Top 10 Things Not to Say on a Christmas Date

1. Here, why don’t you sit on this side of the table so I can see the TV.

2. I’d like to know what the fat grams are on what YOU just ordered.

3. Would you believe this is the same place I brought my old girl fiend on our very first date?

4. How about for fun we see how low we can keep the bill?

5. I sure hope the kids know not to play with my shotgun while we’re gone.

6. Boy, this fettuccini stuff sure gives me gas.

7. I suppose you want to talk about our ‘feelings’ or something like that now.

8. The Bulls are playing tonight so hopefully this won’t take long.

9. I guess this is as good of time as any to bring it up, but if you die, how long do you think I should wait to remarry?

10. Mind if we go Dutch?