What Every Son Should Know How to Do Before He leaves Home
Hey, I just had my oldest son change the oil on the car and I was thinking…I bet we could come up with a list of things every son should know how to do before he leaves home. So let’s make a list and post it here.
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My youngest son Elijah(14) helped me change the thermostat in the car a few weeks ago. Inexpensive part that can stop your vehicle in its tracks.
I write a blog post on this recently, and the list got pretty long! There are just some things that fathers should teach their sons.
http://boldandgentle.blogspot.com/2009/07/what-fathers-should-teach-their-sons.html
Todd,
Thanks for the “Dad-Up” encouraging words—I’ll try to do more of it since like you “I’m a pretty good Dad – except when I’m NOT!”
How about “un-clogging/cleaning a toilet” for that list? My 3 yr “oldest” son may be little young yet as he’s just now learning to use it, but I’ll put it on his future “to-do” list.
Blessings,
Alan K in Ocala, FL
(Husband of an “Excellent wife” and Dad to 6 + 1 on-the-way in May!)
docforpets@yahoo.com
While I agree that sons should know how to do these things, don’t forget the daughters. I think it’s essential that they know how to do a lot of these things so they don’t feel the need to always call someone to do it. Things like changing a tire should be in there once old enough, and changing out lights and fuses. There are a lot of other things, but I intend to make sure my daughter can do a lot of this.
How about our Daughters too? My 6- and 8-year old girls are just as interested in Dad’s old truck and motorcycle as their male friends.
Every young man should be prepared to be priest, protector and provider. He should know how and when to defend, how to lead courageously, and he should own his own business, from puberty on. My son (12) owns a lawn business. He saved $500 this summer. In his last two years of high school, he will first apprentice with me (Junior year) budgeting and paying all the household bills, then in his Senior year will be totally responsible for maintaining (not earning) the family finances, purchasing, paying recording.
We need to say it Dads, Laundry, Dishes, and at least the basics on cooking. Mom will not always be available to do these things. (besides it looks good to the prospective future MRS.
I think ALL kids need to know how to operate the washing machine. Their friends and college professors can put up with wrinkles in the clothes, but they need to be clean!! It also takes a burden off all the Moms out there, when they can count on the kids helping with laundry.
This may not be for everyone but something I did with my boys was I bought them each a car when they were 15. I let them chose what type but I bought the car. Well, just for the record, the cars were in need of different amounts of healing :). So I also bought them books on the car, like a Chiltons. I gave them a list of the problems that needed to be fixed and said that it does not come out the garage until my list is complete. So if they would rather put $200.00 in a radio than in brakes, so be it but they listen to it in the garage. I also told them that if they wanted it, I would help, their choice. Both choose help:) It was a fun time with both boys and they continue to do minor things to there cars. Please understand I am not a mechanic but I did things with my Dad and my hope is that my Grandsons will do it with their Dads
One important thing I wished someone would have taught me, saving money. Not scroogin, but learning saving and investment. Cooking helps too. I’m a VERY good cook, pass that along. I am self taught, but it is an easy thing to teach someone else. I have 2 girls and the oldest(only 3 years old) can already help me make mac and chesse and cookies. At least it’s the important things. Also, a Dad should buy their children their first car. A “Beater” that needs a lot of work and get them a Chiltons manual and their time. A car will be more valuable if they are invested in it in time, energy, money and love.
Safe and accurate use firearms, change tires, perform maintenance on car, cook, use a grill, laundry, scout level first aid
In my case, my son will need to know how to call the handyman who can fix all those things. 🙂
Everything.
He needs to know everything you know. Just try it. The Dads in our family have been blessing their sons for generations with this attitude. It really is not so hard because we have forgotten some things, and in other things we have discovered we don’t know so much. So don’t bother with the list. Just spend every moment you can teaching something you know. And you just might raise up a son that can seek and learn for himself!
Fix a leaky faucet. Repair a leaky drain. Change oil, tire, bulb, battery on a car. Cook, laundry. Use tools (saws (power and manual), sanders, drills, grinders). Make and put up a basic shelf (always need more storage). Repair a bicycle. Cut down a tree.
Put up Christmas lights, set mouse traps, starting fires (in fireplaces and fire pits), lift heavy objects, and use of basic tools (hammer, drill, saw, etc.)
Have a basic automobile maintenance manual for each vehicle you own and have your sons do what they can do including replacing disc brake pads and rotors. I use a model of 1) they help me do it, 2) I help them do it, 3) they do it.
My 15 year old son and I just changed the water pump, thermostat, and serpentine belt on the car today. I couldn’t have done it without him!
Sons need to learn how to start a fire, a camp fire that is. Without the lighter logs, gasoline, easy start coals etc. He needs to learn that the fire: needs to be started with rolled up newspaper or leaves; needs oxygen, needs dry wood, not rotten wood; needs small twigs for kindling to get the fire hot. How to add on increasingly larger logs as the fire gets burning. How many men really know how to do this?
Now go on ahead and Dad-UP! Yeee Haaaa!
1. Know how to be forgiving.
2. Know how to be forgiven.
3. Know how to respect.
OK, You asked what I believe, and as a Gulf War Vet, I believe every young man should know how to handle a gun, and know how to do it properly and safely. It is our right under the constitution, and I believe it is the right thing to do.
How a lady should be treated.
How to open a door for his mother, sister, and others. He/she should also know how to skin a squirrel, deer, or other critter, and how to safely handle a weapon (I’m Air Force Retired). He should also know how to use a compass and topo map. It may save his life someday. Let’s do it dads. Let’s teach them what they need to know and what we wish we would have known.
Change the comode seat. Somebody has to do it.
Tell them that loving God and people is WAY more important than whether or not you can drop a new engine in the Mustang. Tell your boys that they can be interested in theater and not be gay. Tell your girls they are beautiful and deserve to ALWAYS be treated like a lady and should ALWAYS act like one.
They need to know how to rightly divide the Word of Truth. It’s not a one-time lesson, but the development of an attitude of humility and trust in God.
As for manly skill, Popular Mechanics has a list of 100 skills every man should know, which was pretty cool http://www.popularmechanics.com/home_journal/how_to/4284709.html . As I read it, I checked off all the skills as to whether I could do them and whether my grown son could do them, and I really wished I had seen the list before he grew up. We still have learning times and do projects together when we have time. He’s getting ready to buy his own house, so the learning will amp up soon.
Also, they need to know how to DAD UP!
They need to know (through example, Dads) what it means to love their wives like Christ loves the church. They need to know God’s law of priority in marriage; that their relationship with God is ALWAYS the number one priority, and their relationship with their spouse is ALWAYS next. God has designed the marriage relationship to be at that level of priority at all times.
A boy needs to see in his dad that the Lord is first in every thing (including the finances :)). He needs to see that God comes before sports (though sports are great). He needs to see that God comes before leisure.
He needs to see that God comes before any other relationships we may have. He needs to know how to love and treat his wife & children.
A father should teach his kids that it’s wonderful to praise the Lord in voice and instrument.
A father should show his son how to hold a hockey stick (yes, I’m Canadian, eh?), throw a football, and hit a baseball. And knowing how to change a tire, do an oil change, change the brakes, and jerry rig just about anything doesn’t hurt either.
They should know how to speak (even preach or sing) and pray in front of people. They should learn how to ask questions and answer them in the body of believers. In learning these things and others, by seeing their dad doing them, they will learn to be the spiritual leaders in their homes. They should learn how to not only “dad up” but “husband up” and be a man. Lastly they should learn how to do math, read, and “splel”.
Balance a check book.
Cooking, Sewing, Laundry, Cleaning (Person, Home and Car) and Research. I started teaching the “kids” (college age) in my Bible study how to do research on whatever. For instance: Buying a car here’s consumer reports and popular mechanics and don’t forget to talk with your trusted mechanic. There are websites and books out there that are great and ones that are full of bad information. So I have taught them to compare several things on the subject to learn what is right. The others are self evident but I have to tell you I am amazed at how many kids think perfumes and deoderants are the equal of showers and soap and Febreeze replaces laundry.
Read a tape measure; change a diaper; listen; do your work without being told (I’m still working on this one with my three sons. And two of them are 17… pray for them… and me.)
He needs to know how to get the last word in during an argument…YES DEAR He also need to know how to listen and give a hug when a hug is due.
My son (just turned 11) walks the dog on his own, takes the garbage and recycling the curb every Sunday night without being told and without being paid. Much more work to be done, however! Please send prayers our way!
He must know how to bag groceries. Matter of fact we need to send some of these kids back to school so they can learn how to do this. Non food items go in one bag, items for the fridge in another, and finally frozen foods in the last one. This makes it really easy for mom, or dad, when it comes time to put them away.
Rob – On bagging groceries it is not always the person’s fault who is doing the bagging but who is putting the stuff on the belt prior to it being scanned. If you do a little bit of organization your stuff will be bagged better.
He needs to know how and when to be on his knees.
He needs to know how to treat a woman.
He needs to know the Grace that God has for him.
He needs to know how to be a servant.
He needs to know you’re proud of him.
He needs to know the meaning and value of respect.
He needs to know and value truth.
He needs to know the value and importance of credibility.
He NEEDS to know that Jesus died for him, and would do it all over again…because of God’s immeasurable, unconditional and uncontainable love for him.
Those are things he MUST know…
Know how to pray with wife (future) every day.
And no, meal times do not count.
Okay, I know this is for dads, but I just have to share one funny story. My sister and her roommate had just moved into a new apartment and realized that the stove didn’t work. My sister knew that it was a gas stove so she called the maintenance man and he came and pulled out the stove, lit the pilot light and pushed the stove back in. Her roommate said, “Do we have to do that every time we use the stove?”!!!
My sister and I grew up on a farm so learing the basics of tools was helpful. My sister’s roommates were amazed that she knew how to use a hammer!!!
Teach your son to pray for his future spouse, the family raising his spouse, and to remember the 3 most important things in life. 1. Obey and Serve Jesus Christ 2. Remember he is precious in Dad, Mother, and God’s eyes. 3. Every one has a need.