Top 10 Events for the Dad Olympics

How about a good match of “CHUBBY BUNNY”? Add one big size (not mini) marshmallow in your mouth and say, “Chubby Bunny”. Then add another big size marshmallow, and say “Chubby Bunny”. Keep adding marshmallows until you can’t add anymore and everyone rolls in laughter!!!!

Tim Barker
Lancaster, PA

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Here are a few Dad Olympic events that I came up with…call it the Dad Pentathlon

1. Baiting hooks while trying to fish with your own line…can you catch a fish while taking care of 5 kid’s bait issues
2. Tire changing…fastest time
3. Home Depot/Lowe’s shopping contest…fastest time to find 10 listed store items
4. Broken appliance race…how fast you can just get it working again; not perfect or professional — just working
5. Longest drive…there should always be a long drive for golf

Take care…love the weekly updates!!!

T.D.Roth

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How about carrying sleeping children up the stairs to bed? Contestants start with infants and move up (1yr old, 2yr old, etc.). Sleeping children must be quietly tucked into bed – any crying or waking up to ask for a drink of water will result in elimination (this includes if the dad begins to cry). Dads will continue with progressive ages until their legs give out or excessive heart rate causes them to stop breathing. Last man standing wins! (NOTE: I am the father of 7 children, 10 and under. I compete in this event every time we return from a family vacation or late night out. If you mess up and wake one, there is an awful rippling effect as tears beget tears from others – true agony of defeat. )

Craig Bitterling
Portland, TN

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These are all ones that my husband is a contender in at our house, some on a daily basis.

1. Family Bible Time. Must have at least 4 squirmy children to participate. Score depends on how many children are left downstairs and not sent to bed.
2. Smoochin’ the Mama. Scored by how many children screech, “EWWWWWW!” Also by how loudly they do so.
3. Pillow Fighting.
4. Back porch Varmint Shooting.
5. Multi-person Wrestling
6. Disgusting Superhero Naming Contest (preferably at the dinner table).
7. Poopy-diaper Changing Contest. Extra points awarded if subject needs a bath
8. Toddler Hunt
9. Letting Mom Sleep with No Disturbances. Extra points awarded for no movie or computer use.
10. Zip Line Riding (Can be particularly tricky when runway is designed for folk under 5 feet tall).
From Kendra (for Brian and the seven smaller Heaths)

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Dear Todd: We live out in the country now, but most of our lives we were in the suburbs or city environment. So here’s one for you:

It’s early in the morning. Dad should have taken the trash out last night but was too tired. He hears the garbage truck making its way down the street. How d=fast can this Dad get every garbage can dumped in most every room in the house, grab the kitchen garbage, trash bags etc., head out the back door, get the rest of the garbage cans and drag everything down the driveway and out to the curb before the garbage truck misses your house and you have to wait until next week (or put in all in the car and chase them down the street). So we could call this Olympic Garbage race–it’s a sprint, not a marathon; it requires split second thinking, quick reflexes, exceptional maneuverability, and blazing speed and agility and you miss knocking down toddlers, and leaping over excited dogs.

Have Fun.
Michael

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How about a pentathlon:

Assisting with homework
Cooking dinner
Changing diapers (2 kids in diapers)
Kid bathing (6 total…including the 2 in diapers…and 2 baths/showers)
Reading Bible passage (we read a chapter or 2 as their “bedtime story”)

Charlie Rettberg

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Top Ten Dads Olympic Events – Here’s a list

Remote control channel sprint – speaks for itself – extra prize if it can be done while your wife remains silent

Marathon chore avoidance – most days ignoring honey do list

Speed spanking – most swats in 3 seconds

Dad’s Pentathlon: 5 events
Refrigerator rummaging – ability to put together wholesome meal from leftovers, preferably with me
Snoring – winner displays greatest ability to rattle the walls, extra credit for plaster falling from ceiling
Changing Dirty Diapers – more points if cloth diapers, even more if they are your grandchildren
Long distance clothes hamper marksmanship – like a three point contest, who can get more of their dirty clothes where they belong
Washing the dishes – includes washing, rinsing, drying and putting away – extra credit for knowing where everything goes

Synchronized communication – where mom and dad tell the kids the same thing

Team HardBall – where mom and dad both tell the kids “NO”

Hammer Throw – sends dad to the penalty box if he does this after missing the nail

Steeplechase – where dads try to follow their kids on the public playground and play tag

Downhill Slalom – where dads try to go down the stairs around all the toys, books, clothes, shoes on the steps

Greco-Roman Wrestling – doing intercessory battle against the principalities and powers for your family, dads need to compete in the heavyweight division due to the size of the battles

~ Todd Kangas

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10. The toddler hurdles
9. The stomach flu all night marathon
8. Dirty diaper 3 point shot (don’t miss the trash can!)
7. Puking baby shot put to mom
6. Dirty laundry high dive
5. 400 meter lawn mower dash
4. Duck, Duck, Goose
3. Bike race with the little pull behind buggies
2. Ring Around the Rosey
1. Legos in the carpet long jump

Thanks,
Jared Hendricks

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Finding one of your 25 missing screwdrivers. This event has a bonus of being “green” because you can time it with a sundial.

~ Toby Rustin

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I do not have a full list of top ten Olympic events for dads to share with you, but one of them should definitely be alternator wrestling or wrench tossing (these two go hand in hand). Most dads have children (comes with the title) with them comes a really cool mini van. So I thing a mini-van race would be appropriate. Maybe a mini-van drag race category.

Thanks again for the encouragement.

Dave Mayfield

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Hey, Todd . . . How does the Leglifter 100 sound for a Dad Olympics event? (You know of what I speak.)

Gary in Florida

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Top Ten Olympic Events For Dads
10. Chevy Suburban parking at a crowded mall (with fogged up windows)
9. work a 12 hour day – get home and pick up the pieces (maintain the peace)
8. McDonalds drive through ordering for large families (while one kid is singing, another is indecisive, 2 are late for ________ and 6 cars are behind you honking their horns)
7. live like celebrities on a shoestring budget (try to not buy the _____________ for the cutest 4 year old you’ve ever seen)
6. baseball, soccer, rock climbing, piano, guitar, community theatre, youth group, kickboxing simultaneousness (Bob Costas’ favorite)
5. 1:30 am bill paying (concentration is a must for these athletes)
4. dress all the kids in the right things for church when mom is sick (church is in 15 minutes and the kids are still asleep)
3. wife appreciation (never a dry eye in the arena – except the wife’s)
2. 100 meter dash carrying 8 ice-cream cones through a crowded parking lot (one of the messier events)
1. stop light speed napping (a real crowd pleaser – only for true, highly trained athletes)

Jim Cessna — Official Familyman Top 10 Correspondent
Broomfield Colorado

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Dad Olympics

Event I would win a gold in is 3am puke pick up. My wife just can’t handle the stuff. She does the nice sensitive stuff like washing their face and holding them. I get the down and dirty job cleaning puke up off the floor and bed. That is definitely on the games list.

Thomas Herndon

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What about the clean jerk grocery pack? You know when the mini van has about 40 of those plastic bags of groceries and you weave about 10 bags on each hand, throw all your weight into and try to get to the kitchen before you drop something.
You the Dad Todd, keep up the good work

~ Beef