and wait until I get home to do everything! Actually shop, bake, cook, take the kids where they need to go, plan the following week. Then share his experience with me. He might have some insight and I would definitely feel closer to him :O)
I would love to be surprised by dinner, planned and prepared (and cleaned up) by him and the kids, accompanied by cards that I can never figure out when they found time to secretly make for me ~ gets me every time! 🙂
My hubby shows me he loves me and appreciates me daily so Valentines is not a much different day for us… as it should be for married couples everyday not just one day a year.
However, he usually takes me out to eat, buys me a little something.
This year though, I would love it if he would cook for us instead of going out to eat. He is an excellent cook (His Momma taught him well!) and I’m sure the meal he made would be just as special (if not more so) than some dinner out a restaurant.
A love letter or just a homemade card letting me know how much he loves me.
I would love for my husband to involve my children in some way to do something for me. Maybe cook a nice dinner together (and clean up) while I relax, make homemade truffles for me or a card with their scribbles and handprints . . .
I would LOVE it if he would get together with the children and make me a homemade gift! No chocolates, overly expensive roses or fancy dinner at the Olive Garden, just a nice homemade gift, scrapbook page, photo calendar, placemats w/handprints etc. That would show that he had taken the time to think of something that he knew I would love and got organized enough to get the kids together to work on it! That would melt my heart! Oh, and maybe cleaning the kitchen! 😉
Dinner and a rented movie is our special thing. We take turns planning Valentine’s day(I don’t think it’s a one way street) But one of the most ‘romantic’ things my husband has done for me is load the dishwasher, yep something as simple as that really make it clear that he loves me. I also really appreciate when he gets in the kitchen with me to help clean. It gets done so much faster.
I feel cherished already, so there’s a high bar to look at if my husband wants to do something to cherish me extra special on this one day. I did have an idea, though. I’d like for him to arrange childcare for the evening and let us go to a show/performance and dinner. But that’s me—what I like. I would also like for him to read to the children and/or play games with them—that really blesses my heart.
I want my husband to notice that I exist. I want him to notice what I do. I want a husband who cares. If you do that no valentine’s day is needed.
I’d like for once for mine to remember that he has a wife at home, and not stay later than needed at his job, to make me feel more important than work for a change
My DH is so good at making me feel cherished everyday that I have a hard time making a big deal out of Valentines Day. I love when he rubs my feet just because they’re in his lap or tells me to go sit when he can tell I’m exhausted or joins me in the kitchen to talk & help. I love when he makes sure the kids get ready for bed on time so I can spend the evenings doing the stuff I couldn’t get to all day. I love that he’s affectionate with his words and actions. But the best – and rarest – treat is when he gives me time to spend with a friend and I come home to find my chores done. I love you, honey!
SURPRISES! I would love for my hubby to plan the entire evening/day without me having to plan anything.. Flowers are also great. Time alone….
I would love it if my hunny took the time to plan something special in advance for just the two of us. Spontaneity is nice, but planning something a bit more elaborate tells me he’s been thinking about it for more than his drive home from work that night. Also, a handwritten letter that tells me that he loves me and that I am irreplaceable to him. If said letter has a small trinket along with it or a rose or something – nothing too flashy or expensive – that is great too, because after I read the letter, each time I see that item, I would remember the words he wrote whenever I see it/ feel it, and it would help during the tough moments. To summarize: Time with him, written words, and advance prep = Cherished. Cherished = score for him, you know, you get what you give, and more.
Just notice me. . .the kids are dressed, fed, loved, house is in order (usually)…I don’t want jewelry or chocolate. ..but a little attention and appreciation would overwhelm me with adoration!
I would love for my DH to say “Honey, I noticed some yucky gunk in the bottom of the fridge, so I wiped it up”. Actually, he wouldn’t even have to say anything – because I would notice the yucky gunk was gone, and I would know he did it because he loves me!
How could my husband make me feel cherished? Wow! I haven’t felt that feeling in a long time! Honestly, I think I would go with the same concept most of the other ladies have shared. Surprise me! Plan an evening out, schedule child-care, get me all dolled up, get himself lookin’ fine! Then let’s hit the town! Eat out, dancing, holding hands in public! Like in the beginning….. before LIFE happened!
It would be wonderful to have my husband plan a special time. Money is tight at this time, so cost doesn’t matter. It’s just the thought that he would plan something out for us to do, and key words here: something he knows that would appeal to me and not just watching a man movie marathon and playing basketball,(we have 3 sons, so guy stuff happens around here a LOT!) but dinner (even if it’s at home, only sans small people) where we talk with out “Mama! He did THAT to ME!” interruptions.Since Mamas have to think for everyone in the household, I think it would be great for someone to think of the Mamas. 🙂
BTW…Love your stuff, Todd. Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe? The best homeschool book I have ever read. I just gave mine away to my Secret Mom who’s a newbie. I’m gonna have to get me another one 🙂 Thanks for keepin’ it real.
http://www.musingsofamanicmama.blogspot.com
My request does not require jewels, candy and flowers or a trip to somewhere exotic. I simply would like him to take me in his arms and kiss me, sit with me on the couch and talk with me. Just some time where we focus only on us. We had a baby last July and he (baby) has not been the easiest of children to say the very least. There is quite a gap between my other children and the new little one of almost 9 years. It’s honestly like having my first baby all over again. It is rare to say the least when my love and I can just look in each others eyes and connect. That is really all that would make me feel special, time with my love and best friend as if we were the only two people on earth – if only for 15 to 30 minutes (until the baby started to cry).
I love it when my husband calls me (he works out of state)just to say ‘I love you’. Also, when he’s home we go somewhere alone together and just talk. I don’t care that he doesn’t do the dishes, but it is so nice to talk to him while I do them! I guess the best thing he gives me is undivided attention (diamonds and bling are the extra icing on the cake – I love flashy)! Flowers from the florist are a waste of money – go to Costco and get 2x more for 1/4 the cost! Take me for a burger – steak from the grocery store is cheaper and he grills it better than the cafe! but don’t skimp on the love and attention! (or bling)…;) After 28 years and 5 kids, 4 grandkids, and 3 foster kids, I like to know I am the most important thing in his life, because he is in mine! And I thank God everyday for him!
I feel special when the “holiday” lasts beyond the giving of the gift. Expecially when the holiday lands on a Sunday (like this year.) Typically, the gift is given in the morning and then after church it’s back to routine i.e. nap for him. How about making a day of it – let’s spend time together and share the responsiblilty of looking after the kiddos. It’s less about the gift and more about being together.
The “stuff” is too easy. Things are nice, but if money’s not tight, it doesn’t seem like it took much effort. Plan dinner out—INCLUDING finding a sitter and making sure the kids are ready for her & fed & dressed. More importantly—don’t do it on Valentine’s Day. That’s too easy too. It doesn’t feel as sincere. Make the effort that you did BK-before kids!
I’m with Liz, below. Nothing makes me feel more special than going out with my husband alone, but for HIM to do the planning and arranging of the sitter without a worry for me is the BEST way to tell me he loves me. And please no OVERPRICED roses on Valentine’s Day. Wildflowers on any other day are even better!
I love it when my husband writes, in his own words, how much he loves and appreciates me. Anything else is icing on the cake!
“Actually, the way I see it, you womenfolk make a pretty big deal out of all that pregnancy and childbirth stuff. I mean, how hard can it really be?”
Okay, Todd, you asked for a woman’s perspective. From a woman’s perspective, what makes me feel loved and cherished is a husband who wouldn’t even say such a thing in jest!!!! 😉
(This perspective is from a woman who has had 8 medically difficult pregnancies plus 3 miscarriages and is thankful for a husband who encourages me to adjust.)
I feel most cherished and loved when my husband takes the time to talk to me,to listen to what I have to say,no matter the subject.
I am lucky and have valentines day every day. My husband cooks most of the time, cleans up, helps with schooling and caring for my mom, who recently moved in with us. I need to plan a suprise Valentines for him. So with that said, I Would love, for just the two of us, to have a night out where we can both appreciate each other. Most importantly is telling each other how much we appreciate what the other does. Snuggling is always a way to her heart with no expectations attached.
I would love it if he would set up a date with me. Organize the babysitting, plan what the kids will eat and do while we’re gone. Then surprise me with an adventure date, something we use to do, before we had so many wonderful children:)
Just to be told “I love you” again and given a hug. That would mean a lot.
I read a few of the other comments and noticed a lot of people want time to them selves. Valentines day is for lovers. What I would really like is him. Just time for the 2 of us. No T.V., etc. Spending time together without any distractions. It does not matter what we do or don’t do, or where we go or don’t go, as long as we are together, with no other responsibilities. Just the two of us.
“Actually, the way I see it, you womenfolk make a pretty big deal out of all that pregnancy and childbirth stuff. I mean, how hard can it really be?”
Todd, you made the above statement and then immediately asked for a woman’s perspective. Well, from a woman’s perspective, what makes me feel most loved and cherished is a husband who doesn’t even say such things in jest!!! 😉
(This perspective comes from a woman who has had 8 medically difficult pregnancies plus 3 miscarriages, and is very thankful for a husband who encourages her to adjust.)
I’m real! 🙂
My husband is so good at listening and helping out around the house and with the children. He’s really the best man I could ever have married. But there is one thing, I would love a meal without any children. No picky eater sitting across from me making gagging faces, no toddler trying to dive out of her seat next to me, no one to cut food for while mine gets cold. I absolutely love my little ones, but I haven’t had a meal with just my husband in such a long time. That would be wonderful!
I would love if he took the time to do a homemade gift with the kids, and planned a fun family day. I wouldn’t mind an hour or two of free time either with no guilt!
I would love nothing more than a getaway (for a couple of nights)to a beautiful bed and breakfast in the mountains where it’s peaceful!
I would love the gift of time to myself. I’d like it if he would take the kids somewhere for a half or even a whole day so I could stay home and get caught up on housework, listen to an encouraging cd, pray, read my bible, scrapbook, or the like.
Then when they come home, I’d love it if they had flowers and supper with them!
I’d love for my husband to clean out our family car. If it was vacuumed, maybe detailed, I’d be thrilled. I’d be almost as thrilled if he called from work once a day just to check in with us.
All 4 of our kids are under 6 yrs. old. I would love it if he got a sitter and just wanted to spend time with just me!
I would like my husband to take me on a date and listen to me.
A hand-written note telling me why he loves me. He says “I love you” throughout each day, but it would be nice to have a reminder of what makes him feel that way toward me. Oh, and hand-written (I don’t care how bad your penmanship is) is WAY better than a typed-up and printed-out note. Unless he got really creative with personal pictures and clip art….
If my husband asked me what is it that I wish I could do/have but I don’t think I should spend the money. I’d love to redo the main bathroom, but I hate spending money on new towels, a rug and shower curtain. If I just had the go ahead to do that, I would love it!
My husband would REALLY show he loves me if he spent all day with me and the kids, and stayed OFF the computer – for the whole day. NO COMPUTER! And it would also be a nice touch to show affection towards me even when we’re around our friends.
I would feel cherished if projects I needed done got done, if items I needed purchased to complete my own projects were purchased. I would feel cherished if when I finished cooking a great dinner (which I always do ; ) my husband asked me to sit with him and told the kids to do their work without mom making them. I would feel cherished if my husband made an effort to give me a gift I wanted instead of another bunch of cut roses that will be wilted in a few days.
I would love if my husband would coordinate for the babysitter and we enjoy an evening out and a hot meal I didn’t cook.
As a wife, I read through the above list and I didn’t hear one wife say “My husband already loves me. so this year I think I will find a way to treat him special on Valentines Day.” I think this year I am going to thank my husband for all the wonderful things he does and then find a way to bless him in an extra special way.”
I would love a child-free day. First, several hours to myself at home. My husband always encourages me to “get out” when he is available, but I want to be alone in my own house. Then I’d be happy to make him his favorite meal and have the rest of my alone time with him!
And to Curious, we were asked how to turn some men into Valentine Heroes. I have no guilt whatsoever for saying what I need for once.
I would be willing to cancel Valentine’s Day if he would just leave the cell phone in the car when he gets home from work and also not take it on family days and on vacation.
Yes, no guilt on this one…I wanted to know what you ladies want…not your husbands.
I would love to be held, have my husband’s presence in the kitchen (where I seem to spend most of my time other than homeschooling), and receive little “happy’s” (thoughtful, inexpensive gifts—a cup of coffee, etc.) My husband is a wonderful provider, but I’d like him to realize my stresses with homeschooling aren’t “just part of the job.” We are in this together, I think??
My husband does a great job of helping out all during the week and we’ve had regular “date nights” for the past 18 years (out of 29 years of marriage). We also try to go away alone together for the weekend a few times a year. But the way I really feel cherished? It’s by being listened to and talked to…the words from a song the kids were listening to this morning sum it up perfectly:
Talk to me, show me that you care
Talk to me, listen to what I say,
Talk to me, there’s so much we can share,
I know you love me when you talk to me.
I would love some time alone with him. I would love his undivided attention. I would love a full body massage with hot oil given by him. I would love for him to carress my head and cuddle with me—and to have a meaninful conversation. I want him to make me laugh-and then he can seduce me.
I agree with most of the other ladies that have written – no expensive gifts. Time is the most precious gift – his time, that is. He does so well already helping around the house, being a good father, a very busy and loving servant of the Lord and His work, and telling me he loves me – but one thing I would like more than anything is for him to slow down enough to open up and include me in his thoughts, plans, dreams and sharing what God shows him and be willing to listen to me as well, in a quiet environment (no kids – and not rushing from one activity to another). Then we can plan together on how to fulfill God’s calling on our lives. This would require time set aside for togetherness more than just on Valentine’s Day – but would be priceless.
I would love to be able to sleep in!!! It would be great if he made breakfast for the kids so that I wouldn’t have 6 “starving” children waiting for me when I do get up.
These are great ideas for a guy to do for a girl, but how about for those of us women who are romatically challenged? I don’t have a CLUE what to do to show my huuby how much I appreciate him besides giving him the red ribbon treatment 😉 So can you help out us girls, too?
Wash the pans instead of leaving them in the sink. That would warm my heart 🙂
Todd, thank you for asking the question. I am humbled as I read these posts. Some made me cry they were so simple and the yearning for love and appreciation was so great. I realised my husband does all of these things for me almost every day. The most special gift he gives me is a day and night with him once a year..without kids… and it gives me the best memories that I cherish all year. We have no money for a hotel, so we spend money of fresh flowers for the house and a bottle of wine and he cooks me a simple meal. We go outdoors walking and we take time to share our hopes and dreams and sometime dispointments with each other. We encourage each other in the Lord and pray together – nothing could be better.
My husband is so great everyday with helping, sending me notes, calling me from work, taking the kids so I have a day off, taking me out to eat and so much more. I am totally spoiled. I try to do special things for him too. I am overweight, so it is special when he gives me candy for Valentine’s because he is saying that he knows I like chocolate and he loves me as I am so he will not withhold chocolate even thought I don’t “need” it.Does that make sense?
I feel so loved when my husband does the little jobs that I ask of him instead of turning to one of the children and having them do it. That’s love to me. No passing the buck!
I would love him to give me all that he gives to neighbors and friends and his job. I appreciate that he is so generous to all these others but I feel empty and would love him to make the path straight for me, our home, our homeschooling, and just rap up all the lose ends, get things ready to move o. I want to feel like I am getting the best part of him, not the dregs after doing for everyone else and working.
I like a lot of the suggestions the other ladies have written. I would like a day with him, without the kids, I don’t care what we do as long as he plans it and I don’t have to cook, clean up, or plan anything. I just want time with my hubby! A gift would be nice, something from my wish list.
My husband is a wonderful help around the house most of the time, cooking or helping with school when he’s off. He lacks in the romance department, especially physical affection. I would love a real kiss, even in front of the kids, not just a peck, and to hold hands, he used to all the time, but now it’s like pulling teeth.
My husband has broken my trust over the years. Added to this, is that I feel neglected. He is a fun dad to the kids, but I would like to see him step up to be the spiritual leader in the family. In light of the pain he has caused, and the every day “neglect,” I would almost feel insulted if he tried to make Valentine’s Day special. What do I want then?? Unselfishness. Just step up and be kind and compassionate every day. He is allowed a bad day now and then…but it would be nice if the ‘good’ days outnumbered the ‘bad.’
My hubby has been so thoughtful to get the grandparents to watch the little ones while he booked a romantic night away for us to a local nice hotel. Having a quiet dinner together and quality alone time just helps me to enjoy being an adult, a wife, a woman. Then I’m good to go!<3
Oh, that would be nice. I said I wanted that for our tenth wedding anniversary. Mentioned how I was looking forward to it, I told him that I would love it if he would surprise me and told him where in the Rol-A-Dex I had the babysitters’ phone numbers. The anniversary came, the anniversary went, and nuthin’. I had to beg him to please let us go out to lunch quiet-like just the two of us, so we had a quick bite at a diner.
Later that night I put on my nice dress while he was asleep and had a lovely little “date” with our youngest. He was three months old at the time, and still nursing at night anyway, so I figured I would dress up for it and pretend I was going out. I got his first real giggle that evening from him. At least there was one sweet thing to have as a memory.
I think just hearing him tell me…again…how much he loves me and how much he appreciates being married to me makes my day. I do not see myself as being a very good wife at all, so when he makes that effort to tell me that he thinks I am good for him…boy does it go a LONG way. And maybe, if he keeps telling me enough, I will actually start to believe it. 🙂
Oh, and making dinner and cleaning up would just about make me faint…in a good way. 🙂
My hubby’s job keeps him so busy during the week that he won’t even notice if a special day is coming or has already left. I don’t want any gifts, just quiet time with him ~ maybe a walk to the beach to hang out with him and the shore life.
I’m not one that is big on receiving gifts a lot, I like the cuddling in front of the TV, eating popcorn and watching a good movie (no chick flicks). Just knowing that he wants to spend it with me and not his pals is a big booster. Also, a love letter or even an email letting me know his feelings about our relationship as husband and wife. 22 years is a wonderfully long time with my man and I am passionately in love, head over heals with my husband (praise God!) So I think a letter would be nice and then we can cuddle while watching that movie eating popcorn!
as a single parent I would feel most cherished if someone would volunteer to watch my son for a few hours and let me take some “mommy time”
Wait a minute, isn’t it Valentine’s Day for the husband too. Let’s not forget to do for them what would make them feel special. It is always nice to have something special done for us or given to us, but what do we do for those who day in and day out give to us by providing for us, listening, helping with the children, and dealing with the hard things in life? How about if we show extra love, make a great dinner and be extra understanding even if he doesn’t remember or doesn’t do things exactly the way we think it should be done. Valentine’s Day goes both ways ladies!
What do I want? Nothing. My husband is a great guy overall… hard working, good provider, fun dad, does anything I ask him to do, sacrafices his own desires in the interest of family time. But he is the most unromantic guy EVER when it come to Valentine’s Day, our anniversary, my birthday, Christmas… He waits until “the” day (usually late in the day, or after someone else has wished me a “Happy…”) and then says, “You didn’t expect me to get you anything… like flowers or a present, did you?” So when I say I want nothing. I mean NOTHING…especially that comment. I don’t know why, but if he said nothing at all, I don’t think my feelings would be so hurt.
I’d love it if my husband would tell me I look pretty. He hasn’t said this in years. I know I’ve gained some weight; but I always try to dress nice (I don’t hang out in sweats!), I do my hair every day, wear some jewelry & makeup, and even wear his favorite perfume. I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got, lol. He just seems to avoid saying I look good, it makes me sad.
I have been reading all of these and wonder how many of the ladies tell their hubbies exactly what they want. I mean, let’s face it ladies, we are forever changing our minds and our poor husbands don’t know we have changed them. I have the most wonderful, terrific husband in the world and even he can’t keep up with my mood swings and mind changing. All he asks is taht I tell him exactly what I want then he does the rest. Oh, by the way, when my hubby asked this year I told him that I wanted some of the little small bills paid off and he is doing his best to get that done. Yes, that is what I really wanted for Valentine’s Day. It will be okay if he gets me flowers, candy or something else too but if he doesn’t that will be okay too because he asked what I really wanted and I told him. I do not need anything else. We will be married 20 terrific years this August and we have never had a fight or arguement. (yes, we do have kids). We just talk things out with each other and LISTEN to each other.
Hope everyone has a
Wonderful Valentine’s Day!!
I also would love for my husband to tell me that he thinks I look pretty or at least nice, haven’t heard that in a long time. And a whole day and night with no computer! I’d like him to actually listen to what I say, and just want to be with me now and then. It would be nice if promises made for years got fulfilled and jobs around the house got finished or even started. Flowers and such are nice and he will do that but actually instead of cut flowers, a plant I can transplant in the yard or keep in a container lasts longer and keeps memories fresh.
1.)Say kind words about me to our kids, instead of bad-mouthing me!
2.)Get rid of the porn on TV and the internet! Realize, I can’t (and won’t) compete with that.
3.) Be the leader (spiritual, as well) in our home. Be pro- active, not passive.
4.)Lose weight, exercise, eat right to get rid of the meds, and the ED.
Pretty tall requests! Been married for over 30 years. It was not an un-godly decision to marry, just not wise.
I want to nominate my husband for the best Valentine’s present giver! He did good this year. I don’t know if he read these posts or not, but thanks for asking us. He got me a 100 reasons why I love you book, which at first glance i was a little disappointed because it was someone else’s words – but to my great surprise and delight he wrote on EVERY page for me. Some romantic, some funny, some TRUE (he crossed out some things that weren’t applicable:) – I appreciated that so very much. The very first page said from the publisher: “I love you because you kiss me like you mean it.” – to which he added in his own words – “you were my first kiss and you will be last kiss and all the in-betweens too.” – wowee – i cried – now ladies – we have a very NORMAL marriage… many ups and downs – many disappointments too – but since I started meeting with other wives to study Titus 2 and live out the principles God has established for wives, things are taking a turn for the better. How could they not. God commands us to respect our husbands EVEN IF they don’t deserve it. Hard – I know – but He will honor your obedience to that. Trust me – I know… My husband has noticed my efforts and he is very appreciative. I don’t always get it right, but with His strength, I’m not giving up. This present for Valentine’s Day was a little encouragement sent my way. I’m grateful.
I would love to have time to just talk with my husband, having great conversation and praying together is my deepest need. Valentines day is nice, but what are we doing all the rest of the days to communicate love to our mate?
Hello all dads that have taken the time to read this, especially if you have been directed to do so via the Calendar your wife gave you. Although I thought the calendar was strange to get for Christmas, I kept flipping the pages as days past by all year long.
First off thanks to Mr. Wilson for providing this very helpful tool to assist guys like me in remembering the simple stuff like telling, actually telling my wife that she does mean the world to me.
To Mr. Wilson; it has been my privilege to read your entries on the calendar each day and also to get to know you through the Mache Conference that my wife and I attend each year in MN. Thanks for fighting the good fight, and thanks for speaking about topics that some men would find difficult to attend due to the content. We guys, wait, I sometimes don’t want to acknowledge that I have a plank in my eye but really enjoy picking the speck out of other’s eyes. What I am trying to say is it’s good to have a heart to heart or in your case a heart to many hearts. Things I have learned in my journey over the last couple years I attribute to reading your books and listening to your seminars at the various different events.
Summary of most of the posts here are this; take time with your wife, tell her that you love her, tell her by saying it, by cleaning it, by spending time with her, be a man, own your marriage, invest in your marriage like you would golf/football/computers/games/whatever it is that you enjoy doing and you will get the most out of it.
Thanks again Mr. Wilson for all you do,
Husband of a Homeschooling Mother, MN
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For him to want to spend time with me… even if I arrange a babysitter and time to go do something he won’t go. Or he will rush through it if he does go like he can’t wait to get away from me. My parents take our kids every Friday night, he won’t do anything but watch Tv and drink beer. Would be happy just to take walk holding hands, doesn’t even have to spend money. To discipline the kids in love, not treat them like they are stupid. To stop telling me we can’t afford what we need when he spends hundreds a month on beer and chew.
Well I am a words of affirmation girl so I feel loved when he takes the time to really look at me and tell me he appreciates me, that I’m doing a good job, that I look pretty, that he is proud of me etc. Those are the things that do it for me. Keep your presents and what not, just a little praise every so often will do me 😉
I wish my wife would sit on the couch and talk to me for 10 minutes just once without my having to beg her for a half hour first and without her spewing out negativity about everyone and everything.
[…] direction. A few years ago I asked a bunch of wives what they would like for Valentin’es Day. Their responses BLEW ME AWAY!!! They shared practical ideas as well as a bunch of […]
[…] of telling you what to do for your wife, I’m going to let you read what a bunch of wives said they’d like for Valentine’s Day. It’s brutally real… but you and I need to read their words and hear their hearts… and then […]