Familyman Spotlight – David Lee (AKA – Nuclear Penguin)

*Name* – David Lee

*Age* – 39

*Location* – Mount Vernon, OH

*Years Married* – 16

*Number of Children* – 6 (#7 due in Feb – Praise God)

*Employment* – Mitel Networks – I design network (Telephone/VOIP) communications systems – http://www.mitel.com

*One thing I did right* – Read the scriptures every day (well,
almost) to my family and worship together daily. We also worship in church as a family. Along that same line is Homeschooling our children…oh, wait that is three things. Seriously though, I had always thought that being a dad was about not botching it.

I was focused on the basics like staying married to their mother, bringing home the bacon, and not being a scary tyrant. Those things are important, but God has a higher standard. His example for us as dads is how He treats us.

I have learned from the scriptures that a dad’s biggest job is discipleship. This puts fatherhood in a different light. No longer do I sweat the little stuff, like making sure they have the
latest toys or newest clothes, or get into the best colleges. In order to learn this I looked at the Biblical examples of discipleship.

These examples showed me that the way to disciple is to:
1. Be real – let your children (and your wife) see you fail, let them
see you apologize and confess your failures to them and God.
2. Don’t hide what God is doing in your life – talk about your
struggles (in an age appropriate way) and how God is making you more like himself.
3. Walk the walk – When your kids get up early and find you already up, what are you doing? Are you surfing the web looking at things you have no business looking at, or are you reading God’s Word – you must be a disciple of God in order to Disciple others. You can’t share what you don’t have. Also, pray for them every day.
4. Spend as much time as possible with your kids – this is really
basic, I am astonished that people need to hear this. Every minute that a child spends with you will change who they become (this is why we homeschool). Adjust your lifestyle and family choices with this priority in mind.
5. Authority matters – when you place a child under someones authority, they will not fail to be changed by it – another reason we homeschool, I don’t think God wants me to place my children under the authority of people who hate Him.
6. If you want corn…plant corn – I live across the street from a
farm. I noticed something that is always true. The farmer always
harvests what he planted. If he planted Soy Beans, he knows he will harvest Soybeans. If he planted corn, he knows he will harvest corn. Not once has he been surprised by finding a different crop than he expected when harvest time comes. He knows what it will be because he planted it. This applies to children. If you plant the world, you will reap sin, pain, and death. If you plant God’s word and a love and fear of Him, you will reap life and blessing for them and everyone around them. So if you do plant the world (public school, cable tv, Internet, bad character examples), then that is what you will get. If you plant
the crop you want (God’s word, Love, positive role models, character) you will reap it when it comes to harvest (adolescence and adulthood). I have even seen what happens when you plant two crops. I think of this when someone I know sends their children to public school and says to me, “I teach them the Bible too, I also make sure I talk with them about what they learn there”. Well it looks the same as when the farmer across the street plants soy beans but he was sloppy during last years harvest and he spilled corn all over his field. He has planted two
crops. The corn will grow up and keep the sun from the soy beans so it withers. But he can’t harvest the corn without ruining the beans and there is not enough good corn to pay for the fuel to harvest it. He can’t harvest the beans without ruining the corn. Unlike many Christian parents, he is not really surprised by this. He knows what happened. Two crops have been planted and the harvest is ruined. He (unlike us parents) can just be more careful next year, but we only have one shot to raise a child in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Yes, we are all sinners and children make their own choices, but when you see a young person rebel against God and their parents and leave the faith, it is not hard to tell what crop is being harvested. Yes, God has great mercy and will work in our children’s lives when we screw up. He is also the God of the harvest however, and will grow up the crop we plant.
I am sure God would find it strange if a farmer prayed to him for corn when he had planted beans. What crop are you planting in yourchildren’s lives? Is it the one you are asking God to give you?

*One thing I’d do differently* – I would not wait to have children (We have repented of this, but regret not trusting God). I used to live differently. I believed in God and did my best to serve Him, but my life bore out a different story. When asked what my life purpose was by watching me, others would say that the purpose of my life here was to be comfortable and happy. If you asked me, I would say that I was here to serve God. These two things did not match up. If you read the Bible, it is clear that we were created for God’s glory and pleasure. We exist for him, not for us. Out of His great love for us, he gives us many good gifts, but these are not why we are here. I realized one day that I had been making choices in my life in order to make me happy. This
included closing the womb because we thought we knew better than God when we should have a child (or how many). In our hearts, we thought that God would not come through for us in this area if we wholly trusted Him. So, we took this into our own hands. This was sin. I don’t speak for others here or condemn anyone. This is just what He did in our hearts. God is so good and has blessed us in spite of our sin, but I would spare others this pain and guilt if I could. After all, each person must work out his or her own salvation with fear and trembling. I would say to you, don’t look to our quasi-Christian culture to gain insight about this…look to God’s word.

*about the photo* – The picture is of our family in Durbin, WV. We rode the Durbin Rocket (the train topped out at a dizzying 8mph, but it was fun) on our mini-vacation to WV.