Familyman Spotlight – Mark Fry
*Name* – Mark Fry
*Age* – 38 (39 in October)
*Location* – Sandy (Just south of Salt Lake City), Utah
*Years Married* – 8
*Number of Children* – 2 boys (Colin — 14, Aidan 6 and the 3rd boy — Ryan – on the way any day now!)
*Employment* – Training Manager for a software company “Datavision Technologies”:http://www.datavisiontech.com/ that deals with 4 and 5 star hotels all over the world.
*One thing I did right* – I feel as if I have done a good job raising the boys to be polite, sincere and above all Godly. In this day and age and also the state we live in, it is hard to find Godly people. We are constantly bombarded with the other main religion in our region and it can be very difficult to keep things in perspective, especially for a 14 year old boy. To combat this, we have become more involved with our church family — “Shadow Mountain Church”:http://www.shadowmountainchurch.org/. Colin went to his first ever church summer camp in the mountains outside of Salt Lake City and came back a changed young man. God is now at the forefront of his life and he attends youth group on a weekly basis and has friends at church now.
*One thing I’d do differently* – Spend more time with the boys. It is truly amazing at how often “Things” come up around the house. House needs cleaning, cars need washing, bushes need trimming, the usual maintenance around the house. All of the “Things” that are so important to us Dads are really not that important, especially to our kids who just want our attention. I just need to stop and take a few minutes out of each day and play with my sons more. That is one reason why I signed up to be my 6 year olds soccer coach. It is only an 8 week season, but I get to spend more time with my son and it will force me to put those “Things” aside for a few minutes and practice with him on a daily basis. Don’t ever pass up a chance to take your kids with you to Lowe’s or Home Depot. They get just as big a kick out of all of the tools as you do. And you get to spend time with them to boot.
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I agree totally about taking your young men along with you as often as possible. Last night I had to have a friend help me move a piano off my moms porch. As I was leaving the house I looked over and saw my 4 year old son just sitting there. It hit me that even though it was just going to be me and my buddy moving big pieces of wood around, my son would probably get a huge thrill out of it. He loved just getting to be there and feel like “one of the guys”. As we were riding home I looked over at him in the seat next to me looking so happy and said to him “I love you buddy”. He looked up and said “I love you too dad.” It’s those moments that I always cherish getting to have with my little guy. I challenge the rest of you dads to think about this the next time that you are about to leave the house alone to do a menial chore. Your son would probably jump at the chance to just ride along with you. Remember,
You ‘Da Dads!!
big “amen” Mike
thanks
Oh Mark, If it were just that easy for me. I do try to take my guys with me on errands and stuff. I have three boys that are now 12, 10, & 8. But most of the time they are not interested in the stuff I’m doing, and have other stuff that they’d rather do. Maybe this is my fault for not involving them at younger ages, or maybe it’s just their make-up. But I’m determined to do what I can to stay connected. My oldest one is the hardest. He likes to read a lot. But a couple of weeks ago they put in a ping-pong table at our local park. He loves it and has become much better than most of his friends. Fortunately, I can play a little a give him a challenge. Now he will come to me and ask if I’ll go play some ping-pong with him. That’s when I have to seize the moment and put aside the “important things” and go to the park. Who’d a thought that ping-pong would be such a bonding point. Hopefully other things will open up as his interests change. I just need to keep my eyes open for those things that help build those bridges with my guys. Maybe someday a trip to Home Depot will bring a flash of excitment to their faces. Until then I’ll try to get excited about whatever things they like- and take the time to do them together. AND, I’ll still keep inviting them to go where I go, just so they know that I want to be with them.
Yo Jeff…Is your house/apartment big enough for a ping-pong table purchase? Two years ago, my son Cameron broke his foot. HE was 12 then and sounds a lot lke your oldest. I’ve struggled connecting with number 2 in our line of 5, but ping-pong was the answer! When I found he enjoyed it, I saved family bucks and bought the family a table. For $250, it has been the best investment ever! I’m not saying that you should “buy your connection”, but that stupid ping-pong table has paid for itself over and over again with the late night tournaments that our entire family enjoy. Not only that, we recently had Great Lakes Christian College students to our home to stay after they perfromed a concert in our little church and guess what happened??? Yup, Ping-Pong tournament and awesome talk w/college students. Seach out the connect and roll with it buddy! Ya never know where God is going to lead it!