Team BadDad

Hey Dad,

It’s been a good week in the dad department, but not because I’ve been a good dad or anything. Actually, the opposite is true. It’s because I’m not a good dad that I feel good…because I’m in good company with team bad-dad.

It started last week when I got an email from a dad with adult children. He was beating himself up over his child’s choices who was not doing life like he envisioned. At the end of the email, he asked, “How do you not beat yourself up over the things you should have done differently…or feel responsible for the outcome of an adult child?”

A day later I had lunch with a good friend. We were chatting and catching up when towards the end of the conversation, he sighed, slumped his shoulders, and said, “I’m a bad dad.”

I couldn’t help but smile knowing he felt exactly like the dad who had emailed me the day before…and what all of us dads feel so often.

But here’s the truth: my friend is a good dad and so is the dad who emailed me his situation. They are both good dads who aren’t perfect, who make mistakes, & who blow it from time to time. That’s normal and that’s OK. God could have made us perfect, without flaws, and unaffected by the baggage we all carry…but He didn’t…because it’s not best and then we wouldn’t need Him. And you should be OK with that, Dad.

You are part of a team of bad-dads who are also good dads. We love our children. We want what’s best for them. We want them to walk with God and love us & Him. AND we know God is bigger than us & our mistakes and can get our children exactly where He wants them to be—even with our bad-dadness. And for that, I am grateful and can relax and don’t have to get stuck in the mire of “I should have done this better.”

So Dad, maybe you’re feeling like a bad-dad. Accept it, embrace it, and keep showing up for duty. Keep loving, keep leading, keep asking forgiveness, and keep seeking God’s wisdom.

Thanks for being on team bad-dad…and thanks for making me smile.
You’re the best!

I’m ‘da Bad-dad, 

Todd