Chuck Norris Facts
Chuck Norris doesn’t play “hide-and-seek“. He plays “hide-and-pray-I don’t-find-you.”
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Chuck Norris?” It simple replies, “Run while you still have a chance.”
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Noris’ PC will crash
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says it’s beef, then it’s beef.
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Could there be anymore typos in that? Otherwise … funny!
Hope I fixxed thim all, Petee.
Tod
Chuck Norris was the 4th wise man – notice how he was left out of the stories? He wasn’t really mad at the Gospel writers but you never hear of the 3 wise men again… Also, he gave the baby Jesus the gift of beard. Something the Lord used throughout his life instead of a bunch of perfume and spices.
Chuck Norris’ teacher was the one who coined the term “creative spelling”.
If Chuck Norris cried his tears would cure cancer.
Underneath Chuck Norris’ beard is another fist.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice!
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.