I Gave It Up For Them
Hey Dad,
I’m back in the saddle and ready to rock and roll…well, not really. I feel like I need a nap. It was a great four weeks on the
road and the RV ran like a champ…except when it broke down for about 5 hours, but I should take the blame for that one.
I met a lot of great dads on the road and many of the familymen commented on the fact that I had given up my smart phone. Several were contemplating doing the same. They felt the need to do so but weren’t sure they could pull it off. One dad said, “I sure do admire you for giving up your smart phone, but I’m not doing it.”
That comment struck me as honest and telling. I think a lot of dads feel the same, “Yeah, I know I should…but I’m not.”
There are lots of reasons to keep them…work, camera, apps…but….
Dad, I would NEVER tell you to give up your smart phone, dumb phone, ESPN, or hobby…EVER. BUT if you feel like you should, then DO IT!!!!
Here’s the deal, as I lounged around the pool, sat in fast food joints, and walked around a Magic Kingdom, I couldn’t help but notice all the dads on their Phones. I wanted to say, “Who you talking to that is more important tan the people right next to you.”
The world is filling up with zombie families who sit side by side but are a hundred, or a thousand, miles away.
So I decided in the last three weeks to launch my “I gave it up for them” campaign. I’m not sure how it will look or what it all means, but I think it’s time to do what is right. I feel like we’ve been so enamored by what we could do on our phone that we have not asked what we SHOULD do on our phone. I’m even thinking of offering a free, new T-shirt to the dads who give up their smart phones for their families (I don’t have them yet).
So whatever this all means. I’m declaring war on dad-distractions…especially the smart phone. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty…I just want you to experience God’s best.
So…let it begin here.
You ‘da dad,
Todd
PS – If you give up your smart phone please let me know?
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Just want to say I love this idea.
A few months ago I was at a restaurant and was so impressed to see a whole family with heads bowed around the table. You just don’t see that much anymore. Then I realized–they were all looking down at their phones. 🙁
We have a rule that there is to be no smart phones active while out to eat, doing a family activity (pumpkin patch, museum, etc.) or any other activity where attention is supposed to be on each other…except for picture taking. We can take it out for picture taking (my main form of picture taking at family fun events since I never remember the camera and it has a better camera on it than the actual camera I have). I have ring tones special for specific people so I know who is calling without even looking at the phone. I only answer during these times if it’s my mom (she is elderly) or my husband if he is not with us (he works quite a distance and sometimes he needs information). When they know we are out somewhere for family fun, they only call if it’s important. I have broken my husband out of having to read the news on his S4 while eating dinner. I told him he needs to be in the here and now with us eating. I like having my smart phone but with these rules in place, we can use it when appropriate and put it away to enjoy our family. I can go whole days without pulling it out except for the occasional quick phone call (we no longer have a land line so it’s the only way anyone can call me). I am SOOOO not a smart phone junkie and am trying to help my husband not be one either.
Todd, I admire you for going against the grain on this one. I don’t think many people will like it or do it, but you are trying to make a difference and that counts. My wife and I both have smartphones but are not hooked. Mine has mainly become the family camera while we’re out. We also have some iPads, and while we’ re out to eat we surely look like the ultimate modern family with our children’s faces peering into them at table. But we do this specifically so my wife and I can talk to each other. Our small social circle includes very few babysitters. I guess each family has to figure out what works for them, but keeping all this tech. stuff under wraps is going to be tough no matter what. Thanks for all you do.
If my employer didn’t require me to have a smart phone I’d get rid of mine. However, it’s part of my job. I’m on-call and have to support smart phones for nearly 200 employees. Otherwise, I’d get a dumb phone.
YES! This is great! I only have a dumb phone and I get frustrated when I see people tuned out to the rest of reality while they are texting or playing games. I work hard at being present with my family! I want them to know I care! I fully support your “I gave it up for them!” campaign! I love to see more people at least keep them put away.
I love the idea, but I don’t think there should be an exclusive view of success in this by trading in your smart phone. I think a resolve to not be on it while with your family is just as admirable. And it gives due credit to guys like John (commented above) and myself, whose smart phones are required for work. As long as we’re giving full attention to our family when we’re with them, I think that’s what matters.
Karl,
Great point…and you’re right!!! But I know me…I tried to hold it back, but it won (over and over). So I had to go cold turkey. I’m guessing some other dads who don’t have the fortitude like John, might need to do thesame. Thanks for saying what you said. – Todd
This is great. I have wrestled myself to the ground and gave up Facebook for sure. I try to just use my smart phone as a normal phone, but kinda need Google Maps, else I would have had NO IDEA where I ended up in the woods hunting this morning!!
Truly though, I agree with this in spirit. If you can’t control how you use the thing, get rid of it. Same for TVs/DVD players/Netflix/blah blah… which are not NEARLY as useful.
I’m going to brag on my man…not only does he not have a smart phone, but he doesn’t have a FB either. He carries a company phone, but a lot of the time when he’s not at work, he doesn’t even carry that. My husband, the father of our 4 kids, won’t be caught twittering at Disney World! Good for you, Todd, for taking a bold and sacrificial stand and being there for your kids! Let us know when you get the t-shirt and we’ll buy one!
I gave up my phone to save my marriage. It was a gateway to temptation and distraction from my wife and kids. I have a smart phone now as a requirement for my job. I use it as any person would, but I have learned that attention to my wife, 4 year old, 2 year old, and expecting (very soon) kids is something that Satan wants to steal and use to destroy my family. A smartphone and my bad choices almost took my wife and kids from me. Never. Again. Ever.