I’m such a jerk-dad
Hey Dad,
My throat is sore. It’s not sore because I have a cold…but because I just hollered at one of my sons. I’m such a jerk.
I had planned to write a nice sweet update on a nice note I got last night from my daughter and how much I felt loved…and…and…then I blew it big time this morning. I’m such a jerk.
I hate the look of hurt and sadness I can cause. I asked forgiveness, we prayed together, and he hugged me with a “yes, I forgive you” hug. But I still feel like a jerk.
Why can’r I jiust learn how to do this dad-thing well. I get tired of failing…of blowing it.
But the thruth is we dads don’t have the luxury of getting bogged down in self-pitty and despair. They need us to be ‘da dad. My children need me to bounce back and be the dad they need.
And so I will…even though I still feel like a jerk. I’m sure I’ll hug my son many times today. I’ll tell him how sorry I am for acting to terrible. I’ll grab his hand as we watch a vidoe tonight…I’ll tell him how much I love him when I say goodnight…and I know he’ll say to me, “You’re the best dad ever…I love you.” Driving the dagger deaper into my heart. I’m such a jerk.
I’m guessing you are too, Dad. But don’t give up. They need you to hang in there.
You ‘da dad,
Todd
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Todd, I feel your pain, as I have felt that same way many times in the past. I think we have to remember that we all are continually growing and that our children understand forgiveness better than us. If we could find a way to forgive ourselves as quickly as our children forgive us we would be in such a better place.
Honesty is amazing. Thanks for letting everyone know you are human. We all make mistakes. Transparency helps us all. He will learn forgiveness, honesty, and humbleness from you.
I can totally relate to this article. Thanks for sharing and the encouragement.
If you never fail, you can never show your children how to accomplish restoration and forgiveness. My husband is so tightly closed up that his kids never see his emotions, his humanity or even his love. Embrace the emotions and embrace the love that comes from restoring and hugging after such an incident.