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Raising Dorks – Jonathan Acuff

I was forwarded the following blog article written by Prodigal Jon. The guy has a point…a dad’s point. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

I don’t have any hard data on this, but I think that of all the major world religions, Christianity has the highest dork per capita ratio. Did I say that right? Is there a different metric we’re using to measure number of dorks that I should have referenced instead? Are we still rolling with the per capita ratio? It’s so hard to find good research on this topic.

But think about it, no one ever says, “You know who is cheesy? Muslims.” Rarely will you hear someone proclaim, “The Hindus are all uptight.” And when Buddhists are stereotyped they’re labeled as being “relaxed and peaceful.” Christianity though has a lockdown on dork status and you know what?

I love it.

I used to hate it. From the time I was in the seventh grade right up until I became 33 I railed against it. I did everything I could to prove to the world that I was not some cheesy Christian. I distanced myself from Christian culture as fast as I possibly could because it all felt so overwhelmingly dorky. But then something weird happened, something unexpected … my five year old tried to get into pop culture.

I’ve got nothing against the particular pop star my daughter suddenly became fascinated with but the transition from “I love the Wiggles” to “the Wiggles are for babies” was ridiculously fast. (In her defense, that Captain Feathersword who the Wiggles run with, scares me to death.) Up until that point I really hoped my daughter would grow up to be a cool kid. I wanted her to be part of the popular crowd at school and be considered hip. But when she started sweating pop stars and other little girls in our area started getting into teenage television shows, I had to pause.

Those things weren’t created for a 5 year old. The entertainment she wanted to watch was not written for a girl two years out of diapers. It’s got boyfriends and girlfriends and topics that are way out of her understanding as a little kid. And she might love it. She might sing all the songs and have a blast doing it and fit right in with all her friends. But if I encourage her to do that, if I push her toward that, I fast forward her through childhood. I speed her up from a 5 year to a 10 year old. And although I make about 47 dad mistakes a day, I have learned one secret about childhood:

You can fast forward childhood, but you can’t rewind it.

I wish I could but I can’t. Childhood only goes one direction and I want her to stay a little kid for as long as she can. There will be plenty of time later for her to think boys are cute and interesting. (Right now I’m pushing for “smelly and cootie laden.”)

Until then though, she’s not going to be hip. I’m going to raise a dork. Which is different from naive, don’t misunderstand, she’s going to be like Matthew 10:16, shrewd as a snake and innocent as a dove. And if you’re making different decisions with your kids, please don’t hear this as an attack. I’m new to being a dad, am by no means a pro, don’t have all the answers and am really only writing about the two kids with my last name. Who will be dorks.

I hope I don’t help create one of these sheltered Christian girls that just goes insane when they get to college, but I promise you that I’m going to do everything I can to keep my kids young, out of the loop as far as the world goes and maybe even dorky. And when my oldest daughter yells at me when she’s 13 because she can’t go to a party with a bunch of boys, who I know are going to try to kiss her, I’ll show her this post. And she’s going to yell some more, but at least I’ll kind of look like I predicted the future, which is fun.

Taken from Prodigal Jon’s website.

This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. A well written article – although personally we take it a step further to say ‘no pop music’.
    Everytime I think I’d like my kids to be ‘cool’ or ‘hip’ according to the world’s standards (and from time to time that thought enters my mind), I stop and remember what the end results could be. It’s scary. Dads, lets remember to be who God has called us to be – men who will lead our families according to His Word. Let’s be the ones standing in the gap for our wives, children, and someday grandchildren. If we don’t do it, who will?

  2. My son has been a teen for two years. My daughter is about to join the ranks in a month or two. I have found that they are both Christian NERDs (Never Ending Radical Dude/Dudette). The coolest part is that they understand that the way to impact people’s lives is to bless them through how you live and what you do. Because they lift and encourage their friends, they are hip and cool, and those who love the trends and follow the bands are drawn to hang out with these two teens. It is really impressive to watch two kids who have learned to live these lessons better then their dad does. So have hope, dads. Even when you make mistakes, you aren’t the only one who can learn from them.

  3. I have struggled with this for a while. We have five boys, the oldest is 15 and I worry often that he will get to be a young adult and he will be totally out of place because he won’t have experienced some of the same pop culture things as his peers. But then…I look at some of his peers now who are immersed in the culture and frankly, I am not too impressed with how they act or think, especially about the opposite gender. All this was swirling through my head when we went on a family vacation in August. While on vacation, we accidentally (providentially) met a woman and her husband who have kids in college now. We started talking about our concerns for our sons and her comment to my wife was, “Don’t be afraid to shelter them.” I know I don’t yet have all the answers, but more and more I am less afraid to shelter them and much more fierce about protecting them.

  4. Yes! Be fierce in protecting them and let them be the young Christians God wants them to be. We just married off our oldest daughter. She never dated. We taught them you don’t need to. Be friends, but you don’t need the emotional turmoil and distraction. I asked her to let me hold her heart, and I’d keep it safe until God showed all of us who she should give it to. She did, And He did. It was and still is a beautiful thing. She went to college locally, but she never dated, never kissed. Until her wedding day. Can you imagine… So YES it is possible. Dating, I’m convinced, is practice divorce! revolving, disposable relationships. And as I told her, do you want your future spouse out there trying out different women? of course not! I had to explain it to a few guys, but they left her alone when they realized she seriously wasn’t ever going to date. She even had a few girl friends who converted to the no dating lifestyle. And were much happier for it. Some are married now, also to great guys. So stand fast and resist the culture—and let’s take as many as we can with us! After all the TRUTH is in us!

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