Top 10 Ways to Prepare for the Flu Season
- Proper hand gear — latex gloves or a hazmat suit
- Proper Footgear — surgical booties, muck boots, or hip waders
- Proper breathing gear — Industrial gas mask or shoot a squirt of air freshener up each nostril followed by a big cork or clothes pin
- Install plastic on all pathways from beds to the bathroom. Better yet, remove all the carpet in the house.
- Do not let them eat red Jell-O, spaghetti, or anything with garlic butter during the months of October through March. You’ll also find that feeding them only toast and water sure makes cleanup easier.
- Leave all the lights on at night—kids seem to throw-up only when it’s dark.
- Place a small 10-gallon trashcan next to each child’s bed or better yet, move all children’s beds into the bathroom.
- Train yourself to sleep through anything thereby assuring that you’ll never have to clean up the mess.
- Have throw-up drills every night for a week during the first week of October.
- Install an early-upset stomach detector in every child’s bedroom — don’t forget to check the batteries every other month.
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My good friend once told me, “Rich, parenting is a earthy thing.” He was right. My older kids take a gallon ice cream pail to bed with them when they feel queasy, but the younger ones…ouch! Thanks for reminding me I need to get my Little Green Machine repaired.
Those ways to be prepared for flu season were amusing. However, the BEST way is to avoid it entirely or, at least bring it to a minimum by building the immune system up. It’s not hard at all, if you know how. Let me know if you want more info. Healthy blessings, Melanie
happy2bhealthy@hughes.net
Ohhhh. Chocolate milk is the worst. The smell…the consistency. Not good. I am dreading Flu season.
Another option for the hand gear, related to the “PLAY BALL” message: catcher’s mitt made out of Clorox wipes.
Bodily fluids are all part of God’s plan. He delights in our bare feet stepping in the slimy, stinky stuff so we can just catch a glimpse of the slimy, stinky stuff we have caused Him. I bet it makes Him giggle just a little bit.
Our house was all wood flooring when we first got it (not hard wood, but that snap-together pergo-like stuff). Cleans up in a snap!
I remember one night my oldest got the entire length of the hallways splattered. Fun night that was!
I have learned that when my two youngest throw up, they usually have strep, not a stomach bug. I never knew strep caused that, but it’s something to watch for. The staff at our Dr’s office get this look of pity when I come dragging in with all four darlings for strep cultures…then they get out the earplugs in case the little ones need a shot!
One of my proudest moments was when my 8 yr old told me one time in church that his tummy felt funny and we were blessed with the timing to just barely make it out of the sanctuary, into the bathroom, into the stall and hit the target!!! YESsss! I felt like we won the Gold in the Family Olympics that day. I still praise him for that today, sad but true.
Just spent about a half hour cleaning up the car and the car seat from…well, you know…! Wow – there sure are a lot of nooks and crannies and stuff to take apart! Hope I can get it put back together!!! Sure glad Jesus cleans up our messes (much worse!).
Ah, memories. Reading this took me back a ways. We were riding in the minivan, with my son in the seat behind my husband. Since he was feeling queasy, I had him put his winter coat (water-resistant) in his lap, just in case. When he started to “urpie,” I quickly (& mom-instinctively) reached back with an empty large McD’s cup to catch it. I got a lot of it, but most of the rest went up my coat sleeve. Even though both coats where a mess (& I needed some counseling ;-)), that one was pretty easy to clean. Then there was the OTHER time…
Whenever my son is going to throw up, he starts his “puke cough” (can I say puke here?). We rush him to the bathroom, or quickly empty the garbage can next to the bed. When he was really little he didn’t give me time to act so quickly. I would usually be wearing more than pj’s. And it is true, kids seem to only throw up when it’s dark. Haven’t stepped in any yet, but have worn plenty. The worst was when I brought him into the doctor for an ear infection and ended up throwing up in the doctors office myself. Not one of my most graceful moments.
Our daughter has a sensitive tummy and is lactose intolerant. She spent much of her 1 year old year with frequent vomiting. One time I left a grocery store, and she suddenly didn’t feel well. She leaned over and gagged, adn I cupped my hands to “catch it”…another time she fell off a chair right as we finished eating at a buffet for lunch. The fall knocked the breath out of her, she had a panic attack, and promptly vomited her entire lunch all over herself, the restaurant, and my husband. AS he left the restaurant with her, they left a trail. I had to leave a huge tip! Why didn’t I take her out? I was 3 months pregnant and very easy to have all day sickness…the littlest thing would make me sick…so Daddy made the sacrifice, or our tip would have had to be even larger! LOL!