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Top 10 Ways to get rid of raccoons in your attic

  1. Learn to play the flute and start walking down the road (it worked in Ireland)
  2. Don’t get rid of them – learn to co-habitate with all living things.
  3. Grab the little rascals by the scruff of the neck and teach the kids proper ‘coon punting techniques (this one may not go over too well with the animal lovers in the house) (also make sure someone gets it on film – AFV loves this stuff).
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Dad Quiz

You know you’re a man, if you answer “C” to ALL of the following questions.

  1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to:
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What Women Want in a Man

Original List (age 22):

  1. Handsome
  2. Charming
  3. Financially successful
  4. A caring listener
  5. Witty
  6. In good shape
  7. Dresses with style
  8. Appreciates finer things
  9. Full of thoughtful surprises
  10. An imaginative, romantic lover
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Marbles Matter

Hey Dad,

I’m not a math guy. I don’t do well with fractions, quadratic equations, or pi. I’m OK with counting, but that about does it.

But, here I am writing to you about math and fathering. Definitely, a Familyman first. In fact, I’ve been pondering math all week. It all started as I was tooling down the road listening to the radio.

The smooth voice on the other end explained how he was going to place a marble in a jar for every Saturday he had left of his expected life span.

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You Can Learn a Lot From A Dummy!

How are things at your house? Life is pretty good at the Wilson’s. The snow has melted, the kids are healthy, and my wife and I are doing great, but that wasn’t the case a couple of weeks ago.

Marriage is like that. One week everything is fine; the next week you are on the downward hill of the roller coaster of life screaming your lungs out.

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A Big Glob of Poop

Hey Dad,
I just got back from cleaning up a big glob of kid poop off the bathroom floor. (Didn’t your speech teacher tell you to start with an attention grabber?) My wife conveniently left for a meeting, leaving me with our two youngest. One slept; the other played, while I worked in my basement office. That’s when I got the call.

“I went poopy. I went poopy…” Isaac shouted. He was still new at the bathroom thing and occasionally had…uh…problems.

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Caught in the WEB

Hey Dad,
Just heard about another dad who got caught in the web of INTERNET pornography (maybe that’s why they call it the world wide web). Man, I hate that! I’m not shocked or appalled…just saddened. I mean, satan knows what kind of bait to use when he goes fishing for men.

I’m sure that dad didn’t anticipate where it would lead. It began with a simple click of the mouse when no one was looking. Afterwards, he begged forgiveness from God and promised himself that it would never happen again. But it did.

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Sam’s Amazing Wigglers

This toy has been around for ever, but it still wows children and adults alike. Available in a variety of neon colors. Our Wigglee is manufactured to a very high standard and will not pull apart easily. BEWARE of poor imitations!
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Familyman Life Guard Dad Tee

These shirts are offered for a limited time only and will not be shipped out for about 4 weeks (because they haven't been printed yet). But they are worth the wait. Just imagine the message you give your children, wife, and the world when they see you wearing this incredible shirt. What are you waiting for???
Color:

Size:

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Will The REAL Homeschooling Mom Please Stand Up!

Are you convinced that every homeschooling family except yours is great? Do you believe the lie that others are more organized, better prepared, have smarter kids, are wiser parents, and have a child in the national spelling bee? Well, let me set the record straight...that's not the way it is!
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