In light of my recent car troubles... 10. "Dad, do you leave the same air in the tires throughout their life or do you have to put fresh air in them every now and then?" 9. "The check engine…
1. You’re so sick of the cold you won’t even go near the refrigerator 2. Word association game: Cold - Hot Elephant - Beach Al-Qaeda - Sunshine Bacteria - Tan Stapler - Warmth 3. You wear a Speedo and sunglasses…
1. You’re wife texts you to bring home a case of Lysol on the way home from work 2. You’re house smells like the inside of a stomach 3. As you tip-toe to the bathroom in the middle of the…
1. Tattoo “Be My Valentine’ on your tongue 2. Front row seats at a Monster Truck Rally 3. Coupon for a free septic tank cleaning 4. Instead of having a star named after your wife…name the mole on your foot…
10. It's so cold... the hot fudge freezes before it hits the ice cream 9. It's so cold... Canada geese are all saying "Hey hoser, it's cold... eh?" 8. It's so cold... we're leaving the fridge door open to warm…
1. To cry more 2. To let our teenager daughter stay out later 3. To spend more time at Chuck E. Cheese 4. To wear the color puce more often 5. To ask directions when we’re lost 6. To watch…
1. Bobbing for hedgehogs (United Kingdom) 2. Decorating the Christmas python (Africa) 3. Icing Vegemite holiday cookies (Australia) 4. Sea turtle tipping (Hawaii) 5. Replacing the roof on your house (Florida) 6. Sweating (Thailand) 7. Hanging lights and tinsel on your Humvee…
(...that is, Dads don't want to receive these...EVER!!) 1. Skinny jeans 2. Tickets to the Ballet 3. Membership to the sorbet of the month club 4. Holiday oven mitts 5. A Justine Bieber bobble head 6. Any tie that looks…
1. Here, why don’t you sit on this side of the table so I can see the TV. 2. I’d like to know what the fat grams are on what YOU just ordered. 3. Would you believe this is the…
1. Your kids ask, “When do we get to decorate the ugly thing in the corner?” 2. The only place in the house that hides all the bald spots is the closet. 3. Someone puts a sign on the tree.…
