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You Can Learn a Lot From A Dummy!

How are things at your house? Life is pretty good at the Wilson’s. The snow has melted, the kids are healthy, and my wife and I are doing great, but that wasn’t the case a couple of weeks ago.

Marriage is like that. One week everything is fine; the next week you are on the downward hill of the roller coaster of life screaming your lungs out.

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A Big Glob of Poop

Hey Dad,
I just got back from cleaning up a big glob of kid poop off the bathroom floor. (Didn’t your speech teacher tell you to start with an attention grabber?) My wife conveniently left for a meeting, leaving me with our two youngest. One slept; the other played, while I worked in my basement office. That’s when I got the call.

“I went poopy. I went poopy…” Isaac shouted. He was still new at the bathroom thing and occasionally had…uh…problems.

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My Son Hacked Off a Limb

Hey Dad,

It’s bitterly cold outside, but spring is coming. I can hardly wait because I’m a ‘plant guy’. I like flowers, shrubs, ornamental grasses, and trees of all kinds.

This time of year, I eye the plants in my yard and see what their prospects are for the summer. I check the red twig dogwood branch for swelling buds, pull back the old growth from last year’s perennials to see tender shoots poking up, and blame the deer for nibbling the tips off my white pines.

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A Rock’em Sock’em Pillow Fight

Hey Dad,

The other night we had a no-holds-barred, rock’em-sock’em-pillow fight. It had been a while since our last battle and the kids had been begging for a re-match for weeks. They had worn me down. I had no excuses left. They had won.

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A Dad in Shining Armor

Hey Dad,

It’s eleven o’clock in the morning. The kids are still in their pajamas, the house is a disaster, and my two-year-old has consumed an entire box of Ritz crackers. I wouldn’t be in this predicament if my wife hadn’t decided to get sick this morning.

At 6:30 A.M., she quietly announced that she felt terrible. Being the good husband that I am and the author of a weekly Familyman e-mail, I leaned over and said, “You just stay in bed and rest.” After all, how hard could it be to care for five kids and fit in a little homeschooling?

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