Top 10 Ways to Tell Your Husband You’re Pregnant…when You’re 58 years old.
Hey Dad,
This Mom needs our help. Here’s what she wrote: “I do not know how to tell my husband I am pregnant and I was just thinking I should ask you guys for help to tell him I got pregnant a month ago”. ~Jennifer (58)
So…I thought our advice should come in the form of a Top 10 Ways to tell your husband you’re pregnant…when you’re 58 years old.
This could be good… I mean helpful. So give it your best shot. Just post them below!
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Are you serious? You got an email from a 58 year old, asking how to tell her husband she’s pregnant? Isn’t that some sort of record? She doesn’t have to tell him. Just wait for the TV crews to show up to make a news story out of her.
Ummmm….honey, remember when I was having all of those hot flashes we thought was menopause? Well, I think you better look at the furnace…
“Dear, you know how you have always admired Abraham and Sarah……..”
1. Honey when were you planning on retiring?
2. Um about that vacation last month…
3. Just when you thought you quiver was about to be empty…
4. Who said 8 kids was too many?
5. Honey you may want to take the “for sale” sign of the minivan
6. For our fortieth anniversary it’s tradition to get Rubies well were getting something that rhymes with that 😉
7. Remember you were talking about how quiet the house had gotten?
8. We’ve alway said we wanted grand children well your parents are going to get another one
9. You know how I said I was getting fat… well it’s only temporary
10. Look on the bright side, now we can get a kids and an AARP menu as shoneys 🙂
What’s for dinner? Mint chocolate chip and a big kosher dill!
Honey, do you remember how I have not been feeling well lately? Well the doctor says that I have the Egyptian Flu. He said it’ll last for nine months and then I’ll become a Mummy.
“You ‘da Dad!”
Buy him Father of the Bride, part 2.
Dear, remember the Pastor talking about using our gifts. Well, I believe God gave you the gift of being a great father. Nothing in our lives is accidental or a mistake. Honey, God has given you another opportunity to use your gifts for him. Congratulations Dad!!
Let me tell you about this blessing we just received . . .
Let’s assume Jennifer already has three children and her husband’s name is Bob …
Have Bob stand up and say, “All you Dads with 3 kids take one step forward, Bob, not so fast!
Honey! You’ve still got it!
Hi Honey, the doctor says we’re going to have another uncle…
Honey, Do you remember how we thought we would be bored during retirement? Well, good news! Retirement is going to have A LOT of excitement!
Honey…Do you want to push the cart with the Diapers or the cart with the Depends.
Honey,
I’ve found you a housemate that you have a lot in common with. You both eat soft foods. You both wear diapers. You both drool. And you both will rely on me till I’m dead.
Honey…. If you can push the baby out by 1:00pm we can still get to the Post Office on time to pick up your Social Security check.
“Honey…Do Winnebagos come with infant seats?”
Eating out should be cheap. Senior menu for us, and kids eat free.
You know how they always say children keep you young….( from a 50 year old woman who’d love to have such great news to share with her hubbby. After all we only have 10 kids so far.)
Let me tell you a story… One day my wife asked me if I had had a dream. I said no & that ended the conversation. That nite I had a dream that she was great with child. The next day I told her about my dream & asked her if she was expecting. She shyly said yes & told me that she had asked God to give me a dream because she didn’t know how to tell me. Our youngest son was 8 years old. All I could say was “Wow”. So Justin, our 5th child, born in my 44th year is our Wow Baby.
Honey, I was thinking that we should take up a new hobby. Yeah you’re right, we’re to old for that. Better stick with a hobby we are already good at. Did I mention your going to be a Dad again? Oh I forgot to set out some ground beef for dinner.
Top Ten Ways To Tell Your Husband You’re Pregnant When You’re 58 Years Old
1. “When you’re done with Sunset Magazine,can you get the crib out of the attic?”
2. order 2 senior meals and a happy meal at McDonalds
3. trade his riding mower for a stroller
4. put all of his stuff from the office (Junior’s old room) in the garage
5. blindfold him and take him to a surprise LaMaze breathing class
6. Tell him that he can’t eat all the Gerbers you’ve been stockpiling
7. “Hey stud! Guess what…”
8. tell him he’s a really great grandfather but was a really good father before that and….you know…..it’s just…..well…..I’m Pregnant! – there I said it.
9. tell him you’ve got some shopping to do at Really Old New Parents R Us
10. meet him at the door wearing nothing but maternity panties and a nursing bra and let him come to his own conclusion
Hey Honey, Remember watching that game and a Viagra commercial came on and you said … and I thought to myself “Oh my Lord, not again after 30 years…” Well guess what happens thanks to Big Pharma and they’re miracle drugs? Do they list this as a side effect? Can we sue’em?
“Hey Hon, You have to check this site out. It’s called ‘top-10-ways-to-tell-your-husband-youre-pregnantwhen-youre-58-years-old’
You go ahead and start reading, I have to go potty… again!”
Honey, I’ve always admired the way you live by God’s Commands. I especially appreciate your willingness to obey His command to,“be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth”. So we’re going to obey God again and do some multiplication! Aren’t you happy Honey? Honey?
Do you really mean 48? I think 56 is the world’s record. She could say, Guinness call today honey, we’re in the book. Could you please pass the coffee, decaf, please.
God is soooo gracious and full of mercy. He also has a wonderful sense of humor. We got our gift before the ages of Abe & Sarah. He is always on time!
May I lead our Bible study tonight? I’ll read Genesis 15:1-6 then you read 17:1-8,15-19 and I’ll finish up with 18:1-5,9-14.
Finally, we’ll close with a meditation on Psalm 127:5 considering this question: is this a promise or a command? “Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them…”
all the Genesis verses are listed here, btw….http://www.dltk-bible.com/kjv/genesis_15.htm
Hey all you slugs….
How about some excitement . love compassion.
God has a plan?
What great new’s!
{If he’s any kind of Man}
Honey, remember how the pastor asked us all to pray about contributing to the growth of our church? We’re personally involved. 🙂
Most of the comments are clever, but in the event she wants something a bit more serious, I would suggest an approach that is direct and God centered:
“I need your help. Most importantly, I need your support and understanding. I don’t really understand God’s plan here, but apparently he intends to bless us with a(another) child. We’re pregnant.”
Honey, you didn’t really want to be alone during our retirement, did you?
Honey do you you know how much a breast enhancement costs?… Well this one is only temporary and will take about 18 years to pay off!
Honey,
Remember how we discussed our mistakes raising the kids and how we would have changed a few things? God gave us the chance to get it right!
You want have to complain that your children want let you spend any QT with their children
Honey, guess what, we are going to get an extra $300 in tax rebates this year! Let him figure it out from there 😉
Leave the positive pregnancy test on the bathroom sink & pray, pray, pray… (I had my 7th at 46).
Take a stuffed toy rabbit and hang it from the neck on the front porch and put out a sign “The Rabbit DIED!”
Thank you for planting your seed.
Just say “You know I always dreamed of a shot-gun wedding … so lets renew our vows now before the baby comes …”
roses are red,violets are blue, the class of 2026 will soon have special meaning to you..
Honey, remember how you complained about not having any tax deductions? Well, say hello to a child tax credit!
If you have other kids… buy the youngest a white tee shirt and write with a sharpie “I’m Going TO Be A Big Brother/Sister!!” then have him wear to do something special with dad! It worked for me… (Of course I am only 28 and it was our 6th child)
Those pregnancy tests look an awful lot like a USB flash drive. Slip one into his computer drawer, and when he tries to insert it into the computer, he can flip it over to read the note that says “I’ll bet you were so surprised to find that I had switched your USB flash drive with a pregnancy test!”
How’d all this turn out??
Presuming that they already have had family: Honey, I have some good news and some interesting news! The good news is, someone in the family is expecting! The interesting news is, it isn’t one of the kids!
Okay guys, this lady asked for help not to be made to feel worse. I have read through great suggestions, but also unkind, sarcastic, insensitive remarks that could only burden her more. She came for your help not to be cut down. She really put herself out there hoping to get some encouragement in how to handle something that has taken her by surprise as much as it will her husband. God blessed them with this baby for a divine reason and chose them to be the parents. 🙂
Well, that put an end to it, didn’t it?! In all fairness, Todd’s Top 10 are always, funny, no?? So I think people were just continuing the tradition… and funny it was!! Todd – any word?? 🙂
“Honey, I have some really important news that I just don’t know how to express to you. I found a link on the web that says it much better than I could” Direct husband to this web page.
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Congrats!!!! to you.I an a 25 year old woman.Don’t worry about your age. Just hold his hand and kiss his lips and Say God knows we are good people and trusts us with his gift.Honey we’re going to have a baby.Take good care of yourself and baby.
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I like the funny comments.. I think if you’re having a baby at age 58, you’d better have a sense of humor! I think I would have my husband go for a stress test to make sure his heart is okay before I tell him! I actually like the idea of letting God tell him in a dream!
I think Angela said it best, along with something along the line of trusting in the Lord’s plans. 2nd choice is Jeanne’s suggestion.
I think Angela said it best, along with something along the line of trusting in the Lord’s plans. 2nd choice is Jeanne’s suggestion.
Oh, by the way….what did she have???
Whatever you do, make sure you give him time to mull it over before you ask him for a response. It might sound silly or even callous to blurt it out and then leave the room (or the house for that matter), but he needs some space to consider what you’ve said. I always find it unfair that a) women often ruminate forever about something and then expect a man to have an immediately positive reaction and b) some women don’t trust that men can handle life. So give him the opportunity to amaze you.