The Missing Wedding Ring
I need some input: husbands and wedding bands (as in ring not marching). I’ve noticed some husbands don’t wear wedding rings. It bugs me. How do you as wives feel about that? Are you married to one of those guys? What do you think? Is it a no big deal thing or is it? I’d like to hear your opinion.
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Depends on the situation. For example, construction workers regularly don’t wear items like rings because they could catch on something and rip off their finger or cause other permanent damage. I’d also say that this is a Western culture thing. If they’re doing it to be intentionally deceptive, that’s one thing and I’d agree that it’s not quite right. If it’s for some other reason that doesn’t involve trying to appear single, I don’t have as much of a problem.
I’m married to a man who never takes off his ring. That’s just how he’s always been. After about 12 years of marriage, I can say it’s important to me.
A friend who never wore his wedding band complained that it cut off his circulation.
His wife, who was present, stated: It’s supposed to.
He had it re-sized and on his hand the next day.
In 17 years of marriage mine has only come off for one international trip that they told us not to wear any jewelry. I came back with a sunburn where my ring had been followed by some kind of a reaction and couldn’t wear it for three weeks after I returned. Hasn’t come off since except when my daughters want to look at the inscription inside. Ruth 1:16-17.
Used to do lathe work and if I had any rings at that time they came off for safety.
My wife and I chose not to wear jewelry. We believe by our deportment and our behavior, it will be apparent that we are married. After 10 years of marriage, and 4 pregnancies, neither my wife or I have been looked at or treated as if we were ‘available’.
Rings are intended to be warn except for job/safety issues or if the couple agrees to some other arrangement.
I wear mine all the time. My issue is that my wife has not worn hers since child #1 was born (that was over 8 years ago). Says she is “waiting to lose some weight first”. Same issue for the mothers ring that she has.
I would gladly pay to get in re-sized, even multiple times. I trust her completely so that is not the issue. I just wish she would wear it.
My husband cannot wear his wedding ring at work (even in the parking lot!) for safety reasons. But when he is not at work, I would like him to wear it. But he works 5-6 days out of 7 and gets home late at night. I find it silly of me to ask him to put it on when he gets home because he has to take it off at 5am the next day. He wears it on the weekends and when we are on vacation.
I am fine with that 🙂
My wife usually doesn’t wear her wedding ring, while I never take mine off. She usually doesn’t wear any jewelry, and she just forgets to put it on.
My husband does physical work and is left handed. He wears his ring on his right hand rather than on his dominant left because he finds it difficult to do his work with it on his left hand. To me this is better than not wearing it all. The first several years we were married he rarely wore it all. He put it on without me asking him to, however, and that makes it more special to me that he wears it.
My husband tries to never take his wedding ring off. It is a visible sign that he is “bonded.” It is a good reminder to those around him that he is married and is a wonderful symbol of love.
My husband didn’t wear his ring for probably the 1st 10 years of our marriage. It was because of work or so he told himself. Then we worked through some tough stuff together & for years it hasn’t come off. That was his own decision-it really had never bothered me before. However it does goes to show there was no validity to the work hazzard theory because he still has the same job!
My husband and I always wear our wedding rings. However,we have noticed that many today do not wear theirs. This is sad to me. Also my parents have had many arguments over my father not wearing his. I understand those that can’t wear a wedding ring on their jobs, however that is not the reason why my father doesn’t. It hurts my mother deeply.
I am always touched when my husband wears his wedding ring to church and on Sundays. Because we farm, it would be dangerous to wear during the week. But, it brings back memories to see him put it on. I have had mine resized after my 3rd pregnancy, and hated having it gone for a week. There isn’t a time I look at it without a memory in my mind!
My husband does not wear his ring. (Shhh! It got really uncomfortable after he gained some weight!)At first it bothered me a little; but given my husband’s personality,I got use to it very quickly. My husband is an introvert and prefers being home; he is VERY faithful and trustworthy. If he was more extroverted or flirty, I would probably desire more that he wear his ring. That said, in my deepest girly heart…it makes me feel more loved and cherished when he has it on. Being that our 18th anniversary is in a few weeks, maybe I ought to go get it resized! (I’m not sure how joyful he’d be about that now that he hasn’t worn it in a few years!)But I am not offended by his not wearing it.
Thanks for upholding the family and encouraging our men!
My husband used to wear his ring all the time until he developed a lump on his finger and he took his ring off because it was painful. He hasn’t worn it since. I do wish he could wear it, but I understand that he can’t.
My husband finds a ring uncomfortable. Were we not married, he’d not have a ring at all. We chose a comfortable band so that when he does wear it he is more comfortable. I prefer he wear it, but after 17 years I know my husband well enough to understand when he does not.
My husband lost his years ago. Right after he lost it he got a new job on the railroad where he couldn’t wear it. He’s not working for the railroad anymore but now we can’t afford to purchase a new one…gold is too high! I would like for him to wear it but don’t really think about it anymore.
Legislating dos and don’ts is never a good idea, but since you asked how we feel about it, I’ll say It means a lot to me that my husband wears his. I am trying to wrap my brain around how exactly a properly fitting ring with no projections can be dangerous…I can think of only a very, very few real possibilities and think this is likely more a matter of want to. Which is fine…no legalism here either way, but just be honest about it. The marriage will be healthier for it.
My husband wore his when we were first married. Then, he became an electrician and he couldn’t wear it at work, for safety reasons. It is highly conductive and could snag when squeezing his hand into tight spaces. With all the wire-twisting, his knuckles and fingers got bigger so it no longer fit. He kept it on his keyring but it was eventually lost. We have considered buying a new one. However, it has not been a priority. He never wears jewelry, not even a watch. It’s safer that way.
What really matters to me is that my husband is faithful and that he is growing Christ. Those have nothing to do with a ring.
My husband lost his ring shortly after we got married. He is in the construction trade so he didnt wear it to work. Also his ring finger has some scar tissue that makes rings fit improperly. He recently bought a new wedding ring on his own and wears it on when he remembers to. It has never really been an issue. We’ve been married 28 years.
Mine wore his and had an accident at work that thankfully only mangled the ring and not his finger. It was never comfortable after that. He took it off to do a job one day and lost it. Whenever we have had the resources to purchase a new one, I have wanted to. He says he doesn’t care and so we haven’t. I thought our rings were important. I don’t mind if he leaves it home while not at work but want him to wear it elsewhere. It’s a little disturbing to see just how many people don’t care. We exchanged those rings along with our vows of marriage and they do symbolize something important.
My husband lost weight and has not been wearing it for the time being. It is a family ring and he lost it in the yard recently but one of our daughters found it. We promptly rewarded her as he thought he had lost it on a family trip.
My parents have been married for 59 years and they never had a double ring ceremony. My mom’s ring is the original and is very worn and thin. She doesn’t want a new ring. Dad hasn’t had a ring at all but after 59 years I’d say they are not going anywhere but with each other.
My husband’s wedding band had begun to feel a bit tight. I wrenched it off his finger one day because it was pinching so bad. We checked into getting it replaced or fixed, but didn’t really have the money to do it at the time. It bothered him so much, we finally bought a cheapy at Walmart. And he picked out the thickest band so everyone would be sure to notice it. That meant a lot to me. He was telling me he’s proud to be my husband and wants everyone to know it.
My husband has not worn his ring in years. Being a carpenter in commercial construction it is dangerous. He knows several people who have almost lost fingers because their ring caught on something or the finger was injured and the ring had to be cut of to restore circulation. The dangers are very real.
A ring on his finger is not going to change who he is or the intentions of his heart.
It’s funny that this should be your topic this week. We are having “renewal” services at the church we attend this week and the evangelist doesn’t wear a ring. It made my husband and I stumble a little over that. When we got married, Todd (his middle name is Wilson…for real) couldn’t wait to wear his ring. It was the first piece of jewelery he had ever worn, and for the past 18 years has been the only piece of jewelery he’s ever worn. I like that he wants the world to know that he’s a husband. I want him to want the world to know that he’s a husband! But all that being said, there can be allergies that prevent the wearing of a ring. Also, my brother loads trucks and my dad told him when he got married not to wear his ring at work. Well, he didn’t listen and ended up suspended from the top of an 18-wheeler by…you guessed it…his wedding ring! He wears his ring all other times, just not at work. I’m pro-ring! Men should be identified as married.
My husband asked me when we got married if he could only wear the ring the first year. He hates jewelry. I would be offended if he wore a watch, a necklace and other jewelry without the wedding band. He has a bald head and I know he would gladly brand it with “I am married” if I asked him to. I have always trusted him and I know that he loves me. We have been married for 20 years.
My dad lost his ring thirty years ago, and they never replaced it. So that just seems normal for my parents. Then, when I was a newlywed, it used to bother me when my husband forgot his ring. Now that he’s working out with weights, he forgets it a lot in the mornings. After eight years of marriage, I’m finding that I don’t really mind. It’s funny how time changes things.
My husband is a welder, and company rules don’t permit any jewelry. It really bothered me when we were newlyweds. Generally, he doesn’t put it on when he’s “home” from working, because many times he’s out doing work very similar to his job. However, he knows it’s important to me to wear it to social functions, so when I put on my nice jewelry to indicate we’re going somewhere “special,” he’ll go put on his ring. 🙂
My husband wore his wedding band for a few years after we got married, however one night at work it got caught in the a machine and he almost lost his finger. He then tried to wear when he was not at work, but forgot to take it off sometimes. Now he just does not wear it. It did bother me at first but I still want him to come home with all his fingers.
My husband cannot wear his at work – he could easily lose his finger if it would catch on something. He tries very hard to remember to put it on when we leave the house, but sometimes he forgets (which is perfectly understandable).
Another idea: I will say that he had an older man he knew when we were first married who once told him the best pick up line with lose women is to have a wedding ring on. I have no idea if that is true or not. My husband didn’t really appreciate the advice. The other man must have thought he was sharing something good.
Also, my DH grew up in a very conservative denomination that does NOT wear jewelry. Some of them are married to women who are not members – so the wives wear their bands, and the husbands do not due to religious reasons.
I would say in many cases as stated above by others – my guess (although I may be wrong) is that the husband is like mine – working a job wear wearing a wedding band is a hazard to his safety. When those husbands are in public they either choose not to wear it or simply forget. 🙂 My husband wears his because he knows I appreciate it. What’s in his heart actually affects the behaviour that will reflect his commitment not the band on his hand.
Thanks for your posts!
My husband and I have been married for 15 years, and he never takes his ring off unless he’s using some type of yard equipment where it would be dangerous to do so. He gives it to me to hang on to, and when he’s finished, he puts it right back on. It’s very important to both of us to show the world that we’ve made a lifelong commitment to each other.
Our story is a little different than what you asked ……I do not wear a wedding ring and my husband does. I am allergic to all jewelery . I put a band on at the ceremony and had to take it off before the end of the reception . He likes to wear his and has never taken it off in 11 years of marriage . He has no problem with me not wearing one and I really don’t care either way about his. Marriage is so much more than a little ring . When I see others make a big deal out of such a small unimportant thing I am sad for them . My marriage has nothing to do with jewelery !
My husband can’t wear his ring because of his work, but he does make an effort to remember it for Sunday or when we have a date. I must admit, I don’t wear mine very much either…jewelry isn’t really my thing.
My husband has never been one of those guys who wears rings, necklaces or watches, even though he tried to when we first got married. He says that he is married in his heart & that is what matters. He also says he knows lots of men who wear wedding bands that cheat on their wives all the time. It doesn’t bother me that he isn’t wearing a ring, because he shows me all the time how much he loves me. He is also quick to let anyone else know that he is a happily married man!
I must say up front that neither of us are big jewelry people. Don’t get me wrong it was BIG to get an engagement ring and wedding ring but for example our class rings haven’t been worn since high school. My husband’s hand swells and he does carpentry work (there are real dangers…we know a guy with missing fingers due to a snag). Doesn’t bother me for him not to wear his. But maybe it has more to do with the “love languages” that we have and how secure we are in the ourselves and in the Lord. We have 8 kiddos, 2 grands and will be married 25 years this year…I must agree with Heather…the ring doesn’t change him or the intentions of one’s heart.
My dear lost his ring tied to his scrubs during surgery. I bought him a new one. He had a teen-patient get his finger torn off when his class ring got stuck in a door somehow. He doesn’t want to wear one now. (He also won’t let the kids have bunk beds.) I’ve been pregnant 7 times and mine never fits, due to my ever-changing finger size. We make sure we wear our rings for our family Christmas picture, though, and when we visit Mennonite/Amish country on vacation. Sometimes you just have to work with whats going on. PS: Who IS Perry Mason?
My husband & my father do not wear their wedding bands. Before retiring, my father was a pressman @ a print shop. He had many instances where his ring would get caught. He later lost 1 finger, not his ring finger, but pinky. Its been 6yrs now. My husband had times when his ring would catch on stuff. He has done construction years past, he has been a truck-driver now for 12 years & has a very heavy work load unloading heavy items. With my Dad’s past trajedy, my husband decided to stop wearing his ring, shortly after that trajedy. I have it. It disappointed me some, but he & I far prefer for his safety. We’ll celebrate our 20th in Oct. I sometimes leave the house w/o my ring, b/c I don’t wear my rings in the home. Sensitivity to soap, food prep, etc. I always feel disappointed if I forgot to put my ring on when going to an event, or such. The LORD knows what’s in the heart.
My husband not only wears his wedding band, he had one tattooed under his band so when can’t wear his band – due to his occupation – it is still there. I think THAT is awesome!!!
My darling used to wear his wedding ring, but now as an electrician’s apprentice he does not. I am totally okay with that, because over the last seventeen years he has won my complete trust and devotion by behavior that proves his character, so no worries here! I do wear a ring, but due to weight gain it is not a traditional wedding ring. When I gained weight during one of my pregnancies we went and got a $25 silver ring with a fake peridot in it, and I love it and still wear it to this day.
Bottom line is this: We both took an oath before the LORD when we got married that we take very seriously~more seriously than our marriage~LOL! Had the Bible commanded the wearing of the wedding ring, then we would certainly pray, study, and reconsider. smile
My husband teaches on a university campus. He is insistent on wearing his ring, especially to work due to the behaviors he has witnessed or had to deal with (its sad the precautions he has to take in his office when dealing with female students). That being said, if a man had a job the prevented it I wouldn’t object but would hope he’d wear it on the weekends or when out. Any other reason for not wearing it (other than medical) I’d be concerned there is a “heart” issue that needed to be dealt with.
I choose to not wear any form of jewelry and neither does my husband, therefore, no ring. It’s not a ring that keeps us bonded and it is our behaviour/speech that lets anyone who may be interested know that we are happily married 🙂 I couldn’t ask for a better husband.
As a military man and Naval Aviator, my husband chose to have an intentional ‘split’ professionally cut into his wedding band, as to avoid the safety issue. Yes, it may seem strange to others to see a ‘split’ wedding band, but for me, it was the symbol of his devotion and dedication to our marriage. He chose to wear his band split rather than be faced with the decision to leave it off his finger.He also wears it while he changes the oil, hangs siding, fillets fish, butchers deer…get the picture? I love that it’s all banged up and not too shiny! Our vows matter EVERYDAY and by wearing his ring everyday, he is showing me that our vows matter to him, too.
Hey Todd,
I really think wearing a wedding band is important. My hubby always wears his but had to take it off due to a huge blister (he is in construction) until it healed. Well it had been some time and I reminded him he had not put it on. He had just been forgetting. I asked him if he would mind if I didn’t wear my ring and let me tell you his ring was back on in a flash! I know he was not doing it on purpose but I was just trying to tell him how it made me feel that he forgot to put it back on once he healed. He said he would tatoo one on if I wanted (which is a big deal because he hates tatoos) and I told him no I just wanted him to understand where I was coming from. He is an awesome man of God and I was not worried about his intentions.
My husband always wears his ring. Mine, however, no longer fits due to 7 pregnancies in 8 years and 50 additional pounds to work off. I figure the line of children following me everywhere probably hints that I’m committed!
My husband is a police officer. He used to wear it and it kept getting caught on his gun so he stopped wearing it. I’d rather he came home because he was able to get to his gun quickly. However, when we go somewhere it is nice to see it on him.
My husband never took it off until he started working in a machine shop. Then he had to take it off for safety reasons. When he got a new job, he tried to put it back on, but it didn’t fit anymore. We’re been trying to get it resized, but money is always tight and it seems like when we do get a windfall, we usually don’t remember until our $ is gone. I do want him to wear it, and he does too, now it’s just a matter of getting it resized. I always wear mine, and now my fingers have swelled a bit, so I couldn’t take mine off even if I wanted to! (which I don’t)
It’s a work thing with my husband. They are not even allowed to wear them at work any more for fear of someone losing a finger in a machine. Early on we purchased a “manly” chain for him to wear and he puts the wedding band on that. He tries to remember to wear it on his finger when we are out, or on vacations and such.
My husband is in the military. They are allowed to wear their rings most of the time. He works in the aerial port, so he cannot wear it. When he is off work, he wears it and I feel special when we go out.
I did take off my ring once to see what it was like to not wear one. I felt awkward. Especially when other men looked at me as if I were single, even though I had 7 children with me! I’m proud to wear my ring and glad that my husband chooses to wear his when it is not a work safety issue.
My Dad never wore a wedding ring…ever. In fact, my parents didn’t even bother to purchase one for him because he was a farmer and wearing any type of jewelry could be extremely hazardous given the machinery involved. As it was, he almost lost his leg when the keys he was carrying in his pocket got caught in an auger. The risk just would not have been worth it.
Also, my mom now chooses not to wear her wedding ring either. She has developed an allergy to all metals (including gold) and gets painful sores wherever the metal touches her body for extended periods of time.
Both my husband and I started with wearing wedding bands and now neither one of us wear ours as they no longer fit us and the money is just not in the budget to have them re-sized. If they still fit though, we would both definitely be dedicated to wearing them.
I love when my hubby wears his ring. There are only a few times in our 12 years of marriage that he has taken it off. His work allows rings and it is a priority to him. I wear my rings all the time too. Although I don’t wear them to sleep, so there have been a few occassions when I forget to put them on in the morning. It just doesn’t feel right and I can’t wait to get home and put them on again.
For us, wearing rings is an outward sign that we are committed to each other and let’s everyone around know the same thing.
My husband chose to wear his wedding ring when he was an electrician, even when most of the other guys didn’t for safety reasons (or whatever). a lot of them went out to strip bars after work, but my husband declined declaring he was ‘happily married, thank you!’ Years later, here in Peru, he lost his ring when he was surfing. We didn’t replace it for another several years somewhat to my dismay (though everyone here wears their wedding ring on their right hand anyway… I wear a ring on both just to be clear!) Occasionally, I would remind him how proud he used to be of his public declaration of faithfulness… 🙂 I think he felt it secretly, but he didn’t seem to mind that he didn’t have one any more. I decided to buy him another one a couple of years back, I think he was glad. Oh, and he never takes that one off (except when he goes surfing ;).
I personally feel it is a sweet personal reminder as well as a public sign of faithfulness and I relish the fact that my husband is proud to advertise that he is ‘happily married!’
amy in peru
http://apilgrimsproject.blogspot.com
Because we chose to use wedding rings to symbolize our vows before God of lifetime commitment for each other, we wear them in my family! My Dad always wore his unless he was working in the shop, and my Mother went up three ring sizes over her years of marriage. She had swelling with a broken wrist and now arthritis in her knuckles, but has refused to remove her wedding ring…ever. As kids we thought it was rediculous she wouldn’t remove it for comfort or cut it off to have it resized…what’s the big deal, right? Well, as an adult I now realize what a visual lesson that was for us, symbolizing alongside their actions what was rarely put into words—you don’t cast your old spouse aside for a ‘better fit’. Marriage is for life. It is all about putting your spouse’s needs ahead of your own comfort, for better or worse, in sickness and in health. That tiny ring above her now arthritic knuckle is just beautiful to me and I hope her example, as well as my own, will scream to our children that our struggles are what make us stronger, that discomfort is part of life…a necessary part that drives you closer if you’re clinging to God.
I think self-centeredness is the first issue addressed in marriage as you strive to become one and the rings are often the test. I initially didn’t want to wear my ring on the traditional left hand because I’m left handed and was afraid I’d catch it on things, but it’s just part of me now, never had a problem. I’ve had to remove it a few times after developing an allergic reaction underneath it, but always switched it to my right hand then (God did give most of us a spare ring finger just in case). My brother never wanted to wear jewelry, so would often take his ring off and fidget with it. He is a pilot and one of the many times he took off his ring to fidget with it while waiting in the cockpit, it fell down a vent in the floor. Though the mechanics searched for it, it was never found and he had to buy a new one. My sister-in-law has a beautiful picture of the plane that holds his first wedding ring though. 🙂 We have both been happily married to our spouses for 10 and 12 years now. Not because of our ring wearing habits, but the attitudes behind them.
I have an interesting story to go with this question. My husband wore his ring pretty regularly until a few of years ago when he had to have it cut off at the ER. He was doing some archery target practice and the one time he shot, the force of the bow broke the arrow in half. The front end went flying and the back splintered end went through his left hand. The splintered end came out between his ring and pinky finger and they had to cut off his ring because his finger was swelling and the ring was cutting off circulation. So we still have the cut ring. They said a jeweler could put it back together but we haven’t made it there yet. By the way, after two different doctors and two surgeries, his hand is doing well. He can play guitar again as well as go archery hunting.
My husband hasn’t worn his in years – he is not a jewelry guy and it’s uncomfortable to him. I wear mine when I’m out of the house in the cooler months (hot weather makes my fingers swell too much.)
I think I’m in the minority because it never even crossed my mine to be bugged about my husband not wearing his ring. He is an introverted type and I’ve never once seen him flirt or try to attract other female attention. He is kind and totally devoted to me.
I do understand that others feel differently and I can respect that. However, I am frankly offended by some peoples’ view that “there can be very few excuses not to wear it” or “it is a heart issue not to wear it”. That attitude slides into legalism in my book!
My hubby is a farmer. He has never worn his ring, for fear of losing his finger. It is put up in an old music box he gave me before we were married. It has been there since we got back from our honeymoon; I even wore it on our honeymoon! I haven’t thought about it in the sixteen years we have been married. It is just a ring! I get the whole symbolism it represents, but its only for show. I know he loves me, I know he is committed to me and our family. Other people know that too. I don’t need a ring on his finger to prove that love for me. The best way to describe it is like this: A truly Godly man doesn’t have to carry a Bible with him all the time to show he is godly; people know he is of God by his words, character, actions. I think the same of a married man. People should know his commitment to his wife and family through his words, actions, and character, not by the ring on his finger.
I don’t meet your criteria for this comment section, but I wanted to share with you that my husband wears his wedding ring at all times — it was smashed on his finger after he was working with concrete about 12 years ago and WILL NOT COME OFF! (Mine stays on, too!)
There are a lot of comments from ladies who have husbands in occupations where they don’t wear a wedding ring for safety reasons. I think what is missing are comments from the thousands of us who have hsubands in an occupation where there is no occupational hazard.
This is hard to write as I will speak from experience to say that if your husband wore a ring and then does not wear a ring please dig deep and pray a lot. My husband was a leader in the church, a great family guy, one I trusted… but.
We are OK now, and he is once again wearing his ring.
I agree with all the comments made that people should know our commitment based on our actions – but I also think that it helps clarify things to “the world” to wear that wedding ring, be it proudly or doggedly. It’s a visual representation of the love that doesn’t end, and I’m glad that my husband wears his every day, as do I!
My husband and I will be celebrating our 12th anniversary this October and truth be told, neither of us wear our wedding ring. For me, my fingers have swelled (a polite way to say I have gained weight) and cannot fit my ring and my husband works in the field and almost lost his ring one day while working.
I have never found it to be a big deal. We both know who we are married to and that we are both married.
My husband wore his ring the first five years we were married, but now his job forbids rings and even watches because of safety hazards so don’t be too hard on guys who can’t wear them!
My husband always wears his ring. He enjoys having chats with our children about the wedding ring and the reminder it is to all who see it, including himself. I grew up in a family where my dad and brothers did work where you could not wear loose clothing or jewelry of any kind. My mother did not mind since it kept her man and sons safe. It would not bother me if my husband did not wear his ring because I know his heart. He does not like to wear any kind of jewelry. He has never worn a watch and he is left handed so the ring can be annoying but he wears it to honor me and our vows. I will say that every once in awhile I notice a woman eyeing my husband and as soon as she has seen his ring, her attention focuses elsewhere. I am thankful for that piece of metal for many reasons.
My husband does not wear his ring anymore because it got caught once too often and though his finger was hurt a bit it was not injured. I’d prefer if he could wear it everyday-or at least remember on Sundays!-but it’s not safe with the job he does and Sundays are pretty busy!
I agree about the heart. When my husband’s job meant danger from the ring, he never wore it because we’re forgetful types and he probably would have lost it! When the job became less dangerous, and he started having women co-workers, he started wearing the ring and never takes it off now. (I only take mine off when making bread.) It never bothered me when he didn’t wear his ring because I knew a) there was a good reason, and b) I had nothing to fear.
My husband has gained weight since we married, when his original wedding band got too tight, we never bothered to replace it. Money was tight, he had no desire to have one, and I didn’t see the need to push it. He won’t wear a watch either, he doesn’t like the feel of it, and wore the ring the first several years because I’d asked him to. He’s a homebody, if he’s not working (in a small, Christian office where everyone knows he’s married anyway, not saying “hanky panky” can’t happen in that environment, but a wedding ring isn’t going to stop it)he’s home with us. I don’t see it as a big deal, shrug.
My hubby and I have spent 27 mostly glorious years together and have rarely ever worn wedding rings. We got married at the tender ages of 17 and 19 and purchased very impractical rings for the life we were about to lead together. Our rings are simply to soft and to small for us any more but we can’t part with our first silly purchase, no matter how impractical, so they sit toghether on the night stand and we stand together in unity without the traditional symbol but with God and Love.
As a single mom who would like to be remarried someday, I say it is very helpful for a married man to make his situation clear. I am super careful about how I talk to married men, if at all, and NEVER to be alone with them. It is hard enough finding a godly available man – please wear your ring so I don’t have to wonder!
When I was single, I always noted whether a man was married or not (i.e. whether he had on a wedding band). It made a difference in how I treated him. It would bother me if my husband didn’t wear his wedding band. (I would wonder why.) Although one of the drummers in our music ministry said wearing his wedding band bugged him when he played drums.
I can’t imagine either of us not wearing our rings. I think I read somewhere that the ring finger has a direct vein into the heart which is why the tradition in the first place. I love that the rings symbolizes to others we are married and when I look at it I’m brought back to the moment my husband put it on me. I love when I hold my husband’s hand that I can feel his band. Love overflows in me. My husband did remove it when he worked construction but only during work hours. Neither of us ever once considered not wearing ours. No we don’t NEED them to be married or show love. They are material things, but for us they are one of the most important possessions we have. I wore my dad’s wedding band on a chain for the first year after he passed. I felt closer to him knowing it was apart of him for so long and it in essence bonded my parents together. I will encourage my girls and their husbands to always wear their rings, as well as my girls will wear purity rings until their daddy removes it on their wedding day. Since it means so much to both my husband and I, if one of us were to stop wearing it(other than safety), there would be a concern. We’ve paid to have ours sized and resized, it was worth the expense to us.
I have been married for 19 year. My husband occasionally wears his wedding ring but most often does not. It does not bother me because I feel that I can trust him.
My husband wears his all the time, but does once in a while wear it on the right hand to “give his finger a break” mine have been on since the wedding except for cleanings, a resizing and unfortunately getting a new diamond after the original was lost. My father was a mechanic on farm equipment and never wore his to work but it was there on his finger every Sunday and special occasion. Now he has an office job and wears it everyday.
My husband always wears his wedding ring. I’m glad he does. It’s a symbol of our love. But, one time at work he got his ring stuck on something & he almost lost his finger because of it. 🙁
It used to bother me when my hubby would forget to wear his wedding ring. He is a mechanic and doesn’t wear it at work…hazardous and that was fine, but he would often forget it after work or on weekends. Since our first year, I’ve come to grips with it. My husband has undying adoration and love for me and that is really what is important…his commitment and love. When I was pregnant I got out of the practice of wearing my ring with swelling. And since then I’ve developed quite a bit of eczema around my ring finger so I tend to leave it off. I forget to put it on when my finger is fine b/c so many of my days are spent without it. Now, Andrew and I wear them on Sundays and when we go on a holiday. We are very happily committed to one another and neither of us have hard feelings about our rings.
Hey, Todd. My husband wears his ring all the time. It has been repaired a few times in the 12 years we’ve been married. You should see it. I’m the one who rarely puts mine on. I wear it when we go out, but never around the house. I’m not a jewelry-lovin’ wife. But I tell you the truth, my husband loves being married and you will never see him without his ring.
My husband bent his wedding ring durng our first child’s birth. I guess you can say that he was pushing along with me. Anyhow, he has asked me repeatedly to have the ring repaired. Well, 8 years later, I still have not had his ring mended. However, if I would get to it, he would happily don it again.
I have been married for almost 20 years to a man who does not wear his wedding band and hasn’t for years because it is too small for his finger. It doesn’t bother me at all because I know that a ring is just a piece of jewelry and that his commitment to me is strong whether or not there is a piece of metal on his finger. I understand and appreciate the beauty of the symbol of wedding rings, but I also recognize the limitations of symbols to accurately depict truth (witness the many men and women who wear wedding bands even though they are involved in extramarital affairs). I kind of think of the verse in 1 Samuel 16:7 about man looking at the outward apperance but God looking at the heart in relation to wedding rings. Who can truly know a man’s heart by only the outer adornments? I also don’t often wear mine, because I garden a lot and work with my hands so much that it is hard to keep from damaging it. Thanks for a thought-provoking question.
My husband almost always wears his ring. Once in a while it irritates the skin, so he takes it off. However, he has switched to wearing it “European” style – on the right hand, because it was hitting his guitar strings and making a buzzing noise. He likes wearing it.
My husband and I both gained a bit of weight during my pregnancies and neither one of our rings would fit. hubby had his tattooed on and then made me a new one out of metal he was using to restore old guns. yes, I have a plain metal ring. but the fact that he made it with his own two (tattooed)hands makes it priceless to me.
My husband’s wedding ring was my grandfather’s wedding ring. It’s now bent and warped from his work at an automotive technician. One day he took it off for fear of completely ruining it – he wants to pass it on to our son when he marries. Recently he has started researching black metal rings made of titanium and other materials that would be harder and hold up better on his job. He has a risk of smashing his hand and losing a finger with the ring on at work but in 17 years it’s never happened and he says he’d rather lose a finger than lose me 🙂
For a time, my husband worked in a machine shop. He had to take his ring off for work because it was more important that he not loose a finger than it was to show his love for me. I agree with that. After all, I always took my ring off to make meatloaf and the world didn’t fall apart. If my husband went around town without it on I would feel very insecure. As I say that, I have to admit that I’m not wearing my ring at the moment. My finger is swollen and I need to get it re-sized. As long as I can feel his love and he can feel mine, it’s okay. I guess love isn’t determined by what is or isn’t on our finger. It’s what’s in our heart that counts.
From the start of our marriage 27 years ago, he rarely wore it because of the types of jobs he’s worked at over the years (farming/ranching/mining). He also has a friend who wore his on the job and lost his finger because of it. After 27 years, I’m used to him not wearing it around the house, but he does wear it when we go anywhere (church, etc). I’m OK with that. Mine never comes off my finger, even tho I’ve gained weight over the years (some days I couldn’t get it off if I wanted to! LOL!).
I think spouses who dont wear a wedding ring,except for safety issues, are spouses that are not truly committed to the marriage. The ring shows the world and is a daily reminder that before God you made a lifelong promise to someone to be true to them for life. Without the ring on a finger, tis easy to “forget” that promise.
I didn’t get a chance to read through all the comments, so I hope I’m not too repetitious of what might have already been said.
I had to stop wearing my ring in the 1st year of marriage due to allergic reactions to the metals. I bought a second ring of a higher carat hoping that would help and it did not. So, because of the eczema on my hands, I cannot wear jewelry. My husband wore his for some years longer then me until he went into carpentry. Between getting his hands dirty, getting his ring hit and snagged, he took it off. Neither of us have worn rings for years (been married over 12 years now, with 3 kids) and neither of us conduct ourselves in a way that would ever give the impression we are single 🙂 And neither of us are upset with the other about not wearing a ring.
If you really want to get technical, wedding rings are a pagan tradition. And face it, there are MANY who wear them and are not faithful, so wearing a ring does not equate a solid, God honoring marriage.
Blessings
My husband wore his ring the first 15-18 years we were married. Then when things got rough he took it off and then “lost” it and will not wear one now. I have not taken mine off other than while hospitalized for 24 years. When he won’t wear his it makes me feel that our vows are not as important to him as they are to me, or in showing others that he has a spouse he loves.
I think my husband usually wears his, but it’s not something I can ever remember checking. It really doesn’t matter to me if he wears it or not. He did briefly have a job where he was not permitted to wear it at work, but I think he usually wears it now.
I, on the other hand, wear mine sporadically depending on what I am doing that day. I take it off when I am doing certain crafts, or if my hands swell from exercise or heat. Sometimes I forget to put it back on for a few days.
We view our rings as jewelry. They are symbolic, yes, but they are not a thermostat for our relationship. I wear a cross necklace at times, which symbolizes I am Christian, but I don’t stop being a Christian when I take it off.
My husband wears his only part time and it bothers me because of what others may think. Yes, I understand that should not be a concern but when you have a large family people look at you anyway why add to the rude looks. He severely burned his hand years ago and saids that it is uncomfortable. My ring broke years ago and I have not had one for 3 pregnancies. That makes me feel more uncomfortable.
Loved Jeffrey’s comment about the “circulation” issue LOL! DH & I have had some interesting things happen to our wedding rings in the 29 years we’ve been married. I lost my first set (engagement and band) in a lake – had divers and EVERYONE looking for it, but no luck, so it was replaced with a beautiful one we designed ourselves. Hubby’s first ring broke (on the inside-pinched his finger, ouch!)He chose another one that is HUGE! Big hunk o’ gold with four beautiful diamonds across the top. It’s not going to break EVER! I gained and lost weight, so took mine off for awhile, but it’s back on for good ‘cause I’m keeping the weight off! Hubby has NEVER taken his off, but he works in an office. He used to work in a factory before we were married, and we discussed his not wearing it for safety, but that wasn’t an issue later on. For us, it’s an outward symbol, but obviously after 29 years, it’s not anything but a symbol. It’s what’s in your heart, and how you behave and choose to honor your vows that is important (but the diamonds are sure fun to look at LOL!)
For our marriage, it has become a maturity thing, a Christ growing in your heart maturity thing. I, the wife did not even have a ring for many years. For our tenth anniversary, I received from dh a ring. Someone had encouraged him, and it looks more like an engagement ring (other’s comments-I adore it ;^). Finally at our close to be 19 anniversary, he has been talking about how he really should have a wedding ring. Now, he HAD one at the very beginning (i thought it was important), but it got cut off in an accident, and I did not push for another one. I think it is pretty cool that he is coming around after all these years to see the spiritual value in wearing a wedding ring. I think before he may have viewed it as materialistic. Non the less, he loves me dearly, and I will take that over a ring anyday! sincerely, Sheri
I have to say I don’t wear my wedding ring either. I’m not much of a jewlery person, so for the everyday tasks of cooking, cleaning, schooling, grocery shoppping, I don’t wear a wedding ring. It bothers me with constant hand washings and gets in the way of lotion and either spins on my finger when its cold or my fingers swell when it’s warm. My husband is a UPS man and after breaking the first wedding ring while on the job (the pewter separated from the gold) I told him it was okay to not wear it to work. That was 15 years ago. I like how one entry put it, “the ring doesn’t change the heart.” It’s what’s in the heart that counts. Our actions and commitment to each other say much more then whether or not we are wearing a ring. On Sundays when we get all dressed up for church, the rings go on. For us, they are just a piece of jewlery. But that was an agreed upon assumption. If a husband isn’t wearing his ring with the intent to be deceptive, then there’s a much bigger issue at stake.
It doesn’t bother me, well you see the first time he went with out his wedding ring it was because he lost it. We could not afford a new one. We prayed and prayed and in the next spring our friends found it in there driveway!!
I stopped wearing mine when it lost a diamond, it doesn’t look so nice, and we haven’t replaced it. Then poor hubby got his ring hooked up at work and the ring got all bent out of shape. So this last year neither one of us has worn one! We’ve been married 15yrs. WE’re hoping one day we can replace them! 🙂 But we know we’re married;)
My husband and I are approaching our 15th wedding anniversary and our rings are a symbol of our love for each other and Christ that bond us together. Some circumstances have kept both of us from wearing our rings from time to time. My favorite…our first dinner out after baby 1 and I wanted to wear my ring so bad…BIG mistake. My fingers were still swollen and we had to go to the jewelry store to have my rings cut off because my finger had turned completely purple! Dinner was good though! We put my rings in for repair and had the diamond from my engagement ring put on my wedding band. When he has to travel, I find comfort in my wedding ring and speaking with him each morning and night. 🙂
My husband is allergic to everything. He usually wears his band, but has had to have it cut off his finger before due to an allergic reaction to motor oil. His hands were very swollen. He works in concrete now, and has the same problem. I always wear my ring, however.
I’ve stopped wearing my ring recently for job/safety purposes. I snagged it once getting out of my semi-truck. I’m in and out several times per day, so I just don’t wear it. My fingers have been gradually thickening over the years (we’ve been married 13 years) and it’s harder and harder to get the thing off and on. So I just keep it on my key chain, so I always have it with me. Someone else stated something about behavior. I agree with that. I asked my wife about your question this morning, and she said it didn’t bother her one bit. Part of the reason is any time throughout our marriage that we’ve had some sort of interaction that could have been taken the wrong way, or if we feel someone was flirting even in the slightest toward either of us, we always report it to each other.
My husband cannot wear a wedding ring to work or jewelery of any kind because of safty issues. We both hate it! I don’t want him to wear it to work and then take it off each day because I’m afraid he will lose it. He tries to remember to wear it on the weekends but neither of us is great about remembering to get it out on Saturday. He dislkies not wearing it even more than I do!
I vote to have husbands wear the ring…reminds me that he if for me and tells others he is adored by someone.
Yeah, I’ve noticed both men and women not wearing their rings. It bugs me too! It tends to give me a sad feeling. We have been married 25 years and have not taken them off. My husband was not suppose to wear it at work for safety reasons BUT he found an alternative…wrap a bandaid (or 2) around it. He has done this for years. There is just something about having those bands on that says trust and commitment -and mine:)
I love the fact that my husband wears his wedding ring. Before babies, and the baby fat that goes with that, we had matching bands. I really like that. 🙂
My husband never takes his ring off, but in the first four years of marriage he never wore it. I think it is important, representing a covenant. I just looked at a picture that has sat on top of our bookshelf for years, the picture of of my husband returning from a deployment and holding two of our blessings. You know what I noticed first, his wedding band. It is important!
My husband and I both wear our rings all the time. The few times he’s had to take his off- he gives it to me to hold and puts it back on as soon as possible. His ring is bent and uncomfortable and we’ve talked of getting him a new one, but not matter how uncomfortable it is – he wears it. He designed mine and I love it, I don’t even take it off to make bread- I just clean it a lot! 🙂
My husband never takes his ring off. He’s a “keeper”.
He seems to think I’m a “keeper” as well, although I never wear my ring at home. I am NOT a jewelry person at all, but, by habit, almost always remember to put my engagement and band on when I go out.
Having worked as an Occupational Therapist’s assistant for many years before my husband and I had our first daughter and I quit my job to be home, I saw and helped treat some horrendous injuries to men’s hands (and a few women’s) when they were wearing rings while doing very dangerous jobs. Given my experience, I’ve let my husband know if he needs to remove his for safety, please do. I’d rather have a man who carries himself well and through his deportment people are aware he is married than deal with his having to go through recovery from a terrible injury.
That being said, when we purchased our wedding rings 15 years ago, we bought him a more expensive, properly fitting ring and, even though he is left handed and has a particularly dangerous job and it does make me nervous to know he is working while wearing his ring, he rarely takes it off. He says it just doesn’t “feel” right to not be wearing it.
I also have never removed my wedding band (except when I had to remove it during my pregnancies), though I admit that when I’m cleaning or doing something particularly dangerous, I do remove my engagement ring – it isn’t a traditional diamond and I really don’t want to damage it.
I also grew up with a Dad, who for safetly reasons, wasn’t allowed to wear a ring. I saw his commitment to my Mom and their marriage and learned from an early age that commitment comes from the inside and not some piece of jewelry they wear on the outside. So a person not wearing a ring doesn’t bother me as long as it isn’t done for deceptive reasons.
Have you ever seen The Abyss? Main character is not mentally divorced from his wife and so he still wears his ring, even though he is working on an undersea rig. At one point, after trying to take it off, the ring actually saves his life! Then he reunites with his wife. Enough said???!!!
It just all depends on the activity he is involved in.
1) When he works with power tools, etc. I don’t want him to wear them because of the possible danger.
2) Landscaping – it can bend and get dirty.
3) Sometimes his fingers swell from some of his manual labor.
4) Otherwise I like it when he wears his ring. He usually wears it unless his work makes it dangerous or uncomfortable.
<No I do not like it when a husband will not wear a ring just because he doesn’t want to or just because his wife wants him to.
My husband is very devoted to me and loves me very much. He loves to have his ring on his hand.
I guess I’m going to be the weirdo . . . My husband doesn’t wear his wedding band; I don’t wear mine. Both need resized, but we have made no kind of priority about doing it. I am very uncomfortable with anything on my fingers; I tried to do it for the first six months or so of marriage and very happily gave it up with pregnancy and never wore it more than incidentally since. I think he’s more worried about losing it (usually keeps it on his keychain).
It was pretty funny the one time he was advising a divorce client who went on and on about her husband never wore his ring when he went out and he made some flippant remark about, “Yes, I suppose it’s harder to pick up chicks with it on,” and the client said, “Oh, is that why you don’t wear yours?” So he did have to clarify that it was definitely NOT the reason.
External symbols are just not very important to us. I never notice or think twice about whether someone else does or doesn’t wear a ring—it’s the way they act that matters.
My husband has always worn a wedding ring unless he was working on the car or with heavy machinery. His dad didn’t begin to wear one until we had been married ten years or so. After seeing his son wear one, he decided it was a good idea. I like him to wear it. It looks good to me.
I always wear mine, but my husband lost a lot of weight and his no longer fits. He has asked about having it re-sized (like 5 years ago!), but I’ve just never done it. Guess it doesn’t bother me too much!
Like so many other commenters, my husband and I did not wear our rings for safety reasons: we were both in the Navy, and a fall when the ship hit a swell has caused many serious finger injuries for people wearing rings. As a housewife, I’m always digging in the dirt, cleaning up paint, washing dishes, etc., so I still don’t wear it.
Besides, we don’t look very “available”!
My husband has always worn his ring; never takes it off. That is really important to me.
My husband has very huge hands and fingers. When the wicked fairy god-mother in Shrek 2 (i think that is the one) tells Shrek not to point those sausages at her – that is exactly what my husbands hands look like. (It’s no surprise we call him Shrek!) So, his ring was just not comfortable on him at all. Also, it is very dangerous for him to wear his to work as he climbs towers at a refinery and with those big “ol’ sausages”, he could catch that ring if he slips on the ladders and literally tear his finger off.
But, my husband is the most loyal, faithful man I have ever known. There is never an issue or concern about him not wearing a wedding ring. He tried when we first married but it was so uncomfortable and he had to remove it at work anyway, that he gave up on wearing it (he asked me first if it would bother me). I have never batted an eye about him not wearing a ring. I, like a lot of women, love diamonds so I have no problem wearing mine. It has nothing to do with faithfulness or bonding or a covenant – we made that oath before God and it is sealed in our hearts.
My husband was raised in a church where no jewelry, including wedding bands, was worn by male or female. He left that church before we met & when we were married, even though he is a carpenter & tough on his hands, he said he was very proud to wear his ring because he wanted all to know that we were married whether I was with him or not.
Once upon a time, I had asked how people in the church he grew up in would know someone else was married. He simply replied that everyone knew everyone else & that there was never really a question but with one man who was flirty with my husband’s younger sister despite that he was married. Someone else noticed & was able to pull his sister aside. She had never met the man & was surprised by his behavior.
My husband’s other side of the family is Orthodox & wears their wedding bands on the right hand… so I mentioned that he might have to buy me another set of rings to wear on that hand for when we visit there. hahaha 😉
It was my parent’s choice to stop wearing their wedding bands when they decided to give up jewelry, so I was brought up in a home where the traditional wedding ring idea just wasn’t there. It has never been an issue for me, and my husband and I also chose not to exchange rings in our wedding ceremony. Wedding rings are deeply ingrained in our society, which is why it does mean a lot to most people. Because my family culture excluded rings, it was never something I ever thought about.
God invented marriage, society invented rings. One can exist without the other. I trust my husband, and my husband trusts me, and we do not view wedding bands as proof of our love and fidelity. Fidelity is something you wear on your heart, not your finger. Your demeanor has more to do with availability than jewelry does. I have known people who wore their ring but were unfaithful.
My husband’s father seldom wore a wedding band because he was a machinist and didn’t want it to get caught in the machinery and rip off his finger. Because of this, however, wearing a wedding band became more important to my husband, who is frequently deployed with the military and away from me, and he rarely removes his ring. I, however, do not wear mine. I have allergic reactions to the metal when I wear it. This does not seem to bother my husband. He figures that while I am dragging around a diaper bag and 4 small children who look exactly like him, no one will assume I am available. So far, he’s right!
We don’t wear our wedding rings and it doesn’t bother me a bit. Of course, I guess our reasons are a bit different. For me, after two kids and the weight fluctuations during those pregnancies along with swelling, I simply can’t get mine on. It took a while but I currently weight a little less than I did before I had kids but my hands are different and the rings don’t fit. My husband was tall and skinny when we married and he has finally filled out into a manly body. His hands are much bigger than they were when we got married so his doesn’t fit either. As a single income homeschooling family, we have to prioritize our spending habits in order to survive financially and having our rings re-sized is not our priority right now. I’d love to wear mine but I simply can’t. My husband feels the same way but one thing we know for sure is it doesn’t matter because we know where our devotions lay. We’ve been through enough together that there are no doubts here in this family with regards to faithfulness.
When I was younger and married to my first husband it ment alot to me for him to wear his ring. Now that I am remarried and my husband can’t wear his ring to work it doesn’t seam to matter, I feel so secure because he let’s me know in so many ways that he is mine and a wedding band wouldn’t change anything.
Both I and my husband come from backgrounds/cultures where wedding rings were not part of a marriage. I choose not to wear jewelry of any sort. It’s just one part of a simpler lifestyle. Even if I wanted to, our occupations—outdoor work and scrubbing in for surgery, etc.— would have precluded the use of jewelry. Also being in the medical profession, I am very familiar with the many problems many people have mentioned in their posts.
A ring does not make or keep a marriage. Only the commitment we make will keep us bound to each other.
My husband worked in maintainance for the first half of our marriage and couldn’t wear his ring because of safety reasons. He went to an office job about 6 years ago, but only started wearing his ring recently. I never realized how much it bothered me until he started wearing it again. I trust him completely and it was a long standing habit not to wear it, but I’m very glad he has it on now.
My husband wore his ring faithfully everyday from the time we were married until a couple years ago when he joined the military (it is not allowed in his unit). At the time it was no big deal to me since I have only been able to wear 1/2 of my set since having children. However, he soon had problems with attention from another woman who thought that no ring meant his vows were no longer that important to him. After working through the problems this caused our marriage we have both realized how important those rings are and how much they stand for. Tomorrow night, to celebrate our 9th anniversary, my husband is going to have a band tattooed on his finger. Although I am personally not in favor of tattoos, I truly appreciate the gesture and it means alot to me that he would go to that length for us. 🙂
My husband stopped wearing his band shortly after we got it. I was bothered until he explained that it irritated the nerves of his fingers as he typed. (He programs for a living and for fun. He used his hands 12-16 hours a day through school especially.)
We bought a thinner band which was something since we were broke college students and he really was tight with $ back then. So, I knew this was all real.
So sometimes it’s other things that can’t be explained by sight.
Btw, he also suffers from Ulnar nerve damage from this keyboarding for over 30 years. But, it provides for the family so well. Ugh.
Thanks for the question!
My husband is a contractor and has rarely worn his ring in our 20 years of marriage. I don’t even really notice. Although, years ago in a college class, some young women gave him the riot act when they found out he was married. (Well, he is quite good looking and friendly – guess they thought so too!) 😉 Overall, it hasn’t been an issue – but I suppose if it becomes an issue he’ll start wearing one. (Of course, he takes often our cute Yorkie with him on errands – that’s more dangerous than not wearing a ring! I’m so thankful for a God-fearing man who has never given me one reason to be jealous or insecure!)
We’ve been married for 21 years and my husband has never taken his ring off. It definitely DOES matter – to me. It’s a symbol of being married. When I see a married man without a ring, I instantly grow suspicious. I realize that some jobs don’t permit jewelry, but when that man is not on the job, he should have that ring on.
It’s great to see so many of the Husbands saying they never take theirs off. How sweet is that! My Hubby usually wears his unless he is working with his hands remodeling our house or something and that’s ok but if he forgets to put it on for other normal daily tasks. I don’t like it at all. I have worn mine everyday for nearly 9 years and have only taken it off to get resized after having our 3 babies.
My husband’s job prevents him from wearing his ring and after 24 years of marriage the ring is only a symbol, I know he loves me and that is all that matters.
We have an excavation co. and my hubby has never worn his wedding ring. It catches and really isn’t safe to wear. He is a very loyal and true blue man and I’ve never been concerned about it. Oh, besides he hates jewelry. I think it would probably drive him crazy and I prefer a sane partner! 🙂
My husband does not wear his wedding band on his finger for safety reasons at work. I’m okay with that because I would rather he be safe alive, and in one piece than injured,dead, or finger loss; therefore he puts his wedding band on his keychain. He actually has two, one for his keychain and then a spare one for when we go out and he remembers to put one on 🙂
My husband actually picked out our wedding rings. When we went shopping, I pointed out the rings my best friend had, which are made of Black Hills colored gold and feature pink roses and green leaves circling the band. He fell in love with them and since he liked them so much, I let him choose. He has worn his every day and night, never taking it off unless he has had to, like for his recent car accident, when he spent a month in the hospital, and this last week for another surgery. For a long time it seemed he couldn’t even get it off because it wouldn’t go over the knuckle. He wears it proudly and faithfully, and after 27 years the deeply-cut pink roses are wearing down. He works with computers so there is no danger at work.
I, on the other hand, gained weight during pregnancy and have had to stop wearing mine. Because it is an eternity ring, it can’t be resized, and because it is not pure gold, it became damaged and discolored several years ago by chlorine. My husband bought me another wedding band for Christmas one year, plain gold and a little wider than I would like, but it meant a lot to me that he spent time choosing one that was really good quality. I did have the matching engagement ring resized and now wear my diamond again — that means a lot to me.
While a ring is only a symbol of the heart commitment that is there, it’s been very special to me that he would not remove his ring unless there was a medical reason. We said in our marriage vows that “divorce is not an option.” This last year has been the hardest of all for us because of his accident, but we are closer than ever because of it. We are thinking about renewing our vows on the 1-year anniversary of the accident in November, at which time I don’t know if we will get new rings. I would like a new ring but he probably doesn’t want to stop wearing the one he has.
If you were to look into history the wedding ring hasn’t been a ‘thing’ for that long. I’m not 100% sure but I believe that when it became popular the woman wore one and not the man. Just like engagement rings…not a popular thing until more recently (like the last century or so).
I personally grew up with a father that didn’t wear one ‘cause of his work. My mom didn’t seem to care. So if my husband couldn’t wear one due to work I would be OK with that but I’m glad he does wear it all the time. And I know he really likes that I wear mine all the time too. 🙂
I think that it is a reflection of a bigger problem in the Church -a double standard! It’s a male “do as I say not as I do” thing. To be fair, I know some men can’t ware a wedding ring so this is NOT directed towards them. However, men choosing to just not ware one is just another “the gander will submit to the goose” church mentality that drive the unsaved (and frankly many saves people) away from church (or at least church settings and church people)!
My wedding band is wider than many I see. That was completely intentional on my wife’s part — she wanted it to be abundantly clear to all that I was “taken.”
My husband hates wearing a ring….but he does it because he loves me! (He also refrains from reminding me that after 15 years it still bothers him.) And I love him for it all the more. He’s a surgeon, so he must take it off for surgery, but otherwise he always wears it. It IS just a symbol, but it is one that I cherish.
My husband is a heavy truck mechanic and just recently had to stop wearing his ring. Something happened while working on a truck that literally changed the shape of the ring from a circle to a square. Once we get it fixed, he said he’ll wear it when he’s not at work, which is just fine!
I do understand safety issues for not wearing a ring (maybe a toe ring then? Ha!). But my husband frequently points to his ring and reminds our 3 boys of his commitment to God to stay faithful to me and to them. Also the obvious point that God’s love for us is never-ending. Rings can also be a powerful tool to symbolize or represent family heritage and honoring of our ancestors.
I just read the Familyman email. Payday is next week – I’m going to buy a wedding ring to replace the one I lost over 6 years ago. I’m not a ‘jewelry guy’ – I don’t even wear a watch – so replacing it hasn’t been a priority. But, I want my kids to feel as safe as I did when I was a kid. I want my wife to feel safe too. Thank you for reminding me.
It is a reminder that I am bound to MY wife before GOD, and it is protection against others trying to break into our unity (though culturally that is becoming less true to our societies demise). Therefore, I wear it whenever possible which is evident by its wear:)
I cut off two of my fingers in a construction accident many years ago. Because of this my ring finger has a deformity that doesn’t allow a normal ring to fit. When my wife and I got married 10 years ago we had our jeweler create a ring that would fit over my scarring and slide onto my ring finger without falling off. It was very important to me that even though it didn’t quite fit that I get a ring because I’ve always thought of it as a symbol of my commitment to my wife and to the Lord. There is no biblical mandate that calls us to where rings, it is more or less a tradition but one that both my wife and I enjoy.
I’m reminded of the covenant God made with Noah and his family while exiting the Arc. A covenant…a promise he not only made to them to all for eternity. Why didn’t God just show the Rainbow to Noah and his family? I believe God thoroughly enjoys reminding us of his promises he made to us, what those promises mean and how much he loves us. Showing my kids the rainbow provides them that comfort food in their hearts that God is a father that keeps his promises.
For my kids and my wife, wearing my wedding ring provides that very same reminder…comfort food to there hearts that “My Dad/Husband…made us a promise.” Now if you look at my ring, it is full of scuffs, scrapes and dings from normal wear and tear of using my hands. I tell everyone that the ring also represents my covenant with my wife. We have had our share of dings, scrapes and scuff in our walk together but I still wear it and strive to honor that covenant each and every day. Those things have brought us moments in our lives that we’ll remember forever. Do your kids, your wife and yourself a favor guys, aside for medical or safety reasons, wear your ring.
No matter the discomfort it may place on your finger, it does not compare to the discomfort it can place in their hearts.
When I grew up, my stepfather didn’t wear his wedding ring, claiming it didn’t feel comfortable. He would hang out in bars in the evenings and on weekends, which didn’t encourage trust on my mother’s behalf. In short, they eventually divorced during the middle of my Senior year in High School. I don’t think it was the wearing of the ring or not, but perhpas it is an outward sign of the inward commitment a husband or wife feels. Not to discount the safety issue (an uncle lost his finger due to a wedding ring incident), but outside of that it should be on the finger every minute safety is not an issue. My wife doesn’t do dishes with her ring on, but she puts it on immediately after she finishes cleaning up the kitchen. I am proud to wear my Great-Grandfather’s wedding ring, which I inherited when he passed. My wife added some of her gold to it and had it re-molded by hand to fit me with an inscription on the inside. I can count on one hand the times I have taken it off in 15 years of marriage.
Though married 18 years, I still remember how uncomfortable it was when I got married and first “had to” wear my ring. To this day, it still frequently bothers me. Nonetheless, it is a very important symbol in my life and my willingness to wear it is indicative of the depth of my commitment to Melissa, my wife.
No men are in conditions truly unsafe for wearing a ring 24/7. At the least, when I eat and when I sleep are two times every day when I can be safe and wear my ring. When I’m in an unsafe situation for a ring, I can remove it or wear a glove. When I’m not in such a situation, it both honors my wife and reminds me and others (including my children) of my conclusive commitment to her. What a pain. Or, is it … what a blessing?
My brother-in-law had started not wearing his at church at all when he played guitar, and then one day a nice young lady approached him & asked him to go to lunch with her after church. Well, my sister-in-law happened to be standing there with him and <quickly> declined that invitation and realized he wasn’t wearing his wedding band. Needless to say, he plays guitar now at church with his wedding band on, and if it causes him to hit a sour note….it’s better to hit THAT sour note than to get hit with a sour note by his wife!! I only take mine off to play congas or bongos at church and always put it back on before leaving the stage. In fact, when I take it off, I notice the skin under there is about 5 shades lighter than the rest of my hand!
It may be unnecessary to some, and maybe that’s true. It may be even unwanted by some, surely that is true. It may be a hindrance to some due to the type of work they do, true for sure. But even though my dad wasn’t perfect, I, like you, found a calm assurance when I held his hand and felt that gold band. He’s been gone for more than 20 years and I can still see the worn gold band on his hard-working hand and feel the touch of that hand on my head. Maybe it doesn’t really matter, but it mattered to me.
My wife and I both come from families that have taken off their wedding rings because of divorces, several times over. We praise God that He has given us new life, and that by His Spirit we are an example to a dying world. I would sooner cut off my finger than remove the ring it sits on.
After my wife took a part time job in a jewelry store, she got my ring repaired. It had been damaged many years before and since I’m not a jewelry wearing guy, it wasn’t a priority for me to get it fixed. Now it only comes off my finger for safety reasons. This also got me thinking about my dad and his ring. I don’t ever remember him wearing it. I did find out after he died that even though he didn’t wear it, he carried it in his pocket everyday.
I do not wear my wedding ring because I used to be on submarines in the Navy & it was a job hazard. I’ve never gotten used to wearing ANY rings because I find them uncomfortable. Like Inneka above, we were also raised in a denomination where jewelry is unacceptable except for a watch. That’s not the main reason I do not wear the ring, though. It’s just too difficult to get used to. I’ve been faithfully married for over 14 years now, 4 kids, and if anyone seems interested in me, I immediately let them know I’m married. Besides, a gold band in this society does not detract from unwanted solicitors. It actually makes some women feel “safer” in flirting with a married guy.
1. Study the origins of wedding bands. You will be surprised (shocked?) at what you find. Also research when they began to be worn in the United States.
2. Look for any scriptural commands or admonitions to wear wedding bands, or jewelry of any type.
3. Pray and act accordingly. Let your behavior reflect your faith and relationship with our Creator and His ways.
I always wear my ring. The only time I have taken it off is to let my son use it as a treasure for a pirate bathtub toy, and I didn’t even feel comfortable doing that. It’s just a thing of principle and security, it really means a lot to me.
W-A-R-N-I-N-G: Those with weak constitutions LOOK AWAY!
I do not wear a ring and my wife <gasp> does not have a diamond wedding ring and <gasp><gasp> I didn’t give her an engagement ring when I proposed. Her wedding ring is a Black Hills gold ring that is a family heirloom.
Our marriage is a covenant between us and God. Whether I have a ring or not, or whether her ring is a diamond or not, does not affect that covenant.
I’m not sure about the origin of the ring tradition, and I am not against the symbolism, but let’s be reasonable…faithfulness and love are matters of the heart and a “ring” is an external symbol, like a cross necklace. Anyone think that Madonna is a Christian because she wears a cross necklace?
The Bible is silent on rings for married persons so why all this concern over whether or not you wear it one at all or all the time?
One of my staff has a long time friend who heads up security for a Major League Baseball Team. This team won the pennant a few years back and so this man received an ostentatious championship ring that promptly went on his finger. Interestingly enough this man had been married nearly 30 years and yet had never wore his wedding ring. Just recently his friends have noticed that he treats his wife more like he should (opening doors, walking beside her not in front, holding hands, etc.). And, lo and behold after 30 years he began wearing his band. It seems to me that unless you have a reason (allergic, construction, etc.) to not wear the band, then the lack of wearing it corresponds to how you feel about marriage. If you highly value marriage, you’ll show others that you’re married in the conventional way it is shown…a ring.
After all these comments, I better go find my ring and put it on. I can see that it is important for our wifes
This is a pet peeve of mine!! I didn’t meet my husband until I was 31 and got married at 33. It used to make me mad if I spotted a “single” guy in our church group of singles/young marrieds that I later found out was married! (I assumed he was single because he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring! All of that dreaming and praying for nothing :0 For that same reason, I insist that my husband wear his all the time (so he doesn’t turn any heads but mine 🙂 I even told him when we were dating that I didn’t want anything bigger than 1/2 carat so I could wear it all the time. I rarely take mine off, and all husbands and wives should do the same 🙂
I have a picture memory of seeing my husband across the room at our wedding reception, the new gold band shining obviously on his finger. The ring is very important to me! I think so highly of my husband that I’m afraid women might want to flirt with him. The wedding band is a clear symbol of status! Like garlic to a vampire or citronella to a mosquito, so is a ring to single women. He has taken it off for work, but I request it go back on right away or strung on a necklace.
I’ve been married going on ten years and rarely take my ring off. It is an important symbol of completeness! Occasionally I have to take it off due to a skin breakout on my finger, but after a couple of days it must go back on. I understand for those taht work with machinery, electricity, construction,etc., as those environments can be dangerous.
I’m married to an un-ringed husband. My spouse lost his original wedding ring playing softball because it was too large for his finger. He had only had it for about two years or so. Since then, he has not worn a ring. I bought him a replacement (cheaper) ring, but it also was too big, and since he’s a toolmaker there is a mild risk in wearing it at work, so it just got left in the jewelry box. It used to bother me that he didn’t wear it, but like many other things, I have shifted my expectations of him and come to love him all the more. I’ve realized this: this piece of jewelry is a symbol. Symbols are nice, but not always necessary. My man is a t-shirt and jeans, very masculine kind of guy, not a romantic bring-me-flowers type of guy. He loves me with a hard-core, intimate, and uconditional love that is as real as it gets. He loves me despite my many imperfections, and I do the same in return. I respect my husband more than any man I know, and I would rather have his real love and affection than create a stir about him not wearing a wedding ring. You mentioned that it bothers you that men don’t wear their rings, and I can see how it would be bothersome—if we let it. However, I think there are alot of things that could bother wives about their husbands that they choose to look past because they are not worth two cents in an eternal light. If my five sons and three daughters model or look for a husband like their father, this world will have sixteen more extremely committed and happily married people!
When my shotgun blew up in my hand it shreded 2 of my fingers …one being my ring finger. The pain was almost unbearable. In the ER they said they would have to cut my ring off what was left of my finger.. I had not had the ring off in 30 years so I told them not to cut it. When they tried to pull it off(before the pain meds) I almost passed out from the pain. I told them to cut it. When I saw the 2 pieces of my bloody ring…I cried. I never wanted it removed. I was too anxious to have it back on my finger and had it resized to fit my new shorter finger before I had completely healed. It was too big so I ended up wearing it on my right hand till the healing was over. One day my wife asked when I was going to have it resized to fit my left had. I said “Why? does it bother you?” She said “Yes”. And I thought the ring was important to me! I went right away and had it resized. It has not been off my “new unimproved” finger since.
I’m not a jewelry guy. No necklaces, no rings. Not even a watch. But I DO wear my wedding band. Most nights I take it off when I get home or go to bed cause I just don’t like stuff “on me” (yes I wear cloths!)In the culture today the least we can do is say “I’m spoken for” with a visible sign.After all my wife puts up with the least I can do is wear it!
I admit I’m puzzled by the comments that people don’t wear them because they don’t fit anymore… once I’d been married a few years, and had someone who was now feeding me properly, my wedding ring started getting rather tight. Our jeweler took care of that for $25.
In the end, though, it’s a cultural thing. I know several couples who opted for ring tattoos instead of actual bands. I guess it adds a whole new layer of meaning when you CAN’T take it off!
My ring was getting tight after many years of marriage and some weight gain. I took it off in Pizza Hut because it hurt. I put it on my little finger, but it fell of somewhere before got home. We haven’t had the money to replace it.
We’ve been married for 14 years and I’ve always worn my ring. Sometimes I will take it off if I’m working in the garage or doing something around the house that might cause my fingers to swell, or at night before bed. Occasionally, I have forgotten to put it on, but before leaving the house, but I usually notice before I’ve gotten a block away and will return home to get it. I almost feel naked without it, and I like the way it feels on my finger. I can’t explain it, but there is a certain sense of security there.
My husband has not worn a wedding ring for quite some time as he was in foodservice and food production businesses where it is dangerous to wear one. I haven’t worn one for quite a few years because as a few others have already mentioned, it no longer fits. We were planning to buy new rings for both of us but that has been put on hold due to money, or lack thereof.
I’m curious. Can anyone show me wedding rings in scripture?
I think this wedding band issue is only issue in rich countries like America and Switzerland where gold is abound. I have been in many different countries and I never heard issues about wedding bands in poor countries.The first time I have heard issues about waring or not waring wedding bands was in Switzerland. Than in America in a Swiss community, than in other places in America. I grew up in a small europian country, where my parents and relatives did not wear wedding bands and it never even flipped my mind that they should , otherwise my Dad may go and date with someone. I just knew that He loved God and He never would do such things. I never felt any insecurity just because I never heard of wedding bands. And when I heard of it especially in America ( Bill Clinton was our dear President at the time and I’m 100% sure that he wore a wedding band, more likely he still wears it today) guess what was I thinking about wedding bands :). Wedding bands do nothing. If your love goes only that far that you have to wear it to show it to flirty ladies in your church that you are taken, and your wife needs to step in that you wouldn’t except an “invitation”, your wedding band worths nothing. My husband never even mentioned to me to get one, neither did I mentioned to him to get me one ( He was born in America,but his parents never wear wedding bands either)We just both knew that we have God as our security. As far as that goes I surely would not want to be part of a church where ladies are flirting with man -possibly with married one. We are going to a church with over 300 members, and about 600 people gathers on a normal Sunday, including children and non members, but I do know all the members and they know me.I woud not want to be a part of a church where I would have to worry about ladies flirting around my husband, neither I would want to be a wife of a husband who would allow ladies flirting around him. I Think the wisest comment here is the “A Dad” advice.
My wife and I faithfully wear our wedding rings, and if I had a job that wouldn’t permit it, I think I would go and get a tattoo on my ring finger like someone else below wrote about below.
I know wearing my ring is not a biblical essential. It’s just a cultural standard. Nevertheless, that standard carries a tremendous amount weight in terms of symbolizing my devotion to the committment I made before the Lord to my wife.
The only time my wife and I take ours off is when we go to bed. During those times, I might of put it in a different spot than usual. When that happens, often times, I’ll wake up in the morning and can’t remember where I put it. But, I have no fear because my wife, son, or daughter always seem to know where I left it. That’s a small reminder of how important it is to them. The feeling I get that tells me I’m missing a part of me when I can’t find reminds me how important wearing it is to me.
Its up to each couple. If it means something to them, they should wear them. If neither of them are upset by not wearing it, then let them be.
My husband has worn his since the day we were married 16 years ago in Russia. I have been very thankful. As a pastor and a musician he is often places without me. Even though I know that I do not have to worry about him but the women that try to flirt with him. Yes, they do not always care if the wedding band is on but he does, and makes it apoint to show them. I do not wear mine around the house but always put it on before I leave. It is a symbol of our marriage and think it should be on display. HOWEVER, there are times that I have been very concerned about his working (he also works at a hardware store where he repairs chainsaws) but because he works in public he wants to wear it.
My father never wore his because it was too dangerous.
There are legitimate reasons not to wear a wedding ring for safety. My husband has to take his off during work hours on occasions. Most of his employees can’t wear them at all during work. I understand that. There are machines some of these folks work around that can grab a ring and rip a hand or arm off. I don’t have a problem at all with my husband taking his ring off in those situations. However, I would have a giant problem if he didn’t wear it the remainder of the time. He does wear it all the time: morning, evening, night, on the way to and from work, …
How many of these men who ‘forget’ their rings because of work but always remember their watches? If they aren’t allowed to wear a wedding ring to work due to safety, a watch is a no-no as well.
If your wife won’t have her wedding ring resized after childbearing, please understand it is a girl thing. We can’t stand to go up a dress size either! The other thing is that she wants to preserve that special ring just as it is forever. Husband, go get her a new ring in her new size to surprise her. She probably won’t do it for herself but will likely be thrilled and touched at your gesture.
My husband doesn’t wear a ring because he can’t. He corrodes metal. For the longest time he had to buy new eyeglass frames and watchbands yearly. He was even told that if he wanted to wear a ring he would have to go to a machine shop (this was by a jeweler). It never really mattered to us though because its how we feel on the inside not necessarily what is worn on the outside.
I lost my wedding ring waterskiing a number of years ago. After renting an underwater metal detector and covincing a park ranger to let me use it in the lake where I lost it…I just couldn’t find it. I gave up after 3 or 4 hours of searching—and the sun had gone down anyway. 🙁 I would love to wear one again, but I used to be a singer/actor and now I’m a worship leader, and I’ve just never made enough to buy a replacement. Otherwise, I’d wear it everyday!
My wedding ring has the same set of diamonds as my wife’s engagement / wedding set. When doing automotive, RV or electrical work I always take it off. I also take it off when the risk of losing the diamonds is high. Otherwise, I enjoy wearing it. Looking at the ring, and knowing that my wife (where ever she may be) has the same set brings about unique identification. The diamonds are arranged with a large center stone and two smaller stones on either side. It is a picture that Christ is at the center, between two beings, on one band.
I have been married to my bride for almost 19 years. I asked her for a wider comfort fit plain band. I knew it would get banged up and I did not want to take it off. I was proud to be married to her and never wanted to take it off. I am a plumber and own my own business so it is obviously dinked up a little from all the tool and work over the years but I will not take it off. I often think that the inscription on the inside from her is still there and it is very smooth and shiny on the inside. It is alot like my marriage. We are a little banged up from life and decisions etc. By God’s grace none too bad. However, our marriage is strong and shiny on the inside where we have protected it.
I have been married for 26 wonderful years. Even though I am not a jewelry guy, I have worn my ring because I know its important to her!
I do work overseas and am not about to give a potential enemy any info on a family stateside. My wife understands this and just because because I do not have a ring on that I do not cherish and love her.
My husband did try to wear his wedding band when we were first married. However, his job involves working with large, fast moving machinery and the policy is absolutley no jewlery. I would rather he not wear a wedding band at all then forget to take it off and loose a finger, hand, etc. He tells me that he never forgets he is married and is quick to let it known that he is happily married.
It’s funny that this topic would come up this week. I haven’t worn my ring for about 10 years, because it got too tight. Even though I am still somewhat scrawny, I weigh about 20 pounds more than I did when we got married 29 years ago, and evidently some of that weight is in my fingers. We took the ring in to get it re-sized, and I don’t remember what the reason was, but it couldn’t be done. We couldn’t agree on a new ring that we both liked, so we just let it drop. Then, last Tuesday, I dreamt that my ring fit again. I thought about it during the day Wednesday, so when I got home, I tried it. With a little bit of soap, I was able to get it on! It’s a little bit uncomfortable, but I’m going to keep wearing it as long as I can. I know my wife was ok with me not wearing it, but I also know she is happier now that I have it on again. Sure, it’s just a symbol, but it does mean a lot.
Then, today, I saw what your topic was, and I couldn’t believe it. Maybe the Lord is trying to tell me something?
When my wife and I got married, we both wore rings.I never took my ring off and neither did she. After 10 years of marriage my finger became swollen and the ring dug into the skin.
So we decided to take it off and get it refitted. It was not easy.
Unfortunately, before we got it refitted—- MY WIFE LOST THE RING! About 7 years later her finger became swollen and would take it off to work (she types) and you would never guess what happened—that’s right,, SHE LOST IT!! LOL
Our 25th wedding anniversary is coming up in 2011. I would like to get “new rings” and renew our wedding vowels… but we will see…we will at least renew “our vowels.”
My husband has had his off only a handful of times during our 18 years of marriage, mostly due to injury which caused swelling. I have a tendency to take mine off while I am in the house because I don’t like to use cleaners with the ring on and would rather not be mixing bread or meatloaf with a ring on ;). There are times I forget to put it on when I leave the house and I feel uncomfortable. It means a lot to me that my husband makes the effort to wear it every day. The visible symbol of our commitment to each other is important to us and we want our children to see that we value each other and are proud that others can see we are married, not just by the ring but also our actions towards each other.
My father in law never wore his, due to safety issues. My mother in law had both of their wedding bands melted down and had a cross made and her diamond is at the center. She said they were joined in Christ and the joining of their rings after 60 years of marriage was very meaningful to them.
We don’t own wedding rings. We’ve been married for almost 17 years. I’m not against them. I just don’t have one nor him. I’m ok with that. And I can afford one. So its just a choice.
I don’t wear any jewelry except for my wedding ring. I love the symbolism. When I look at my ring I think about our 3 beautiful kids and my wife that I am still crazy about. My wife feels the same way and she is so attractive that I prefer that she wears hers before she leaves the house without me:)
Neither my wife nor I wear one because of 1 Peter which talks about not adorning yourself, but letting the inner person of the heart be your adornment. I call it “attitude jewelry.” So, neither of us wears any jewelry, including wedding rings.
While I have had many people tell me they needed to because of flirting, etc. I have never been really treated as, or acted as if I was available. If anyone started to act that way, I simply shut it down. My “attitude jewelry” of the inner person of the heart, always does the trick.
While we don’t judge people who wear them, we feel that the important jewelry is the inner man, and we want that to shine through.
My hubby rarely wears his wedding ring. He is a custom cabinet maker and it is actually dangerous for him much of the time. When we go out, he often will put it on, but sometimes he forgets. It doesn’t bother me, I know he is committed to me and to our 7 children in other ways. He is not trying to look single.
I have been working in as a sheet metal mechanic for about 25 years and have had my wedding ring on for the past 18 years and only once have I caught it on anything that might have caused damage to my finger/hand. And my ring has also “shrunk” over the years, but I just can’t imagine not wearing it. It’s a symbol of my comittment to my wife and my marriage. Sorry to sound so pious, but it is important to me!
Does the “ring” make you any more married? I do remember the vows that I exchanged with my wife, Twenty five years ago..I do not wear a ring .I used to but it has worn down and the edges are sharp. I do not need the “ring” to remind me that I am married. I get reminded every day as I hug my wife and children. The Lord has blessed me and I made a promise to my wife twenty five years ago and I still hold that promise in my heart.I am looking forward to the next twenty five. Ring or no ring she is still the only one for me!
Ok I wear mine most of the time. Summers are the worst because my hands like to swell. If I resized it then in the winter it would not stay on. Also in my opinion it is just a symbol. Your true marriage is in your heart and is the bonding between you and your spouse. It is in how you treat her and love her not because you wear a ring.
My husband does construction and painting work and does not wear it for safety reasons. He does however wear it on weekends or vacations, or even during the week on a rare date night.:0) I am fine with this arrangement. I wear mine everyday, but I do take it off at bedtime, but it goes right back on in the morning.
I was an auto mechanic for 20 years. When I got to work, I put my ring in the top drawer of my toolbox (along with my keys). It went right back on my finger when I grabbed my keys to go home at the end of the day. It is MORE than a symbol, it’s a reminder of our commitment to each other.
I have not worn my wedding ring since I was pg with our 1st child who is now 6. Since then I have gone up 10 ring sizes. I would like to wear my ring but my husband doesn’t want to spend the money on a new one/would rather me lose the weight. I wore my engagement ring on a necklace at work before we got married but now I don’t wear any jewellery at all. I’m glad my hubby wears his but it obviously doesn’t matter to him if I wear mine. I am also a homeschooling mum so I have children in tow nearly everywhere I go.
I think it is important to continually wear a ring as a reminder of our promise to our spouse. I am on my second wedding ring. I dented and outgrew (due to my bride’s cooking) my first ring. I couldn’t even get it off without ice, hand lotion, a little lost skin, and some grunting. The funny thing is that it did not bother me that it couldn’t be removed. That is the way it should be. My wife bought me a new ring last month as a surprise. It is more comfortable, but just a irremovable as the old one – except it gets placed on a clip attached to my keys when working on cars now. I’m not sure how she would respond if I dent the new one :).
My husband delivers boxes for a living. After having the poor ring cut off his finger, re-sized and waiting for his hand to recover several times over the past 32 years, I requested that it live in the jewelry box until he retires. It makes brief appearances on vacations. To me the fact that he works up to 60 hour weeks and spends almost all other hours with the children and me says far more than if the ring is actually on or off his hand. Right now he is out in the kitchen helping the girls make banana muffins so I can spend some time on-line. Now that’s commitment.
As a woman, I immediately mistrust a married man who doesn’t wear a wedding ring when he is not with his wife/family. It makes me feel like he is untrustworthy and I should be careful around him.
My DH is another farmer who does not wear his for safety reasons. However, I really wish he would care enough to put it on when we are “out” together: church, date nights, weddings, even shopping in the city would be nice.
Our wedding rings are not “just jewelry” – they are gifts we exchanged during our wedding, in front of God and witnesses, that symbolize the covenant we made to each other and God (unlike the other jewelry he gave to my that same day).
I have reconciled myself to the fact that my husband does not always wear his (I would never dream of removing mine for more than cleaning, resizing, and taking care of them, like when I knead bread or put on hand lotion) and I know that symbolism isn’t a big thing to him but I wish he would care enough to try to remember, simply because it is important to me. That said, he is a wonderful husband – after our 11 years and 5 children I would never have the slightest doubts about his motives or where our marriage is at because of where his ring is – I love the symbolism and would feel so cherished if he would make that extra effort.
Prior to our wedding day, my husband actually had decided that he didn’t want to wear a wedding ring because his opinion was that his ancestors (male) never wore a wedding ring, and that it was just the woman that wore the ring. He also can’t see any Biblical detail on it. I baulked at this when we were getting married, but he wouldn’t change his mind. He says it is a modern concept.
I have accepted the fact that he will never wear a wedding ring. Our wedding ceremony had only one ring (mine). I sometimes think of it when we have a family wedding because all my brothers wear wedding rings,(I have 6 brothers, and then I have 7 sisters almost all married now too) and I think they are a wonderful sign of love and devotion on the man’s part. Having said that, I know of his love and devotion to me, so I have accepted his decision in this area. After 11 years of marriage, I don’t feel it is necessary like I did back then. I would still have to say that it is my preference for a man to wear a wedding ring.
Ok, that’s it! I am going to get my husband’s ring resized due to being knocked on the head by your article. I forced him to wear it to his brother’s wedding a few weeks ago and as I placed (forced) it on his finger, I was taken back 12 years to the first time I placed it on his finger. Such an awesome feeling it was! He told me he will wear it once it is fixed. YAY!
My wife and I have three banded wedding ring rings – also known as Russian wedding rings. My fingers are thinner than when I got married and so the ring began to slip off. I knew that I had had to get it re-sized but never did it. However, I did put it on the cross necklace that my wife bought me for a wedding gift. The clasp on the necklace was a hook clasp and sometimes would separate. One time while driving, I felt the necklace unclasp and I thought that as soon as I stop the car, I will have to fix it. We all bounded out of the car and I had forgotten about the necklace. The next thing I knew, I had lost the ring and necklace. I was sick, I had lost the two physical pieces that meant the most to me. Last year, my wife surprised me by having another ring made for me – she had hers melted as and re-made well so that the two rings are made of the same material. I was ecstatic to see that I have my ring again. We love the symbolism of the three rings intertwined – God, my wife and me.
Neither one of us wears a wedding ring. My husband almost lost his fingers because he caught his hand while working on something. I am allergic to many metals, and I also broke my hand, which caused me to not be able to wear it, and then I lost it:(
I also beleive that a ring can be taken off, and it is only an outward sign of a true heart. If either of us wanted to cheat, a ring would not matter anyway. We also live in a small town and everyone knows you don’t mess with Al’s girl, or Ang’s guy….
I would like to have another ring though. I did like to wear mine, and it is nice when Allen wears his. His sons are more bothered by him not wearing it than I am and they often hand it to him and say “ Daddy you need to wear this, and get Mommy a new one.” So cool. I don’t even have to ask.:)
My husband wore his ring for about the first 4 months of our marriage. He is a hot air balloon pilot and was in Albuquerque, New Mexico for a their annual hot air balloon festival. I could’nt attend because I was too close to my delivery date (baby #1) and couldn’t go. We also live in California. Long story short, my husband’s band fit him slightly big from day one and he lost it in the large field while inflating the hot air balloon! He was in a frantic panic! There were thousands of people and 800 hot air balloons. He mentioned to a fellow pilot friend that he lost it and this friend of his found it in the grass nearby! What a miracle! He was scared to lose it again and put it away. But, the main reason he no longer wears it is because he is a sign maker. He does a lot of vinyl lettering applications on vehicles and he says he will scratch the paint when he applies the lettering if he has his ring on. Makes perfect sense. I didn’t like the idea of him not wearing it, but I got over it and my insecurity. We’ve been married for 8 years now. I wear my ring and that’s good enough. Mine is prettier anyway!
Is anyone reading this far down in the blog besides Todd?
Wear the dang ring you morons!
“But my wife doesn’t care!”
SO? YOU’RE MARRRIED. THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW IT. BROADCAST IT, “I’M MARRIED! STAY AWAY!”
“But it hurts my finger”
GET OVER IT. SIZE IT PROPERLY.
“But I got it caught on a fishing lure one time 16 years ago.”
SO WHAT? WEAR IT ANYWAY!
“But it itches a little, and sometimes it bothers me”.
YOU BIG BABY. BE A MAN. A MARRIED MAN.
YOU ‘DA MAN. ACT LIKE IT.
I wear my ring to tell my wife that my love for her is everlasting. And to tell other women to stay away. I feel naked when I am not wearing it.
When we were first married my ring was too big. My boss said “Oh its a string ring joined with gold”.I had it resized and it fit fine. It was snug enough to stay on but could be removed. Well, my body has changed over the last 29 years and now it doesn’t come off. Its been that way for at least the last 20 or so years.I can still turn it and it doesn’t cut off circulation but its on for good. My guess is I’ll be buried with some day but until that time I’m happy to say “the ring stays on”.
I remember that my Grandfather had his ring taken off of him when he died. He never surrendered it. This is made more significant because my Grandmother preceded him in death by several years. He never took it off, someone had to do that for him. I want my Grandson to say that kind of thing about me someday.
Wow. Interesting reading all this, When i first clicked on the comment page, I was ready to state why i don’t wear mine. It was for safety reasons at first, I am in construction, Now i am in the office. But after reading all this specially the woman’s view and how proud they are of their husband. I will wear MINE. I guess i just got use to not wearing it….But I also never thought of how significant it is, I am happy to be married and Blessed by my wife…..Thank you for the reminder.
Except for handful of times I’ve taken it off to admire it, I’ve worn mine every minute of every day in the 17 years my wife and I have been married. It’s worn a groove in my finger and the skin is polished smooth beneath it. It’s a reminder of the covenant I have with Jesus and my wife whenever the temptation to cast lingering glances come my way. There’ve been occasions where taking it off seemed wise and it’s scarred from the times it’s shielded my finger from getting ripped from my hand; and ripping it from my hand is the only way it’ll come off.
Karl
Well, confession time. My husband and I haven’t been wearing them often because we both gained some weight and it is painful to get it on and off. He also does a lot of jobs that he gets blisters or gets caught on metal. So in a few weeks it will be our 20th anniversary and I can say it doesn’t bother me much because we are happily married but we both agree that it would be nice to loose a few pounds and wear them everyday.
I wear mine all the time, except for when my children want to look at it and try it on. For the brief time it is off. I feel as if I’m not completely whole. My eye’s are focused on the ring the whole time it is off.
Like several people have mentioned here, there are some jobs where you can’t wear them for safety reasons. I work in a lumber mill and though my mill doesn’t have a “no ring” policy, I have visited other mills in the company that require you to remove any and all jewelry (including wedding rings) as soon as you enter the plant site. My dad worked in a coal mine most of his adult life and stopped wearing his ring at work when another man got his ring caught in a chain. I wear mine. But I usually have work gloves on. I only take my wedding band off when I shower and then I lay it on the dresser and put it on again as soon as I’m out of the shower.
Just this Sunday my husband was giving a bible talk. I was sitting in the crowd admiring him and noticed the band of gold on his left hand as he used his hand to emphasise a point or feeling, slipping his hand back in his pants pocket from time to time. It made me feel so secure, so warm, so ‘belonging’, to know that the wedding band on the man I was listening to, meant he belonged to me and I to him. That is special – something between just the 2 of us. It made me feel in love all over again.
Countless times over the last 16 years, while he is driving in the car, holding my hand, digging in the garden, holding one of our kids, talking to others etc etc I have gazed at and pondered the gold band on his finger – a symbol of our togetherness – that he is mine! As the years tick past, that band grows in meaning – as the memories pile up and the tapestry of our life together keeps on being woven. It means a lot to me and it means a lot to him.
I don’t wear my ring because my mother-in-law asked me not to. At first that made me upset but we can’t afford to get new rings. I bought some cheap imitation stuff but everyone laughed at that, so I got a huge chunky kids’ ring and a matching tiara to wear when I need to be the Queen of Everything. My husband can’t wear a ring or he’ll lose a finger. Traditionally my people wear silver pins at the neckline because in cold temperatures you get frostbite from a ring really easily. Or we could have a tattooed ring but my husband didn’t like that idea. So, for me, silver jewelry, no ring, no tattoo. Some cultures wear a toering. Actually the whole diamond ring idea was a marketing ploy—always before that diamonds were only for wealthy people. To be honest, I do not like diamonds that much, I love brightly colored gems the best. People do sometimes wonder why we are not married but we are.
I very rarely, if ever, take off my wedding ring. Unfortunately I don’t always honor it how I should but I do try my best in Christ. I thought I had lost it one time and I don’t think I ever have or ever will feel the sorrow over something physical having been lost more than my wedding ring. Car, get another one, job, the Lord will provide, keys, very annoying but I would still rather have my wedding ring. Unless it creates some real physical danger, I suspect I will never take it off. Oh, except to let my kids play with it at church…keeps them busy for a few minutes. 😉
I would love for my husband of 29 years to wear his wedding ring however, he is an electronic technician so wearing one could be lethal. He almost lost his finger while wearing it one day and not in his field of work either… it got caught on a door as he was leaving a store. I mostly don’t think about it until someone brings it up or we are at a wedding. Odd. I suppose I just feel safe and secure in our relationship. I always wear mine. He would never ever want me to go without it. It’s all just very interesting—Thanks for asking.
My son just returned from 4 years in the military. He said that women at bars target married men because “it is more fun” (to bring down a married man?). I’m glad he continues to wear a band, and I’m grateful to God for bringing him through safely – both the Army, and Iraq.
My husband usually wears his. Occasionally he will take it off. He always has a good reason though. For instance, one time he was doing his physical training for work (he’s a Marine) in a swimming pool and it slipped off. Fortunately he noticed and the game was ‘paused’ to look for it – and they found it. He no longer wears it in the pool. I definitely prefer that he wear it but I do understand why he takes it off occasionally.
I on the other hand have to take mine off regularly. I can’t wear my set at night because my fingers swell and it’s extremely uncomfortable in the morning. Then I can’t get them off. I also have to take them off because my fingers swell a ton when I’m pregnant. We had our first child together a month before our 1st anniversary, so I had to take my rings off within the first few months of marriage! My husband bought me an inexpensive band to wear when I’m pregnant. So I know that he definitely wants me to wear one as well! If I do leave the house without a ring on, I feel very self-conscious.
My husband stopped wearing his wedding ring when he got a rash on his finger. He hasn’t been able to wear it since. Me, I don’t wear mine because it is now too large for my finger; it slips off too easily. (I can’t afford to get it resized.) I try to wear it when I go out, but I sometimes forget. We are committed to each other and to the marriage covenant we made before the Lord and others. We’ve been married for over 20 years. As far as I’m concerned, I know my husband loves me and that the ring, while a symbol of our marriage, is not an indicator of his love for me or his commitment to our marriage.
Hi Todd! My wife made me remove ring after veiwing the results of what happens to a human finger when a ring gets caughton something. Then the railroad banned them for my craft (engineer) on duty. She has since lost my original, which probably wouldn’t fit anymore. I was going on a trip and we were in Books-a-Million, and I bought a Spinner ring that I now wear off duty and on a chain on duty. My ring is a symbol of my pledge to her. I am serious about that.
Hey Todd!! Love your comment(s) I do believe in both of us wearing our wedding bands. Although love and fidelity depend on your relationship with God, I still do think of wearing this as a sign of respect. I do understand the safety reasons though. I must say I learned this from my parents, they’re very serious about this, and I’m greatful for their example. My husband didn’t share this thought at first,(although he ever took it off, he didn’t really care either) but he has learned that for me it is important, and has even talked to other brothers about their ring 🙂 Thank you for taking notice on this, and I really hope to read more about your personal opinion (and biblical view) on the matter. Blessings from our Abba!!!
My husband wore his until it became so tight that it literally had to be cut off. When we got married he was a malnourished 21 yr. old fresh out of basic training. He did purchase a replacement once but he has outgrown that one too and we can’t afford to replace it. I haven’t worn mine since my 15 yr. old was born for the same reason. My dad never wore his as he worked in electronics and it wasn’t safe. I don’t think it’s a make it or break it deal although I wish we both had rings we could wear.
I have had my wedding ring on my finger for 22 years now. My finger has grown up around it a bit and I can’t remove it. I kind of like it that it doesn’t come off. To me, it makes a statement that this is forever. I can understand guys not wearing it for job safety reasons but I think I would put back on as I left work. I tell my kids it is my “I Love Mommy Ring” and it doesn’t come off for anything. They just smile when I tell them that. My wife has an “I Love Daddy Ring”. I am not sure what I would do if I have to get it cut off someday but thought of it kind of bums me out.
When we first married we didn’t wear rings because of a principle of simplicity that our church holds. About 4 years later when I was working in ICCU, an incident changed that. I was assisting a doctor on a patient that had just returned to the unit. He made a comment that made me think he was going to ask me out to dinner. So as we worked I found an opportunity to say something about my husband thinking that that would discretely handle the situation. Instead of just moving on coolly though, he stopped, looked at me, then pointedly picked up my hand and said, “You’re married?! Why aren’t you wearing a ring?” Though he accepted my reason I was very embarrassed and felt shame for the apearance of it. I respected him very much because he did not flirt with the nurses or spend time in idle talk at the nursing station. He was a conscientious doctor and I felt responsible for his embarrassment—not because of anything I had done or said, but because I was not wearing the accepted sign of marriage. Since that time, for those that value marriage, we have worn rings to avoid a similar situation. We also believe that in this day when marriage and sexual purity are not valued, it is a testimony to those around us. We have been married for 32 years.
My 1st husband couldn’t afford a ring. It bothered me that we didn’t have rings, but in the end it didn’t matter. He was abusive and I was glad to be rid of him.
My 2nd husband ALWAYS wore his ring. I loved it that he did. In the end though it didn’t matter. He had to travel for work and that ring on his finger didn’t make a difference to him when he shared himself with other women.
My 3rd husband also wears his ring all the time. Although the difference between him and my exs is that he loves me, he loves “our” children, he loves being married to me, and he lets everyone know it. We have matching wedding bands and when holding hands in church it gives me great comfort to feel that ring on his finger & to KNOW that he believes in our marriage.
They say the 3rd time is a charm … I think they are right. In this instance anyhow. 🙂
I really dislike the fact that I’ve been married 3 different times, and really dislike it when others find that out. This is also my huband’s 3rd marriage. People are amazed at that fact though.We’ve been together for 7 years now, but everyone thinks we’ve been together at least 18 (the age of my oldest son) because of the relationship this man has with all the children & with me. We are now a true,loving family. Him wearing his wedding band shows me just how much he loves us all and reminds me of what a trustful, loving, and faithful husband and father he really is.
So, I have mixed feelings on men wearing their wedding bands. You can pretty much spot the ones that are wearing it just because is it’s easier to wear it and not listen to the wife complain. But when you come across those men that are wearing those wedding bands because they really believe in their marriages you can tell that too. You can tell by the way they talk to you and hold themselves that they love their wives, children, and their life with them. You can also spot these REAL MEN when they aren’t wearing a wedding band though.
My husband of 21 years is on his third wedding ring. Not because I am his third wife, but because he refuses to remove it for work. He builds stairs and railing so twisting all those balusters wears through his ring every six years or so. He comes home with an awful pinch mark on his finger and, with the ring still on, says, “It’s time for a new one!” It means so much to me for him to do this, especially considering how many of the guys he works with who use “work” as their excuse for not wearing their wedding bands. My 24 year old son is following suit. He, too, is on his third wedding band, but only on his 18th month of marriage! He keeps losing his when he’s fishing; his hands get wet and cold and, next thing he knows, his ring has come off. He always replaces it immediately, never using it as an excuse to look single. I think he’s finally considering a smaller size! Needless to say, neither of us couples invest in fancy or expensive rings for our guys but, my daughter-in-law and I should invest in a bulk buy of wedding bands!
Wow, these are some stories. I have been married for almost 26 years now and I have only taken it off once. We went to a third world country on a missions trip and they told us we would not want to wear any jewelery like watches or wedding rings. Some of the places we were going to could pose a problem if we had it exposed. We both left our wedding rings at home along with all other items. This has been the only time we took them off. We talk about their meaning often to our kids and they each have their own purity rings now to wear. My ring is an indication of my love for my wife and since it’s a circle which never ends, I will not take it off again no matter what because my love for her never ends.
My husband welds and is unable to wear his ring at work for safety reasons. We have been married for 15 years and it has never bothered me. He wears his ring when he is not working and when we are on vacation. I love the look of it on his finger but I am not offended when he has to take it off for work. It is pretty common. I don’t usually question a married man without a ring. It is all in the man’s attitude. You can tell who he is in love with. You don’t need a wedding ring to tell you that. 😉
I am married to a woman who doesn’t wear a ring. We have been married for 13 years and she still will not wear one (even though she did when we were engaged). I have been very disapointed about it, but it should never be allowed to come between us in our relationship. I agree with you whole heartedly and wish that she did also.
For many years, my husband did not wear a ring for a variety of reasons. At one point, it was a safety issue. Another time it was removed due to an injury and he was unable to put it back on. More recently weight gain prevented him from wearing and then loss of weight caused it to fall off. He stopped wearing it because he thought he might lose it. I have never doubted my husband’s love, but I appreciate when he can wear his ring. More important has been the communication of what it means to each of us. My husband’s heart is married to me and so he feels the ring is insignificant. I, on the other hand, appreciate the tangible evidence of our vows and our bond. After 19 years of marriage, you might think it shouldn’t matter to me. I confess, it hurts my heart when I see it is missing from his hand, not because I doubt him, but because I feel that he doesn’t understand how important that it is to me.
My husband has not wore a ring for the last 3 yrs. I have not worn a ring for the last 6 yrs. We have been married 12 yrs. We never bought a ring for me, but I wore a “dime store” ring for the first 6 yrs of our marriage till it wore out. He would like me to wear a ring, but we have not made buying one a priority. I know I am married and have not had a problem without a ring. I trust my husband’s faithfulness. However, I would like to have a ring someday to wear as a symbol of our commitment. Sometimes it is embarassing not to have one.
What difference does it make if they wear the ring but they use that same hand to m* to pornography. My husband has worn his ring and as far as I know never taken it off, but it apparently didn’t mean too much to his wandering eye… So, the ring is a symbol and whether or not they wear it doesn’t really tell you where the heart is.
When we were married in 1973, I had a wedding ring that matched my wife’s in pattern and had a tiny diamond “chip”. In the late 90’s I shared a bathroom with our early teen daughter (now 24!). After a discipling, I had thoughtlessly left my ring in the bathroom after a shower. In her anger, she threw it down the toilet. (For perspective she soon became a runaway, and never again really lived with us). In 2000, on a cruise we bought me a new ring (non-matching) in San Juan. Just a couple years later I broke that finger, and the fire department had to cut the ring off. Getting a third just hasn’t seemed right…
I love to wear mine because my wife gave it to me 31 yrs ago. But its not the ring itself that keeps us togrther. It is the love that the Lord placed in our hearts for each other. The ring is a symbol to the rest of the world that our love is an unending circle, just like the love of Christ Jesus !
My wife and I have matching wedding bands, and that is all she wears (she’s not into diamonds and likes the “solidarity” it shows with matching bands) Wearing a wedding band reminds me that this is forever and leaving is not an option (as a child of divorce, this is a fear of mine)
Rings are important, they are a symbol of your commitment to each other. But It is your actions that make that ring special. In your letter you mentioned that you always felt safe when you saw your dads ring on. I would venture to guess it was really what kind of dad that he was that made you feel safe the ring was just a symbol that reminded you of that. If your Dad was a poor father and or Husband I would be willing to bet that ring would not have ment that much to you.
Love.
A wedding ring should be a symbol to yourself and others of your commitment to your wife / family as well as the commitment you made to our heavenly Father!
I do understand some jobs for safety require no jewelry and understand this but a spouse should have a ring to wear when not working and should be proud to wear one!
I spent 27 years in the military doing plenty of things that could rip off a finger…so I wore a glove or put it on my watchband. The wedding band is the visible sign to the world that a man has made a commitment to God and the wife God gave him to love, honor and cherish her; to protect her; to show her Grace; to forget her wrongs; to always assume the best in her; he does these things because that is what we are commanded to do in Scripture, in God’s Word. I’m reminded of 1 Co 13:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New King James Version)
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails.
We are all called to be the Prophet, Priest, Protector and Provider for our wives and families. Wearing a ring is a small action of many that communicates that commitment to Christ and the family he’s given you.
This year my wife and I celebrated our 20th anniversary and I’m grateful to God, who lovingly matched us together. I have recently had my ring re-sized as it was starting to cut off my circulations. For 10 days, I was without my band and I hated every minute of it. Like you, it made me feel good and warm to have the band on my finger. It illustrates the commitment that we have for each other. I know my kids, who are 16 and 12 did not like seeing me without my ring, which reinforces what you said about feeling “safe” about their parent’s marriage. I hope that all men feel the same way.
I have thought about this before, but it has always just been a standard part of marriage. Very seldom in my 23 years of marriage have I been without my ring, or my wife without hers. That’s just the way it works for us. I you are married then you wear your ring. It’s not just a symbol, it’s becomes almost a part of who you are.
I’ve worn mine for the 31 years of our marriage. I’ve only had it off once or twice for surgery (until I found I could convince them to just tape over it). I lift weights and it does scratch away at the gold over time. But, I gladly allow it knowing the symbol of my marriage is exceedingly more valuable to me than the gold and refuse to tape over it during workouts. Call it proud to be married and safety from “prowlers”.
My wife never takes off her band and only takes off her diamond engagement ring when doing dishes or heavy cleaning.
My personal experience is that my employer has a safety regulation that limits where I can wear a ring. So it’s just easier not to wear it the days that I work. I try to make sure that I do wear it on the days that I don’t work. My wife kids me about not wearing it but it goes a little deeper than that. We have talked about it and have come to an agreement about my not wearing it vs wearing it. In reality the ring is just a symbol and my true intent is to honor my wife in all ways. I am certainly not perfect and fall short many times but I do hold my vows to her and before my Lord dear. I prayed for a woman such as her and He blessed my prayer, so I don’t take my marriage lightly. Ring or no ring, I’m a married man and I think most people that don’t know me personally would see that in my actions and manners. That’s my 2cents on it.
I admire that you are committed to your marriage and your wife. my husband just recently started working at a factory and it kills me that he doesn’t wear his ring, he said he isn’t allowed but it is scary that there isn’t anything to show the women that he is indeed married and due to his friendly nature.
Dear Married,
If you husband works at a factory, the reason he isn’t allowed to wear his wedding ring is for safety. My husband does construction and doesn’t wear his ring either. In an accident, a ring can result in the loss of a finger. Personally it doesn’t bother me. However, I am the type that is very safety conscious.
I wear mine I guess 90% of the time. It’s the same with my Wife. We sometimes just forget to put them on. I will say this I feel naked when I forget it and realize it. I guess it’s kinda like a shield against some unseen enemy.
We have been married 30 years, and it’s obvious everywhere we go that we are quite married and best friends. My husband never liked jewelry and still won’t wear a watch, but he honored me by going through the “discomfort” until he was used to the ring. We believe that because of his public position as the pastor of a church, it is especially important to clarify that he is married. Now I don’t recall his ring ever having been off except once when it had to be cut off during an allergic reaction to poison ivy. I, however,having been through eight pregnancies, having gained weight, having lost the diamond once, and having arthritis, have frequently had to wear mine on a neckchain instead of my finger. In fact, it lives in my jewelry box and I just make it a habit to put it on every time I leave the house. One time that I forgot to do that stands out in my memory. I was at the grocery with five sons, looking very married, I thought, and conversing with the cashier. The man bagging groceries was admiring the kids and their good behavior, and was insistent on helping us get the groceries to the van. When he made a comment about what a great job I was doing as a single mom, I was stunned and corrected the misunderstanding. The atmosphere became cooler instantly! I don’t think I’ll forget the ring again!
My husband recently started working at a factory and he isn’t allowed to wear his wedding band, as it really bothers me greatly to point where I just want to cry, it seems like he has taken it off and its part of us. I don’t like him working in a factory to start with because of all the infidelity that goes on there, so with him not wearing his band now makes it harder for people to know that he does have wife. I have read the articles that you all wrote and admire that you are committed to your wife’s and families, It’s a shame that women in factory’s have to be the way they are. married people have so many obstacles.
[…] The importance of WEARING your wedding band […]
I feel that a husband should wear a wedding ring if he truly loves his wife and is committed to her. My husband has stopped wearing his wedding ring on a few occasions to show me his contempt for me and it has hurt me greatly. He currently does not wear a wedding ring and it signifies his lackluster love for me. When I need to comfort myself, I remind myself that God is truly faithful to me.
I had no problems when my husband quit wearing his ring at work. I knew he loved me and told him that it was fine as long as he ‘acted married’ and was upfront about me and our family. He wore it on weekends for a while and then ‘lost’ it. I found out this spring that he has been in an affair with one of his former pastor’s daughter for 4 years and he has since moved out. I now suspect there have been others. Would wearing his ring have stopped him? Probably not, but it is one way of showing the world that your wife and family are vitally important to you. Please wear your rings!
My husband does not wear his wedding ring on a daily basis. If he wore it at work he would be in constant danger of loosing a finger if not his whole hand and I am perfectly fine with him not wearing his ring to work. Any time other time he goes out he has his ring on.
I have a friend who’s husband was not allowed to wear his ring (or any other type of jewelry) on his deployments and the environment made him feel that he needed something to show that he was clearly married and “not available.” He and his wife talked about it and he had the pattern that is etched into his ring tattoed around his ring finger. It has worked wonderfully!
I’ve only had my ring off for surgeries (and boy were there many). I’ve worn it every day since our marriage, otherwise. I’ve had them joined (engagement and band) so I do keep both on 24/7. My husband wears his about 90% of the time. He gets a reaction when it’s too hot and will sometimes take it off at home. He works from home so that isn’t a problem. The few times that he couldn’t wear it out (because of the reaction), he wore it on a chain around his neck.
Hi Todd, I have not removed my ring in over 15 years and when I did take it off 15 years ago it was because of an injury. Beyond that when I got engaged to my wife I also got an engagement ring (simple band). My wife and I know some Northern Europeans and some of their cultures the man wore the engagement ring, so my wife and I both chose to wear an engagement ring. In our minds it just makes sense, both of us wear a ring from engagement and throughout our marriage. I was devoted from the beginning so why would I not wear a ring from the start.
It used to bug me when my husband would take his ring off to work on cars. I thought it meant he did not love me, but I know he does. When working on tight spaces, it is very difficult to wear a ring, chancing it getting caught on something.
My husband has also been having pain in his fingers, and it hurts him to wear the ring for long periods. He wears it when we go out for special occasions, and that is all. It doesn’t bother me anymore. We made a commitment to each other, not to a ring. Yes, it is a symbol of the union, but the vow in front of God is a lot more powerful than a ring to me.
When shopping for my husbands wedding band he said he wanted the biggest (widest) one he could find so the world would know he’s married. He was 37 when we got married and he wanted the world to know he was done looking i guess. I thought it sweet at the time but have grown to appreciate how much he does to try to protect our marriage of 7 years.
My dad was a machine-shop supervisor when I was little. He was not allowed to wear a wedding ring there (or any jewelry) for fear of it getting caught in the machinery and losing a finger. As a little girl I asked about it and received that explanation. It made perfect sense, so I never thought any more of it. My husband’s jobs are frequently manual. He has worked in a machine shop for one year of our marriage, but he worked for most of the rest of our marriage for cities and municipalities. Even in his position as “Assistant Director of Public Works” for a local city, he still has to work on leaks – both water and sewer. It really does not make sense for him to wear a ring to work. We are mostly homebodies. In our area, people know we are married.
I don’t wear a wedding ring either. I did when we first married, but due to weight gain / weight loss and then having a skin reaction for a time with the ring, I’ve not worn mine for years. I have no opposition to wearing one, but with the children, the priority of getting a new ring for me is so far down that it doesn’t even make the list of wants or needs.
I’d say that for us, it is a matter of our deep love for one another and complete trust.
Before we were married, I did wear rings at time on my wedding ring finger simply to keep the men at bay. (My husband even recalls “the huge rock” I was wearing the first time he met me – and it was a deterrent. As we went to church together, he got to know me and know that I was single, but I got to give the signal that it was okay for him to pursue me.)
Our children serve to outwardly represent our love for one another and fulfill the same purpose that those other rings I wore before we were married did. We are very satisfied and content with our lives together and our beautiful family.
i think if the wife wears her ring, the husband should wear his, but if neither wear one then i think that’s ok too (but it definitely shouldn’t be one wearing one and one not). i had to stop wearing my original ring because the diamond was getting caught on things and scratching my kids (i never got the knack of wearing it well). i had to stop wearing my replacement ring because it was trapping water and giving me a nasty rash under the band. we eventually just stopped wearing our bands because we don’t need rings to prove anything, but i think sometimes my husband misses wearing them.
When we were engaged and in college, I found myself very jealous that other women would make moves toward my then fiancee. I bought him an engagement ring and found that it did help women leave him alone. We were engaged for 4 years before we married, because we were so very young. During nearly all of our pre-married years we lived an hour apart and didn’t attend school together, so I felt it necessary to “mark my territory”.
About 8 years ago my husband broke his ring finger. He was able to remove the ring in time and all was well. The doctor told him after a year it would be safe to resize and wear his ring again. Just a week after resizing his ring, he was doing some outside work and his finger swelled to the point where, despite many efforts, he had to hack his ring off with a pair of tin snips. The ring is really torn up and will require some money to fix it. I will be honest. At first I was very upset that he was unable to wear the ring. It had always been a symbol to me of his commitment and an assurance to me that other women would know he was married and leave him alone.
But over the last 7 years or so I have really come to realize that, though we would both like to repair the ring and have him wear it again, his commitment to me is so deep and so strong and his love for me is so obvious, that I believe any woman who might be interested in him would find out immediately that he is happily and devotedly married with a whole passel of children to show for it.
I think rings are wonderful for husbands, but I’ve learned that if I have more trust in the ring to keep my husband committed and away from other women, I am putting my trust in the wrong thing. Other women can approach, but a committed husband doesn’t even have to worry about other women, because he is so focused on his wife.
We’ve been married 17 years. He wore his ring maybe the first year. He was getting sharp pains up his arm so he asked me if I minded if he stopped wearing it. Did I want him to wear his ring? Yes, but it really doesn’t matter. It’s a matter of the heart. We trust each other. He’s been an electrician now for 14 years so he can’t anyway. Why risk having him forgetting to take it off before returning to work or suffer the pain just for my selfishness or insecurities? As for me, I wear mine all the time.
My husband TWICE lost his wedding ring, the first time three years ago and found it again after a few weeks, then just five months later he lost it AGAIN for good — the exact same way he lost it the first time. So after too often staring at an empty ring finger, I chose to spend the money (that most certainly was needed elsewhere) to replace it a year ago on our 10th wedding anniversary. It just made me feel better (plus I was able to give him a meaningful gift), even though we trust each other and I know he wouldn’t use an empty ring finger as an opportunity to be unfaithful or something. It’s an important reminder all through his day that every decision he makes affects someone else, whether it’s something he’s buying, how he’s spending his time, etc. — I know it’s just a quick little visual prompt so I cross his mind, even if it’s just for a split second.
I also had not worn my wedding/engagement rings for the past several years because they no longer fit after babies were born. So this year my gift from him was to have my rings re-sized. Now that my rings are back on my finger as well, I do think about and consider him more often any time I look down at my hand.
I think rings are important — if they weren’t, why would we exchange them in the first place?
If both spouses conduct themselves as they should then there is no need for a ring. My marriage is not based on a ring but on our mutual vow and respect. We will be celebrating 17 years in two weeks and have never had rings.
Todd, I wore my wedding band for the first year of marriage and then stopped. I was a musician and the ring was hurting my finger. Additionally I was part of a church that frowned on wearing jewelry of any kind. I have never liked wearing watches or rings, so leaving the ring was a relief. Naturally I had the support of my wife. I’ve been blissfully married to her for nearly 18 years and have enough commitment to tell a woman with inquiring eyes that I am married. The ring is not the thing that matters to a marriage. ..trust and integrity are.
My wife and I have been married for 18 years this coming May. We have rings but our church is against it. So we wear them when we are alone together or go on a date. I think wearing rings is a good thing. Our elders will never change that rule though.
We just celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary and have never had rings. Thankfully, it’s not what makes a marriage. 🙂
I know many men, farmers, construction workers and such, who do not wear them out of safety concerns. It can get caught causing unspeakable awfulness. For many of them, trying to put them on and take them off for work is just to great a risk.
For us, my husband broke his finger about 7-8 years ago. He took it off in time and was told to wait one year to allow adequate healing time. One week after he started wearing it again he was doing yard work and his finger rapidly began to swell. He tried everything but finally had to “chew” it off with tin snips. It will need a great deal of work to repair it and we just never feel it is a good time to spend the money.
It really bothered me at first. But over time I have come to realize that it isn’t a big deal. For us. We would both like for him to start wearing one again, in fact I intend to buy him a silicone one soon, as that finger still swells more than the others.
I myself took off my wedding and engagement rings while pregnant with number 7 (I always have to… It feels rather awkward being hugely pregnant with no wedding ring). I have since been able to get the engagement ring back on, but I still cannot wear my wedding ring. We will not discuss how old number 7 is…. I might need to just have it resized at this point. 😉
My husband always wore his band until he joined Freemasonry. After that it seems he mysteriously lost so much weight that it no longer fits like before. Anyway, going on 3 years now he hasn’t worn a ring, despite my despair over it because he’s out in the public on a daily basis. It almost embarrasses me that people we know might feel I’m not worth wearing a band. So, two days ago my band came off. To prove a point, I’m going to see how much attention I will get now without it because, in my opinion, the ring finger is the first thing a person might notice.