I’ve got Stale Date Nights
Hey Dad,
I just realized that I’m stale…or at least my dates are. My wife had me listen to the Jan 1 Focus on the Family broadcast. It featured Jim Daley and Greg Smalley and they talked about staying in love and breathing fun into your marriage.
You know, if you had asked me if we had good date nights. I would have said, “You bet. I love our date nights.” But after listening to the guys banter around I realized that maybe my wife viewed our date nights differently.
In fact, when I asked her later that day if she felt like we need some variety in our dates, she responded just a little too quickly for my liking with an emphatic, “YES.”
So…I’m looking for some great and creative date ideas (that aren’t stupid). Got some great ideas? Post them below!!
You ‘da dad,
Todd
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My wife and me are planning going to get matching tattoos on Feb 23 a week after our birthdays and plus I am taking her to a very nice resturant.Pauletts in Memphis Tn.I date my wife once a month after I almost destroyed our marriage.But God brought us through it and I am in more LOVE with my wife then the day we got married.I send my email and text throughout the day to let her know she is my 1st behind Jesus.
todd thank you for doing what you do.Sometime the writing hurts a dad but this what we need.If you ever come to Millington please let me know or even Memphis tn.i would love to come and see hear you speak.You rock brother keep up the great job
What kind of tattoos are you getting?
I just had an idea, thanks to your provocation. When my wife and I first got married, we would drive around looking at houses and talk about what we wanted. Almost at the 10 year mark, we are starting to need to expand. She needs me to initiate a couple of daytime, just us, house hunts! Going to lineup a sitter today, thanks for challenging us to be great dads and husbands!
Great idea. Do it.
Thanks for the challenge/reminder Todd. Just invited my wife to join me for lunch, nothing overly special, just a chance to spend time together in the middle of the day.
You ‘da Husband!!
This one is kind of seasonal, but I was proud of it.
Last Summer a group of us married couples were given a challenge to plan a special date night for our spouse. My idea was pretty simple but it was great even though it didn’t work out.
Here in St. Louis, we have free concerts under the arch before the Fireworks shows for a few nights around the 4th of July. I took my wife to dinner at a restaurant that neither of us had ever been to and then to the concert and fireworks show. The concert ended up being cut short and the fireworks show called off as we ended up seeing a lightning show instead. At least my wife was kind enough to realize that it was the thought that counted.
Priceless!!
Before we had kids, date night was EVERY Wednesday night. To prevent “staleness”….each night was assigned a letter of the alphabet….so, we spent the week trying to figure out activities or restaurants that started with that letter. We hit the batting cages for letter B…..Drive-in movie for letter D…..Appetizers at Applebee’s for letter A.
I love this idea!!!
Great idea! Going to have to use that one!
You men are a blessing, I pray my daughters will meet men who are as humble to the wisdom of GOD. After a couple of years my husband cared little about the Lord, me, ,marriage or being with family. He spent most of our 32 years distancing himself from all of our family activities and our homeschooling endeavor.
He likes to be ‘entertained’ at all times, the ‘noise’ never stops . He always has to have some stimulant of some kind ..radio , music, TV or some activity . He gets easily ‘bored’ with ” mundane’ things like family life that involves maintenance of relationships or house.
Instead he spent his time, energy and interest on his career and other women. He finally managed a double life with another woman who approached him while he was away from us during a transfer. His life went on in duplicity for 14 years. The excuse for all of this was ‘I need to get to the office’ and such things.
He and she had two children while I was kept busy and off balance with many moves and homeschooling . Basically I was taught to be the cheerleading wife …he enjoyed two lives.
His adultry was discovered during one move. We are still married 32 years. He is a deeply wounded man. He has to work hard to try to recover from great financial losses. His generousity to this woman has now become millions and most of it has us in deep debt.
All of us suffer the loss of his time, energy and affection as he ignored my efforts throughout our marriage.
Other women make wive’s job a lot more difficult . He made a lifetime of comparing what he had with whatever else was offered to him . ALL of what is taught in terms of God’s commands to husband’s in the Word is truth and needed.
Focus upon the wife of your youth. Study HER not ‘women’ . Be thankful for her…and let her know it .
I have been practicing contentment , thankfulness and offering support and love to a husband who didn’t want me or marriage because he would not avail himself to learn from anyone or anything once he got me….not even God.
He is now deeply depressed. He was very successful and popular but threw it all away while neglecting his family .
I continue to try to engage him in healing . He simply will not . He is FULL of pride …I love ‘anyway’ and with energy but he has moved out of our bedroom.
He quit giving to our relationship many years ago but he did it in such a way that it seemed there were always ‘responsibilities’ for his time elsewhere so he ‘couldn’t ‘ take time for me or our family . Even on vacations he made plans to spend with others on the golf course leaving me to spend time with other couples…! Hawaii was very sorrowful and lonely .
I pray that those who are reading this blog will continue to be humble to the wisdom of it .
Our daughters have followed the ‘no dating ‘ and waiting for God to bring them a husband . Since this discovery hit our family it is now very difficult to trust that there are any young men for them that will not turn out to be like their father…When I met him he was generous, kind, excited, modest and charming …he has a great personality but has not cared to develop a godly character
Sorry to bring this to this site…but I wanted to exhort the men who come here to love their wife. The OW is nothing more than another woman who has many and various issues as well to overcome …If you can love one woman well you can love your WIFE ….and that should keep you busy .
If your eyes are reserved for your wife then you will have enough landscape to look at and you will learn to appreciate her….BTW I spent our entire marriage keeping in mind that I should maintain my appearance and appeal ..I look pretty much as I did the day we married…which is some kind of miracle considering the neglect and lack of love and affection I have suffered.
Some people are just never satisfied. It takes TWO .
Thank you.
Your loyalty to him is outstanding and undeserved. But I want to give you hope. But for the incredible grace of God and the loyalty and love of my wife, I was on that path.
Your loyalty will be rewarded. Hopefully, but perhaps not in this life, but certainly in the next – and with rewards you cannot even fathom right now.
Grace and peace to you.
Thanks for the reminder, Todd. I just sent an email to my wife asking her to lunch one day next week – it’s been too long since we did that. Like the previous poster, I almost destroyed my marriage. But the love of God and the love of my wife saved me and our marriage.
Blessings,
Bruce (from Canada)
My husband bought me a handgun for Christmas. We went on a date to the shooting range to practice and for him to instruct me. We have another date to do the same with a group of friends next month!
This is a great reminder Todd. It’s is kind of funny but even with apps like Date Your Spouse and others, my wife and I still get in to ruts (and I am the one who wrote the Date Your Spouse app!). Sometimes we need help being creative so getting ideas from things like the app or other material helps a lot. Focus on the Family and Family Life both offer great ideas on keeping dating alive. Tonight I am getting takeout, serving it up on the nice dishes, and serving my wife like she ordered room service at a nice hotel. She really likes this one.
Will
Every Thursday night is our date night… and the night of the week my wife looks forward to the most!
Last week we drove 30 minutes to Olive Garden for a romantic Italian pasta and wine sample dinner in a quiet “upscale” environment. (Note to fellow dads: the environment can be just as important to our ladies as the food… along with time just being with us… to talk.)
But this week it was a local cheap Chinese buffet followed by shopping for diapers and food at the big-box stores (not so romantic but necessary.) She liked it too!
The point is that our wives want… and NEED… this one-on-one time with their husband each week… away from the kids.. no one tugging on their side needing their attention or fighting or whining or needing a diaper changed or a spill to clean up. They want time to develop our ongoing relationship. They want to look us in the eyes and talk. To tell us about their day, their week, the challenges with the kids, etc.
They want our affection… to hold our hand, to have us wrap our arm around them. Yes, to even kiss them in public.
They want to pray with us. To read Scripture together. To ask us spiritual questions. To lead the family in building character, instilling values, and teaching our children truths.
Fellow dads, I will be celebrating my 16th anniversary in a few months, and our #6 is due in just a few weeks. I have been far from perfect as a husband and dad — just like you. But one thing I have learned is that my wife desperately needs and wants alone time with me regularly… “date night”… for these reasons listed above.
Since we homeschool, she is around the kids all day. One evening a week is the very LEAST I can do for her. And now that I have typed that, it sounds awful… why would I want to give her *just* the “very least” !?
It’s up to me and you to man it up week after week. Marriage is a lifetime marathon. One date night at a time. Let us work hard to keep our first love with our wives that we had before we were married when we were dating and engaged and so head-over-heels about our soon-to-be wife! Remember those days?!
I wanted to share some “date ideas”. My husband is a full time pastor in a rural town while I am a full time homeschooling mom. We have a very tight budget and must be creative w/o spending a great deal. Thankfully, both of our moms live here in town and love to babysit for free! Back in the summer/fall, my husband suggested that we spend a night at home w/o our 2 kids. He offered to grill steaks and fix baked potatoes for our supper. He knows I love his grilled steaks! While he grilled, I set the table which is on the patio. As a last minute idea, I lit two votive candles. He thought that was romantic ~ a candlelit patio dinner. We did that again a few weeks later. Another idea involves my husband fixing special desserts for me. I love his deep fried oreos. A date doesn’t always need to be about going somewhere or spending money! Sometimes I enjoy a quiet evening at home where I get to pick the movie to watch (which by the way we save on because we borrow them from the library!) He and our children like to watch movies based in space. I don’t necessarily choose “chic flicks” but choose from a list we keep when we see previews. Tonight I actually picked a movie that my husband wanted to see.
I liked the idea about assigning an alphabet letter to the date night! My husband hasn’t fixed his apple fritters for me in a while! 🙂
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