Top 10 Ways to Know You’re Sunburned
Let’s make a Top 10 list together.
I’ll start –
1. You know you’re sunburned when you stick your head out of your car’s sunroof and the car in front of you pulls over.
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When you get out of the shower and you goto brush what little hair you have left, instantly realizing the top of your head is sunburt as you scream in pain. I never had this problem a few years ago 🙂
Your lawn chair looks like it’s been shrink-wrapped in skin when you get up to turn the burgers.
When your 6 year old jumps on your back, grabs your sunburnt shoulders, and you scream in pain and Ninja flip him over without realizing you did it.
When you stab your own arm with a knife while trying to eat your surf&turf you did for 4th of July.
You know you’re sunburned when you are complimented on your patriotic attire while wearing your blue jeans and a white t-shirt.
When you actually WANT your mom or sisters to rub that aloe vera slime all over you!
You know you’re sunburned when the top of your feet look like a checkerboard when you take off your sandals.
When your skin peels off in sheets. I’ve not done that since I was a teenager and won’t do it again.
You know your sunburned when your kids think your a tomato and cut you up for taco’s
You know your sunburned when your kids think your a tomato and cut you up for taco’s
You know you’re sunburned when the kids squirt you with the hose and you steam!
You know your sunburned when you walk past a restaurant and people squirt you with lemon & butter…
You know you’re sunburned when you have to tell the ever growing group of kids that you’re NOT Bob the Tomato!
Kids ask “Can you be our night light tonight?”
You know you’re sunburned when someone says it looks like Rudolph’s red nose has spread over his whole body.
This just in from a dad…
Hey Family Man,
I got a unique sunburn this July 4th. In the morning while my 11 year old son was watching his morning TV and my 17 year old son was sleeping in as usual, I went out to the garden to do the weeding. I have learned over the years to work smarter, not harder. So the plant the rows about three to four feet apart and then I just go through with the roto tiller. Well after I do this, I usually pay the boys to get the weeds next to the plants, but I felt ambitious this time. So I decided to get the hoe and do it myself. It was a beautiful sunny day, so I would do two rows and then sit down in a chair and relax and drink some water. It took me about one hour, but I got the mission accomplished. Later that afternoon, I noticed that I felt a little uncomfortable at about my waistline on my back. I thought maybe I had abraded that area while weeding, so I went up stairs and checked out the area where the “sun don’t shine” in the mirror. Well, looking back at me in the mirror was a bright red “horizontal” smilely
face just above the white “vertical” smilely face. I thought…what could a call this… a farmer’s sunburn…. No….. it’s a plumber’s sunburn…
~ SS
Not a pretty picture. 🙂
Blinking hurts
When you get cast as the lobster on Sponge Bob.
Your dream, as you lie stuck to the sheets with aloe, is about taking an ice water bath.
This probably does not count. I turned 44 on July 4th. As a kid we went to the beach and my mother loaded our bodies with Baby Oil. Now my wife makes me use NO-AD 50spf.
the guys at the hot-rod shop ask you to stand next to the 57 Chevy to see how fire engine red would look
When one of the neighbor girls asks your daughter “Why is your dad hot pink?”
You put a forehead thermometer on your your sunburn and it catches on fire.
when you walk into the room and your wife says “the temperature went up, turn on the A/C.”
When you wake up in the morning beside yourself.
When you take off your shirt someone grabs a fire extinguisher and hoses you down.
When you dry what appears to be the little sweat beads off your shoulders and realize the skin is coming off with the blisters…
You know you’re sunburned when you kids have a contest to see who’s handprint stays on you the longest.
You know you’re sunburned when the guys at work walk by your cubicle singing the Oscar Myer song.
When your pastor tells you he doesn’t think that’s what God meant when he said “Well done, good and faithful servant”
You know you are sunburnt when people mistake your tan line for a tattoo of the indonesian flag
You know you are sunburned when you feel like you are glowing in the dark.
You know you’re sunburned when you’re standing next to the lobster tank at Red Lobster and the manager is coming at you with a set of tongs.